The healers released me on a quiet afternoon, the kind where even the dust seems unsure how to settle. Two weeks of careful hands and bitter herbs. Being told to lie down when all I wanted to do was stand has finally ended, my ribs no longer scream at me when I breathe and my head feels clearer. My legs held my weight again and I felt closer to myself again, even if not entirely.
I expected the walk back to my chamber to feel like stepping into something familiar, I expected relief and I expected calm. Instead, the moment I stepped back into the academy hallway, the air changed instantly.
Conversations dimmed to murmurs without stopping, it wasn't a polite silence but the kind that spreads when someone unpleasant walks into a room. A group from pride huddled near the railing froze mid laugh. One nudging another with his elbow then whispering into his sleeve. Their eyes followed me with something close to dread.
A girl from gluttony pauses at the base of the stairs, with a stack of books in her arms. When she looked upon me her posture tightened. Her fingers dug into the spines so hard that the leather bent. She shifted out of my path without a word, her gaze never lifted up from the floor.
The whispers thicken as I walk, words float and eyes open with horror.
''That's him.''
''The one who vanished.''
''Lucien said he came back wrong.''
''I heard people died because of him.''
Each step felt heavier than the last, the hallway stretched unnaturally long in front of me. I keep my eyes straight and jaw tight, shoulders tense. If I looked at any of them, I fear I may stop walking altogether.
As I pass another group towards the scholars wing, a boy quickly steps aside. His movement was so sudden he almost trips on his own foot. His friends grabbed his arm steadying him so he could not be near me.
''Don't touch him, just move and he won't eat you'' His friend whispered.
My heart crawled higher into my throat, my hands curled at my sides and nails pressed against my palms. I try to breathe steadily, try to keep walking and not give them anything else to look at. I keep walking, the corridor curves and once I reach the end, another corridor appears. I seem to have lost my way, I try to focus on fMILIr cracks in the wall and areas I know I have been beaten for being inferior to the rest of the people here.
Behind me footsteps echo sharply.
''Veyrin, there you are. I was just coming to see you.'' Rell's voice carried down the hall, warm and too loud for the quiet surrounding it.
I paused, the sound of his boots softened as he jogged to catch up, no hesitation in the way he called my name again.
''Veyrin, slow down.''
I kept walking, he reached me before I could increase my pace, his breath was slightly hitched from running but he still managed to sound like he had run for the fun of it.
''You are out.'' He says, relief spilling from every word. ''Finally, and you still look terrible. Which means you look normal which is reassuring.''
I did not answer, he was quiet for a moment, trying to match my stride. Then he spoke again.
''I brought you bread a couple of days ago, while you were sleeping. But I left it anyway, in case they were feeding you shit. You must have never eaten it. That's fine, I understand. Brad is offensive sometimes. I brought the crusted one the next day though, that one is less threatening.''
Rell falls silent watching me more closely, his eyebrow raised and he tries again once more.
''You are not even pretending to listen, which means something is wrong.''
I swallowed hard, my throat felt tight and raw.
His voice softens as he looks at me. ''Veyrin, please. Look at me.''
I almost did, I wanted to, but the thought of turning towards him felt like stepping off a cliff. If I saw the concern on his face, if l let myself stop for even a second, I knew everything I barely held together would come undone.
I kept walking, keeping my head forward. I can't look at him. I will not.
Rell stops moving and lets out a breath, one I heard from several steps ahead.
''Please, Veyrin.'' He says quietly. ''Don't shut me out. Please.''
My feet slowed, but only for a heartbeat. I reached my chamber door and pushed it open before he caught up to me again. The hinges creaked softly, I stepped inside and shut the door behind me. Leaning my back against the door as I closed my eyes.
On the other side, I heard Rell's palm press against the door, not hard or angry. Just there.
''Just talk to me, you don't have to say much but just let me know you're there, let me help. Let Seras help. All my life people were friends with me because of my name, they hated my jokes and talked behind my back. Then I found you and Seras. Please Veyrin, let me in'' he says.
The ache behind my ribs grew sharp. I bit the inside of my cheek to steady my breath, but I didn't answer. Eventually his hand slips away, his footsteps receding and fading down the corridor. Silence has taken his place.
My room felt colder than I remember, dust drifted lazily through the thin strip of light coming through the window. My books were stacked neatly on my desk. My cloak hung over the back of the chair and the water in the basin has been replaced with clean water.
Maybe I should have stayed unseen, keeping my head low and speaking when spoken to, not acting like something inside me was of worth. Scarless are not meant to draw attention, we are meant to fade into the background. To exist quietly and safely. No one needed to save invisible people, no one died because of them.
I sat on the end of my bed and let the quiet sink in all around me. My fingers curled loosely around my knees and the weight of the forest lingered in my chest like smoke.
A knock on my door broke the stillness, I wonder if Rell went to go get Seras, to talk some sense into me.
I didn't respond, the door opened anyway.
Three figures entered and the room seemed to shrink around them.
Instructor Athea stepped in first, posture rigid and eyes sharp and unreadable. Orien followed behind her. A smile formed on his face, but his eyes betrayed him. He looks saddened, and lastly Aldros Veyth enters. His presence fills the doorway in a way that makes my breathing slow without reason. His cloak donned the sigils of the cradle. Seven crowns and symbols, a quiet reminder of authority and judgement.
They stood in a line before me, none of them spoke immediately. The silence grew thick.
Instructor Athea addresses me first.
''Veyrin, we are here to escort you.''
My stomach tightens.
''Escort me? To where?'' I replied.
Aldros Veyth answers, his tone calm in a way that made it feel colder. ''The the inner halls of the academy, you are required for questioning.''
The air in the room went thin, Instructor Athea's gaze did not waver, Orien looked at the floor for a moment before meeting my eyes.
Orien steps closer, lowering his voice. ''Veyrin, listen carefully. Say only what you remember. Do not fill the spaces between. Do not try to reason what you cannot explain. Speak plainly and this will pass.''
My heartbeat thudded faster, heavy and uneven. Instructor Athea moves to the side, leaving a place for me to stand.
''Gather yourself, we will move shortly.'' She says.
They waited as I rose slowly, feeling the weight of every breath. The room seems to shrink with each passing moment. Whatever waited for me, I knew with absolute certainty that nothing about this would simply pass.