COLD OPEN
EXT. ONIGASHIMA — ROOFTOP RUINS — POST-BATTLE
Kaido lies defeated in a crater that looks like the world got punched in the concept of "up."
Smoke drifts. Dawn light creeps over broken stone.
And there, in the center of it all—
LUFFY (GEAR 5) stands with his shoulders bouncing like he's trying not to laugh at a joke only he can hear.
His hair flares like a living flame. His grin is too big. His eyes are the kind of bright that makes reality nervous.
Around him, the Straw Hats approach in that careful semicircle reserved for unexploded bombs, wild animals, and:
Luffy when he's like this.
NAMI
(arms out, calming voice)
Okay. Kaido's down. Great. Amazing. Love that for us.
So—why aren't you turning back?
Luffy's smile twitches. Widens.
He inhales—
—and the air warps like he's about to do a technique, except it's just a laugh trying to become a weather system.
CHOPPER
(panicked, stethoscope out)
I-I'm checking! I'm checking!
Chopper jams the stethoscope to Luffy's chest.
SFX (FROM LUFFY'S HEART):DOOM… DOOM-DOOM… DOOM…
A rhythm like festival drums.
Then, inexplicably:
SFX:BA-DUM TSSS!
Chopper freezes.
CHOPPER
His heartbeat is still doing the… the drums thing!
A faint, distant LAUGH TRACK ripples through the air, like ghosts watching from behind glass.
ZORO
(squinting into nowhere)
…Why do I hear a studio audience?
USOPP
YOU HEAR IT TOO?!
ROBIN
(calm, a little concerned)
That form seems… contagious.
Like laughter you can't stop.
Luffy's shoulders start shaking harder.
He clamps a hand over his mouth like a kid trying not to laugh in class—
—and it immediately fails.
LUFFY
HHH—HAAAA—!
The laugh detonates out of him.
The sound physically hits the ground.
SFX (ON IMPACT):"HAHAHA!"
The word appears in midair like a comic bubble and slams into a broken pillar, shattering it.
NAMI
WHAT?!
Another bubble pops into existence.
SFX:"BOIOIOING!"
It bounces off Sanji's face like a dodgeball.
SANJI
(barely keeping composure)
NAMI-SWAAAAN—
(whiplash)
WHY IS THE LAUGH SOLID?!
Luffy's laugh grows. Deepens. Becomes a wind.
It pushes everyone back—hair and clothes whipping like they're standing in front of a ship's cannon.
FRANKY
(bracing, teeth grit)
This is NOT… SUUUPERRR… safe!!
JIMBE
(planting his feet)
Straw Hat! Focus yourself!
Luffy doubles over, tears streaming.
The tears are not normal tears.
They hit the stone like cannonballs.
SPLASH!CRATER!
CHOPPER
Those are— those are weaponized emotions!!
USOPP
THAT'S THE SCARIEST KIND!!
Luffy straightens, still laughing, eyes wide with that gleeful, haunted-toy energy Gear 5 gives him.
He begins bouncing in place.
Not a normal bounce—more like the world beneath him is rubber and he's discovering it for the first time.
LUFFY
(gasping between laughs)
Gomu… gomu...
NAMI
No. Nope. Absolutely not.
LUFFY—STOP!
Usopp throws a rope. It whips around Luffy's waist—
—and instantly turns into a party streamer with a little horn at the end.
SFX:TOOT-TOOT!
USOPP
WHY DID IT GET FUNNIER?!
ROBIN
Because he's bending the language of the world.
SANJI
I DON'T WANT THE WORLD TO BE FUNNY RIGHT NOW!
Luffy's belly laugh swells again—so loud the clouds above ripple like they're a pond being flicked.
A tiny, disembodied voice suddenly crackles into existence from nowhere, sounding like a 1940s radio announcer who's been haunting cartoons for a century.
TINY ANNOUNCER VOICE (V.O.)
And now, folks… we have liftoff!
Everyone snaps their heads around.
ZORO
Where's that coming from.
BROOK
Yohoho—! I don't like invisible voices!
I don't have ears, but I'm hearing it anyway! SKULL JOKE!
The air in front of Luffy shimmer-glitches—
like someone is trying to tune a channel.
Luffy's grin grows dangerous.
He pulls his arms back like he's winding up for something enormous.
LUFFY
GOMU GOMU...
His body compresses like a spring being loaded by a god with a sense of humor.
NAMI
(terror)
NO NO NO NO—
A new sound appears above them. Not from anywhere physical.
A NASA-style countdown, sterile and absurd against the ruined battlefield.
SFX (V.O., CLINICAL):
Three…
The Straw Hats look at each other like: did you hear that??
SFX (V.O.):
Two…
CHOPPER
I hate this! I hate this so much!
SFX (V.O.):
One…
NAMI
LUFFY STOP!!
LUFFY
ROCKET!!!
SFX:CHK-CHK!(WE HAVE LIFTOFF!)
Luffy shoots upward like a human cannonball, leaving behind a spiral of smoke that looks suspiciously like it was drawn with a brush.
A star-shaped glint flashes.
SFX:SCHINK!
He vanishes.
Not "flies away." Not "goes over the horizon."
He's just—gone—like someone erased the frame he was in.
Silence slams down.
Everyone stands frozen in the most traditional anime shock pose imaginable:
Mouths open. Eyes wide. A collective, horrified blink.
A single "…" speech bubble drifts across the screen and pops.
USOPP
(whisper)
…Did Luffy just get… edited out of reality?
ROBIN
(smiling faintly, unsettled)
It appears he changed channels.
ZORO
…So where do we go to get him back.
SANJI
Wherever it is, I'm kicking that announcer in the throat.
A beat.
A stray sparkle twinkles in the sky where Luffy disappeared, like the universe winking at the audience.
SMASH CUT TO BLACK.
TITLE CARD:
TOON PHYSICS TITANS! PIRATES IN LA!