Infinity and Death were not happy.
Ever since Roy returned to Asgard with seven stunning cosmic-enhanced beauties—Grayfia, Velzard, Velgrynd, Scáthach, Amora, Sif, and Lorelei—the abstract embodiments of Infinity and Death had been watching from the Void.
Watching their "favorite little Primordial Shadow Dragon" being smothered by attention.
And they did not like it.
Infinity cracked space around her in irritation.
Death sighed dramatically in her throne of oblivion.
Both muttered the same thing:
"Who do these mortals think they are…?"
But before either could act, Roy accidentally ripped open a dimensional tear while testing his Dimensional Authority.
And fell straight into Niflheim.
A Worn-Out Goddess and an Annoyed Shadow Monarch
Roy blinked as he stood in an endless wasteland of cold shadows and decaying energy.
"...Okay. Definitely messed up the coordinates."
Before he could look around, a worn but stunning woman in tattered armor appeared, glaring daggers at him.
"Did Odin send you here?" she demanded.
Roy stared at her blankly.
"Do you really think Odin has nothing better to do than throw people into random frozen realms?"
Her eye twitched.
Roy sighed dramatically.
"I was experimenting with magic and took a wrong turn. Happens. Don't give me that look."
The woman stared at him like he just said the sky was green.
And then, imperiously:
"Kneel before me."
Roy blinked.
"For what?"
"I said kneel."
Roy narrowed his eyes.
"…Are you an idiot?"
Hela froze.
Roy added, deadpan:
"You're acting like a third-rate chuunibyo. Fourth grade syndrome. Believing you're some supreme being and everyone else is trash."
Hela's jaw dropped.
"WHAT—what is a fourth grade syndrome?!"
"A polite way to call someone a delusional moron."
Her face turned red with rage.
And then she attacked.
The Fight That Wasn't a Fight
Spears of necrotic energy flew.
Blades of death tore through space.
The ground shattered.
Roy… walked around all of it.
Casually.
Bored.
She exhausted herself in less than five minutes.
Roy snapped his fingers.
A table and two chairs formed.
He sat down.
"Stop acting stupid and sit."
Hela—furious, confused, and tired—sat.
Roy introduced himself calmly.
"Roy Odinson. Adopted. Less dramatic than you think."
She blinked.
"You're Odin's… child?"
"Adopted," he corrected. "Very important distinction."
She nodded slowly.
Then unloaded centuries of frustration:
How she fought Odin's wars.
How she expanded Asgard's empire.
How Odin locked her away.
How she wanted revenge.
Then she ended with:
"Join me. Help me conquer Asgard. I will become Queen."
Roy raised a hand.
"And then what?"
Hela opened her mouth.
Then closed it.
Then opened.
Then closed.
Roy sighed.
"So… no plan?"
She blushed—blushed—slightly.
"I… I will conquer more realms?"
"For what? Tax paperwork? Scheduling invasions?" Roy asked. "Sounds miserable."
She went silent.
Roy flicked her forehead.
"OW! What was that for?!"
"For being a hopeless character who only knows how to kill things."
She glared, but couldn't refute it.
Roy leaned forward.
"When's the last time you saw something NOT black or dead?"
Hela froze.
"And when," Roy continued, pinching his nose, "was the last time you took a bath?"
Hela turned crimson from head to toe.
"W-WHAT—"
Roy snapped.
The entire realm transformed.
A lake of crystal water.
Pink sakura trees.
Sunlight over mountains.
Warm air.
A breeze carrying the scent of life.
Hela stared, speechless.
"This," Roy said, "is better than your edgy death aesthetic."
Then he conjured a feast—Teyvat delicacies, Chinese dishes—and handed her chopsticks.
"What… is this?" Hela asked.
"Food. Something people eat. Try it."
She tasted it.
Her eyes widened.
When was the last time she had real food?
She didn't remember.
Roy told her stories—the pranks he and Loki pulled on Thor.
Hela laughed for the first time in ages.
After the meal, Roy stood.
"Now go take a proper bath."
Hela sputtered.
"W-WHAT IS THAT SUPPOSED TO—"
But Roy was already leaving.
She watched him disappear.
Then hesitated.
Then sniffed herself.
…He was right.
She was very stinky.
Grumbling, she used magic to bathe, clean herself, and form new clothes.
When she saw her reflection in the lake—clean, beautiful, unburdened—she didn't recognize herself.
In the Void… Two Cosmic Girls Watching
Infinity crossed her arms.
"…Who is this woman smiling at our Roy?"
Death narrowed her eyes.
"…Should we kill her?"
Infinity: "Tempting."
Death: "Extremely."
Both:
"This is unacceptable."