The Malibu sun burned gold across the ocean as Tony Stark walked toward Roy's villa, sunglasses on, coffee in hand, hangover at 40%.
JARVIS had notified him that Roy was "back from his long vacation."
Tony didn't believe that.
Roy's "vacations" were always suspiciously vague.
He had the vibe of a billionaire spy mixed with a monk who somehow beat casinos without counting cards.
Tony knocked—
Roy opened the door.
And Tony froze.
Behind Roy… stood ten women.
Not normal women.
Stunning. Terrifyingly stunning. Goddess-level stunning.
Every single one of them looked like they had stepped out of a fantasy novel, a myth, or a fashion photoshoot done by the heavens.
Tony's jaw dropped.
Grayfia calmly sipped tea.
Velgrynd and Velzard radiated draconic intimidation.
Scáthach studied him like prey.
Sif and Amora exchanged a smug smirk.
Lorelei smiled sweetly.
Infinity and Death… simply existed, overwhelming.
Hela leaned against the wall, arms crossed, eyes sharp.
Tony pointed at them.
Then at Roy.
Then at them again.
Tony:
"…Roy… buddy… we need to talk."
Roy raised an eyebrow.
"What's the problem?"
Tony marched inside dramatically.
Tony:
"The problem is that you—YOU—somehow assembled the Avengers of Beauty!
No, scratch that—this is a whole pantheon!
What—HOW—WHY—?!"
Grayfia chuckled.
Velzard enjoyed the panic.
Infinity blinked, intrigued by the noisy mortal.
Roy sighed.
Roy:
"Tony. Calm down."
Tony grabbed Roy by the shoulders.
Tony:
"Tell me the truth! Did you save the universe? Did you invent something?
Did you mind-control them? Did you win a multiversal lottery?
Roy. My brother. My man. My neighbor. Teach me your ways."
Roy looked completely done with him.
Roy:
"…I cooked."
Silence.
All ten girls nodded.
Tony blinked.
Once.
Twice.
Tony:
"You cooked."
Roy:
"Yes."
Tony:
"That's your answer?"
Roy:
"Yes."
Tony stared at the girls again.
At Roy.
Back at the girls.
Tony:
"…Prove it."
Roy grinned.
◆ The Breakfast Test
Roy moved to the kitchen.
The girls took seats as if preparing for a show.
Tony sat with arms folded, skeptical.
Roy cracked his knuckles.
Mexican cuisine:
Chilaquiles verdes Breakfast tacos Spicy chorizo with eggs Fresh tortillas
Chinese cuisine:
Xiao long bao Fried rice Dim sum Jianbing
Within minutes, insane aromas filled the villa.
Even Infinity and Death leaned closer.
Tony swallowed.
Tony:
"Okay, that smells illegal."
Roy placed a full spread on the table.
Tony took a taco.
Took a bite.
And froze.
Then he tried the xiao long bao.
And froze again.
Then the jianbing.
His eyes widened dramatically.
Tony Stark—genius billionaire—looked betrayed.
Tony:
"…Okay.
Okay. I get it."
He pointed a finger at Roy.
Tony:
"You didn't seduce them.
You didn't charm them.
You bribed them with FOOD!
Roy, you magnificent bastard!"
The girls nodded proudly.
Velgrynd spoke first.
Velgrynd:
"His cooking is unmatched."
Grayfia added,
"His food is a gift."
Scáthach smirked,
"It can conquer warriors."
Infinity simply whispered:
"…delicious."
Death nodded.
Hela shrugged,
"It beats eternal prison meals."
Tony threw his hands in the air.
Tony:
"I KNEW IT!
I knew no one was that handsome!
It was the food! It's always the food!"
Roy rolled his eyes.
Roy:
"So you accept my explanation?"
Tony stuffed another dumpling into his mouth.
Tony:
"Yes. Absolutely.
Roy, your cooking is a superpower.
And I'm officially afraid of you now."
The ten girls exchanged amused smiles.
Tony then pointed at them again.
Tony:
"Ladies, welcome to Earth's strangest neighborhood.
Please don't blow up my house."
Hela smirked.
"No promises."
Tony choked.
Roy sighed again.
This was how the day began.