The morning of departure arrived, my bones and body still sore but bearable, thank the gods for healers. The fire crackles softly on this fine morning, golden light shining through the canopy. The difference between last night is shocking, the warmth that lights my skin and the cool air making its way through the camp is certainly a lot better than waking up to that creature, mouth around my head.
No one speaks to me immediately, no one notices me hobbling out of my tent, hand keeping the scars reopening. Rell lingers nearby, close enough that he could pretend he was polishing his dagger, rather than keeping watch on me. It scares me a little, is he keeping watch in case someone harms me, or in case my shadows harm someone else? It's not like I can control how they work. It might not even be me.
Seras sits across the clearing, knees locked into her chest. Her gaze is uninterested, that is until someone walks by me and my tent, her eyes shift and track them. At least I know she's looking out for me. I hobble on towards Lira, who is sitting with her journal open again. She stares at the dirt, the events of encountering the creature still fresh on her mind, not that i expect her to be over it already, the situation was horrifying.
''I'm sorry, Lira. For Ellis. She didn't deserve to die, especially to save me. If I could swap her fate and my own, I would.'' I say, sincerely.
''It's not your fault. You didn't ask to be so… helpless. None of us were ready for that thing.'' she snaps back at me.
''Exactly. If I wasn't weak or useless this wouldn't have happened, once again Lira I am truly sorry.'' I replied back as I hung my head in shame.
''No Veyrin, that's not what I mea…'' Her words stalled in her throat, but whatever she was going to say next was cut off by Lucien, who has stopped pacing back and forth and made his way over to me. Rell darts over along with Seras to stand by my side. I expect Thorne to stand behind me but he stands on Lucien's side. His head is looking down, hands bawled up into fists and a face that expresses his feelings are in turmoil.
''You should explain yourself to us, worm. Explain it to all of us!'' Lucien says. His voice was steady, only because he forced it to be.
''Explain… what?'' I replied.
''Your disappearance.'' His jaw twitches. ''You were gone for a day or more. When we finally found you, the creature was guarding you, it saved you from that Nightmaw. Why? Why did it attack us and kill those who are now ashes in the wind? You claim you remember nothing. I claim bullshit.'' He finishes.
''Guarding me?'' I replied. ''It would have killed me if you had not turned up. I. Don't. Know. What. Happened''
Lucien laughs quietly under his breath, it wasn't amusement. It was disbelief. He leans in closer to me, lowering his voice but keeping that sharp prideful tone. ''Everything in the forest seemed to move for you, Athea followed your grunt like a command. The path only opened itself to us only after we heard you. The monsters were attracted to you, and you want us to believe you don't know why?''
Seras steps forward in between us, hoping to get to Lucien but Instructor Athea's voice booms out from across the camp.
''Solbrax.'' A single word, heavy enough to stop him.
Lucien kept his eyes on me, not her, hate simmering under his skin. But maybe it wasn't hate. Maybe it was fear . Fear that carried him past the truth and left him clinging to the wrong conclusion. ''No.'' He barks back. I open my mouth to speak but he cuts me off.
''When we reached you, I told the creature to get off you. I still don't understand why I would even say something like that. You slow us down. You need help. You make everything worse. But the words flew out of my mouth like something forced them out.''
Rell interjects. '' So, you are blaming Veyrin… For something that came out of your own mouth?''
Lucien's focus on me snaps, focusing now on Rell with a glare sharp enough to cut skin. ''I'm just saying nothing feels natural with him around, nothing makes sense.''
Instructor Athea crosses the clearing to our stand off, her stride controlled and purposeful. ''You are finished. Not another word out of you Mr Solbrax, keep pushing and you can spend the rest of the summer scrubbing the sparring chamber with a small brush and only your spit.''
Lucien's lips press together tightly until they go white, he took a step back and then another. His hands trembled. He hated being afraid as much as he hated being wrong, and right now he was both. He turned away before anyone else could see more. The Instructor didn't say anything else, she headed back to her original task.
The tension dies down and I struggle to walk over to Orien to help, hobbling past Marrek who seems to be annoying Kaelin and a healer, mixing herbs over a pot by the fire.
Every moment trying to lift crates or even scraps of parchment made my stomach and injuries throb, Orien makes me sit, despite me saying that I'm feeling fine. He crouches beside me, the lines on his eyes deeper than usual.
''Tell me what you can conjure from your memories, not for them. For me. Start with the pieces. ''He asks bluntly.
I tell him about the ruins I happen to come across, the damage, the smoke and the feeling. It's like it was waiting for me to find it. I told him about the vision. The blue flicked flames, the halls and the arguments that bounced from wall to wall. I described the young woman who spoke and conjured both Light and darkness. The man beside her, Taell. Who commanded the room through presence alone. The Eclipse, the truth and the name. Fàolán.
Orien went silent and still, he didn't write or even blink for several seconds. The weight of the silence pressing against my skin, his eyes closed once, just briefly and then opened them with something softer inside them.
''That is an old name, an ancient name. Perhaps older than this forest.'' He says, stroking his grayed beard.
I ask him if the name means anything. ''To me, no but to yourself… Perhaps, not yet.'' his voice low.
A knot forms tight and hot behind my sternum. ''Do you think I'm dangerous?'' I ask.
Orien exhales, exhaustion showing on his face once more. ''I think you are overwhelmed my boy, and I think you are terrified of what you do not yet understand. That alone is enough to separate you from a monster.'' His gaze flicked briefly back towards the forest. ''Danger is not always a choice, but what you do with it is.''
He places a hand gently onto my shoulder, his face wears a loving smile. ''Whatever is trying to reach you, I'm not letting it reach alone.'' The words lodge into my chest like an anchor, keeping me here in this moment with him. For a moment, the sensation made the pain feel bearable.
As the torches are unlit, the tents and bedrolls packed away and my heart a little lighter. We are almost ready to journey back to Crownspire, back to our home. The healers changed my bandages once more and applied more energy from their Sloth Lightscar to keep me numbed from the pain.
I look at Thorne who walks past me checking his things, he looks down and ignores me. He won't even meet my eyes. It hits harder than any wound the Nightmaw gave me. I thought he was my friend. I look to Seras and Rell who also finish with their things. Seras smiles from ear to ear while Rell jumps up and down waving, like we haven't seen each other in an age. At least I have those two.