The sun rose and set, marking the turning of days into weeks. However, the atmosphere inside the Vedegra family mansion seemed frozen in an eternal winter.
Since the incident in the yard, the ice wall Arvin had built around his heart had grown thicker and impenetrable. However, Alrain was not the type to give up easily. He knew that behind the cold stares and sharp words lay a severely wounded soul, a soul trapped in endless past regrets.
Alrain decided to be the sun for Arvin's frozen heart. He kept trying, attempting every way possible so his master could at least smile a little or break free from Allen's shadow.
Alrain always approached Arvin in between his busy schedule. He acted spoiled, told dry jokes, or even didn't hesitate to act silly by deliberately dropping things just to provoke a reaction.
"Look, My Lord! I tripped over wind again!" Alrain exclaimed one day with a forced laugh.
However, the reaction he got was always the same. A flat stare, a harsh snort, or a back turning away.
"You're noisy, Alrain."
Despite receiving cold treatment and often being rudely kicked out of the room, Alrain remained loyal. He swallowed all the pain whole, hiding it behind the wide smile he put on every time he faced Arvin.
One afternoon, the sky outside the mansion turned reddish-orange. Alrain walked into Arvin's study with a tray of dinner in his hands. He knew Arvin hadn't left the room since the crack of dawn.
"My Lord, let's eat first..." Alrain invited with a gentle tone full of care, placing the tray on the edge of the paper-cluttered desk. "It's getting late, you know. You haven't eaten anything since this morning. You'll get sick later."
Arvin didn't lift his face from the war strategy documents in front of him. The quill in his hand continued to dance rapidly across the paper.
"That's none of your business!" Arvin replied with a startlingly high tone. "I'm still not hungry and I still have a lot of work to finish! Stop bothering me with trivial things."
Alrain didn't give up. He saw his master's gaunt face and the dark circles under his eyes. Anxiety overcame his fear of being scolded.
Alrain picked up the plate containing roast meat that had been cut into small pieces. He stepped closer to the side of Arvin's chair, intending to feed his master so Arvin could keep working while eating.
"Just a little, My Lord. Open your mouth—"
Bam!
Arvin slammed his quill onto the desk. He swiveled his chair, staring at Alrain with sharp, piercing eyes. A thin murderous aura emanated from his body.
Alrain froze. His hand holding the fork trembled in the air. He didn't dare continue his movement and just stood frozen in position, trapped between the desire to care and the fear of rejection.
"Why are you standing there like a fool?" Arvin asked in wonder, his expression as cold as the north pole. "Do I look like a baby who needs to be fed? If you have no important business other than worrying about my stomach, get out of my room! Or I will drag you out of here by force myself!"
The threat was not empty. Alrain could see the veins in Arvin's hands tense, ready to use force to throw him out.
Alrain's heart sank. His good intentions shattered into pieces again against Arvin's defense wall.
"F-Forgive me, My Lord..." Alrain whispered.
He placed the plate slowly on the desk, next to a stack of books, ensuring no clinking sound disturbed the silence. He stepped back a few paces, staring at Arvin's back, which was already busy with his own world again.
"Don't forget to eat when you have time, My Lord..." Alrain said softly, then turned and walked out of the room with heavy steps.
As soon as the door closed behind him, Alrain leaned against the hallway wall. He closed his eyes, enduring the stinging pain spreading in his chest.
I can only accept cold and harsh treatment from him. Alrain complained in his heart. It hurts. Every rejection is like a small cut to the heart. But... this is my risk. This is the consequence for presumptuously falling for my own master.
Alrain sighed deeply, trying to dispel the tightness while walking groggily toward the quiet central room of the mansion. I must not give up. I hope, someday, I don't know when... you will be able to see me, My Lord. See and accept my sincere feelings, not as a replacement for Allen, but as Alrain.
Although their personal relationship was cold and distant, physical and magical training continued incessantly.
In the training field, Arvin was a ruthless instructor. He forged Alrain relentlessly. There was no mercy. Alrain was forced to exceed his physical limits every day, squeezing every drop of mana he possessed until he vomited blood.
"Get up! Your enemy won't wait for you to catch your breath!" Arvin shouted when Alrain collapsed.
The goal was clear: Arvin wanted Alrain to become a perfect weapon. He was preparing Alrain for the large-scale war he would soon ignite.
Receiving such harsh treatment every day, Alrain sometimes felt confused. Does My Lord do this because he cares about my safety, or only because he wants to use me as a tool?
But strangely, amidst the confusion and pain, the loyalty in Alrain's heart grew even larger and rooted deeply.
Besides the naive hope of possessing his master and being bound in a life-and-death contract with him, Alrain also realized that he needed Arvin. He didn't want to lose the only powerful ally who could help him avenge Yonna's death. Arvin was the path to his vengeance, as well as the destination of his heart.
That night, after an exhausting training session, Alrain sat on the edge of his bed, staring at the ceiling of his luxurious room.
The green-haired man was confused by his own feelings. His logic told him to leave, just like what Allen had done to Arvin. However, every time he saw his master's lonely back, his feet wanted to step closer instead.
Good grief... Alrain complained while massaging his temples, unable to believe his own stupidity. Why are my feelings for My Lord so great like this? Even though he is always cold, harsh, and even threatened to kill me. Have I gone crazy?
However, at the end of his complaints, a small smile appeared on his lips. A smile full of understanding. It's okay. Maybe... his anger and harsh attitude are the only way he can interact right now. It is a form of self-defense from someone who has been trapped in loneliness, regret, and deep loss for years. If I leave, who will accompany him in that darkness?