Alrain was stunned. He felt the pain slowly disappear, replaced by a comfortable coolness. He stared at Arvin's face, which was so focused on healing him, sweat dripping down his master's temple.
Arvin's attention, Arvin's sincerity, reminded him of Yonna. Only his sister had ever cared for him like this.
My Lord... Alrain said in his heart, admiration swelling in his chest. You are a very sincere noble. I never thought someone as kind as you would be betrayed and hurt by this kingdom.
I swear! Alrain exclaimed in his mind, renewing his promise. I will definitely always be by your side, becoming your shield and sword, even if I have to walk toward death. You are the only noble I truly respect and admire in this life.
"Feeling better?" Arvin asked, shattering Alrain's daydream.
"Y-yes, My Lord. Thank you very much." Alrain answered, looking down to hide his teary eyes.
....
....
Several months later.
That afternoon, Alrain walked looking for Arvin to report the results of his independent training. He walked down the quiet mansion hallway until he finally found his master's study door slightly ajar.
Inside, Alrain saw an unusual sight.
Arvin was sitting on the edge of his desk, staring blankly out the window. In his hands, he held tight a black academy uniform from the Royal Academy of Astoria. He hugged the uniform as if the object was the most precious treasure, his expression a mixture of deep longing and painful regret.
The curiosity that arose in Alrain's mind could no longer be contained.
"My Lord..." Alrain called softly, knocking on the already open door.
Arvin jolted in surprise. He hurriedly placed the uniform on his lap, trying to return a calm expression to his face, though he failed.
"Ah, Alrain. Why are you coming here?"
"I've been looking for you to report." Alrain said as he stepped inside politely. His eyes didn't leave the uniform in Arvin's hands. "But... you were daydreaming here while hugging an academy uniform that is clearly too small for your current body size. What uniform is that, My Lord?"
Arvin smiled wryly, then lifted the uniform, examining it again with a sorrowful gaze.
"Ah... this?" Arvin replied casually, but his tone sounded fragile. "This uniform belongs to someone I really liked at the academy back then. But now... that person hates me very much."
"Hates you?" Alrain asked, confused. Who could hate someone as kind as Arvin? "How could that be?"
Arvin sighed deeply, his eyes looking into the past.
"Because I was a fool." Arvin answered honestly. "Back then, I was harsh to that person in front of our classmates. Even without hesitation, I humiliated that person in public when he confessed about love to me."
Alrain was shocked. It was hard to imagine the current Arvin doing something so cruel.
"Why did you do that?"
"I... I just wanted that person to become strong." Arvin said softly, his voice full of regret. "That person was a gentle child, too kind. Every time got bullied by other nobles, that person always surrendered, did nothing. And that made me sick! I thought by pressuring, cornering, that person mentality would form. I hoped that person would rise, become strong, and dare to fight the nobles who oppressed."
Arvin shook his head. "I was wrong. My method was wrong."
"Then what happened next?" Alrain asked, carried away by the atmosphere.
Arvin placed the uniform slowly on the table, stroking it gently as if caressing someone's cheek.
"That person hates me. Hates me very much." Arvin whispered. "That person finally couldn't take it anymore, then dropped out of the academy and disappeared. Until now, I don't know that person whereabouts. I've deployed some of my men to find that person, but the results are nil. I... I really want to meet that person again, just to apologize."
Silence enveloped the room. Alrain could feel how great the burden of regret his master bore.
"If I may ask..." Alrain asked carefully. "What is that person's name, My Lord? Maybe one day I can help you to find that person."
Arvin turned, looking at Alrain with eyes that were teary but full of affection when mentioning the name. "That person name is Allen."
Hearing his master's answer, Alrain's eyes widened. His mouth opened slightly in shock. He couldn't believe what he had just heard.
"M-My Lord..." Alrain uttered somewhat hesitantly, but his curiosity was too great to hold back. "Isn't that person name 'Allen'... the name of a man?"
Arvin chuckled softly seeing Alrain's reaction, but his gaze didn't waver in the slightest.
"Yes, he is indeed a man!" Arvin answered firmly, without a shred of doubt.
He looked back at the uniform with a sincere smile that warmed the heart. "To be honest, Alrain. I only want a man to be my spouse, not a woman. And Allen... he is the first and only person who managed to make me fall in love this deeply."
A heavy silence hung in the air of the young Duke's study. Arvin's confession about his sexual orientation and his past with Allen still buzzed in Alrain's ears, rendering the green-haired youth speechless after discovering the fragile side of his master, who had always seemed so strong and untouchable.
Seeing Alrain frozen, Arvin sighed softly. The corner of his lips lifted to form a faint smile, but his eyes still radiated calmness.
"You don't need to be so afraid, Alrain." Arvin said gently, trying to break the ice. He stepped closer, patting Alrain's shoulder briefly. "I admit, you are handsome. You also have a cute side that could probably captivate many people. But, don't worry about me pouncing on you. I can't turn away from my feelings for Allen that easily. This heart... still belongs to him."
Those words, though meant to reassure, somehow caused a strange throb in Alrain's chest.
Arvin then stood up straight, carrying the academy uniform carefully in his arms. The sorrowful expression on his face vanished, replaced by the cold mask of a territorial ruler.
"Enough talk about the past!" Arvin's voice turned firm again. "Just continue your training so you become even stronger. Because before long, we will face a storm."
"A storm?" Alrain repeated, confused.
"I will attack a territory on the eastern border." Arvin answered flatly, as if discussing a dinner menu. "There are people there who dare to claim my territory as theirs. I will destroy them as a warning. Perhaps after that, a great war involving other factions will occur."
Alrain's eyes widened. He never expected his master would take such an extreme decision without hesitation. However, behind the cruelty of the plan, Alrain saw a steely determination that he admired.
Arvin then walked out, leaving his study and leaving Alrain alone inside.
After Duke Arvin left, Alrain still stood frozen in place. He stared at the teak door that had just closed. His mind was in turmoil. War, Allen, regret, and Arvin's ambition mixed together in his head.
However, one thing was certain: he saw deep loneliness in his master's eyes.
Alrain clenched his fists. A new determination grew in his heart, stronger than just a subordinate's oath of loyalty.
"Whatever happens, I must never leave Lord Arvin's side!" Alrain muttered firmly to himself, his voice bouncing off the room's walls. "He is the only person who can help me keep the promise I made to Orvion and Sister Yonna. But more than that... I must be able to free Lord Arvin from that regret! I don't want to see him looking at that empty uniform with such a pathetic gaze again."