Day by day passed quickly at the Vedegra residence.
In between brutal physical training sessions, Alrain began to change the way he served his master. He no longer just trained and took orders. He started paying attention to the little things. He ensured Arvin's towel was always warm after a bath, prepared a cup tea when Arvin worked late, and even accompanied his master to sit silently in the garden at night.
However, the intensive interaction and emotional closeness became a double-edged sword for Alrain.
Every time Arvin smiled at him over something trivial, Alrain's heart raced. Every time Arvin touched his shoulder to correct his sword stance, Alrain's skin felt like it was burning. Not from pain, but from his own feelings.
The feelings of admiration and gratitude slowly mutated. From initially just wanting to free Arvin from past regrets, a selfish desire now crossed Alrain's mind. He wanted to possess Arvin. He wanted to be the reason behind that smile. He wanted to be bound in a life-and-death contract, not as master and servant, but as a married couple.
What should I do? Alrain screamed inwardly as he sharpened his sword one afternoon.
His hands trembled. Now, I've fallen in love with Lord Arvin instead. This is wrong. This is not right. He loves Allen. But... the more I want to forget him, the more often Lord Arvin's handsome face haunts my thoughts.
Alrain tried hard to fight his feelings. He tried to busy himself with insane training. However, the more he tried to stay away, the more his affection exploded, suffocating his chest until it was hard to breathe.
Until one night, Alrain's defenses crumbled. He could no longer bear holding this feeling alone. Recklessly, he walked toward Arvin's study.
Knock! Knock! Knock!
"Come in."
Alrain opened the door and found Arvin examining a stack of documents. His master looked tired but still stunning under the crystal light.
"M-My Lord..." Alrain called nervously, his voice choked in his throat.
Arvin put down the quill in his hand and looked up. "What's up, Alrain? You look pale."
Alrain crumpled the hem of his shirt. He needed validation. He needed to know where he stood compared to the shadow of the past.
"H-How does my face look in your eyes?" he asked suddenly.
Arvin frowned, confused by the random question. However, he still looked at Alrain's face standing right in front of his desk. The Duke's blue eyes swept from the tips of Alrain's green hair to his posture, assessing him objectively.
"You are handsome," Arvin answered honestly and directly, "and also cute at the same time."
Arvin leaned back in his chair, staring at Alrain intently. "And to be honest, physically, your handsome and cute face surpasses Allen. You fit my criteria perfectly. If we had met in a different situation, I might have wanted you."
Thump-thump! Thump-thump!
Alrain's world seemed to stop spinning. Hearing that honest answer, happiness exploded in his chest like fireworks. His heart raced wildly, pumping hope through every blood vessel. He was handsomer and cuter than Allen. He fit Arvin's criteria.
Driven by adrenaline and soaring hope, Alrain gathered his courage. He looked into Arvin's eyes with longing.
"My Lord, if that is so..." Alrain swallowed, his voice trembling with hope. "Is there a chance for me to make you my husband? I... I'm falling in love with you."
Silence...
A suffocating silence descended instantly upon the room.
The faint smile on Arvin's face vanished without a trace. A look of shock was clearly visible on his face for a second, before finally being replaced by a thick wall of ice. His gaze became empty, cold, and unreadable.
Arvin didn't answer. There was no verbal rejection, no anger, only... emptiness.
Slowly, Arvin rose from his chair. He tidied the papers on his desk with stiff movements, then walked toward the door, passing Alrain as if the young man wasn't there.
Alrain froze. A cold sensation spread from his toes to his head.
"My Lord?" Alrain called softly, turning to look at the broad back.
However, the call didn't make Arvin turn around.
Slam!
The door closed. Arvin left without saying a single word, leaving Alrain alone with a shattered heart in the middle of the silent room.
Since the night of that confession, Alrain's hell began. Arvin's attitude changed 180 degrees. The gentle, patient, and attentive master vanished, replaced by a cold-hearted monster. Arvin avoided eye contact. Every time they met during training, the words that came out of Arvin's mouth were only sharp instructions or harsh insults.
"Your movements are slow! Do you want to die on the battlefield?!"
"Don't look at me like that!"
However, the stubborn Alrain didn't give up. He thought maybe Arvin just needed time. Alrain continued to give his attention. Bringing a cup tea, preparing towels, asking about Arvin's health.
However, that excessive attention only became fuel for the fire of Arvin's anger.
The climax occurred in the training yard that afternoon.
Alrain tried to wipe the sweat from Arvin's forehead after a sparring session. "My Lord, you look tired, let m—"
Grab!
A hand gripped Alrain's neck with lightning speed.
Alrain's body was slammed backward, his back hitting a pillar of the gazebo in the garden. The grip was so strong that Alrain's breath hitched. He looked up and saw Arvin's face now only centimeters away from his.
Those blue eyes... there was no love there. Only a terrifying flash of anger, the gaze of a killer.
"Do you want to die that badly, Alrain?" Arvin threatened with a horrifyingly low voice. His fingers pressed on Alrain's airway. "Stop your ridiculous attention! You make me sick! Do you not understand the meaning of my silence?!"
Alrain coughed, his face turning red from lack of oxygen. But strangely, he didn't feel afraid. The pain in his neck was nothing compared to the pain in his heart seeing his master suffering so much because of his presence.
He looked straight into Arvin's rage-filled eyes.
"If you want to kill me..." Alrain said with difficulty, his voice hoarse but challenging. "Go ahead and kill me right now, My Lord."
Arvin's grip loosened slightly in surprise, but Alrain continued.
"I have no one left but you in this world. My sister is dead. My friend is dead, and I was betrayed by this kingdom. If you also hate me... it's better for me to die by your hands than to live without purpose." Alrain smiled bitterly, tears trickling from the corners of his eyes. "I am fully prepared for any risk. Please... do it."
Arvin's eyes trembled. He saw total resignation in Alrain's eyes. Not the resignation of a coward, but the resignation of someone who loved too deeply until they lost their sanity.
Arvin froze stiffly. His breath hitched. He stared at his right hand gripping the neck of the person most loyal to him.
"Dammit!" Arvin hissed.
Arvin released his grip roughly, causing Alrain to fall coughing to the ground. Then, he stepped back a few paces, his body trembling, holding back overflowing emotions.
Crash!
Arvin slammed his fist with all his might into the ground.
A loud explosion was heard. The ground in the yard cracked, shattered and scattered, creating a small crater that was quite wide and deep due to the overflow of his mana and physical strength. Dust billowed into the air.
Without looking back, Arvin walked quickly away from the yard. He left Alrain alone there, coughing and holding his reddened neck.
Alrain watched Arvin's back receding until it disappeared behind the mansion door. He then shifted his gaze to the crater left by the punch.
My Lord... Alrain thought softly, ignoring the pain in his neck. His heart felt an immense pity instead. Why didn't you kill me and destroyed the yard like that instead? If you really hate me, you should have just finished me off.
Alrain touched his tight chest.
What do you actually think of me? Am I... just a reminder of your past mistakes?