The explosion wasn't just loud; it was rude.
It blew the hat right off Boss Pang's head.
"My hat!" the merchant shrieked, scrambling after the silk cap as it tumbled down the cobblestones. "That was imported!"
"Forget the hat, Pang," Jiang Fan sighed, shielding his eyes from the dust. "If we miss the 4:00 PM airship, I have to wait another hour. And the chairs in the terminal are terrible for my lumbar support."
Down the main street of Sky City, a sea of crimson armor was parting the crowd. Leading the charge was an old man who looked like he had swallowed a volcano. His beard was literally on fire.
[ System Alert: Enemy Detected. ] [ Target: Elder Zhao (Bloodfire Sect). ] [ Cultivation: Stage 6 (Late Stage). ] [ Mood: Homicidal. ] [ Reason: You threw his son into a noodle shop. ]
"THERE THEY ARE!" Elder Zhao roared, pointing a finger that shook with rage. "The Cripple! The Maid! And the... the one who looks asleep!"
"He remembers us," Gu Ling noted, her chair hovering higher for a better vantage point. "That's sweet."
"Kill them!" Elder Zhao commanded. "Bring me their heads! Especially the maid! She ruined my son's nose!"
Fifty disciples charged. They screamed battle cries, waving flaming swords.
Jiang Fan looked at his team.
"Okay, plan A," Jiang Fan said. "We run to the docks. I don't want to fight fifty people. It's humid today; I'll chafe."
"Plan A is acceptable," Yun Xi nodded. She adjusted her grip on the twenty shopping bags. "But they are blocking the path."
"Then clear it," Jiang Fan yawned. "Su Qing, cover fire. Yun Xi, bulldozing duty. Gu Ling, watch our backs. Snack... stay asleep."
The Void-Eater kitten in his pocket snored in agreement.
THE SCENT OF CHAOS
"Bloodfire Formation!" the disciples shouted, linking their Qi to form a massive net of fire.
Su Qing stepped forward. She took a deep breath through her nose, analyzing the air currents.
"Too much sulfur," she whispered softly. "It lacks... whimsy."
She reached into her pouch and pulled out three small, pink spheres. They looked like candy.
"Fragrance Grenade: 'The Skunk's Regret'," she announced politely.
She flicked her wrist. The spheres sailed through the air, landing right in the middle of the charging disciples.
POOF.
No explosion. No fire. Just a sudden, expanding cloud of neon green gas.
The lead disciple ran into it. He froze. His eyes watered. His face turned green.
"AUGHHH!" he gagged, dropping his sword. "IT TASTES LIKE ROTTING ONIONS AND DESPAIR!"
"MY EYES! I CAN SMELL COLORS!"
The formation collapsed instantly. Fifty hardened warriors fell to their knees, dry-heaving violently.
"Effective," Gu Ling commented, holding a handkerchief to her nose. "Chemical warfare. I approve."
"Now, Yun Xi!" Jiang Fan pointed.
Yun Xi didn't drop the bags. She refused to drop the bags. They contained expensive herbs and Jiang Fan's new pillow.
"Out of my way," she growled.
She charged.
To the onlookers, it looked like a runaway freight train dressed in lace.
A disciple tried to stand up. "Stop her—"
WHACK.
Yun Xi spun. She used a heavy bag filled with Spirit-Iron Ore (which she was carrying like it was a bag of cotton) as a flail.
The bag slammed into the disciple's helmet. He flew sideways into a fruit stand.
"Excuse me," Yun Xi said coldly, shoulder-checking a Stage 4 cultivator so hard he bounced off a wall. "Passing through. No loitering."
She was a whirlwind of black and white fabric. She kicked, spun, and slapped her way through the green fog, clearing a path wide enough for Gu Ling's chair and Jiang Fan's leisurely stroll.
"Left side, Yun Xi," Jiang Fan called out, stepping over a vomiting enemy. "Watch the eggs. Do not break the eggs."
"If you mention the eggs one more time," Yun Xi panted, kneeing a man in the chest, "I will make you an omelet out of your own teeth."
"Domestic goddess energy," Jiang Fan nodded approvingly. "Keep it up."
THE ELDER INTERVENES
They were only a hundred meters from the docks. The massive Sky-Whale Airship was idling at the pier, its engines humming.
"We made it!" Boss Pang cheered, clutching his retrieved hat.
BOOM.
A wall of fire erupted in front of them, melting the cobblestones instantly.
Elder Zhao landed in the flames, unhurt. His aura was terrifying. The heat wave blew Boss Pang backward.
"You think a bad smell and a strong woman can stop me?" Elder Zhao snarled. His skin was turning red, steam rising from his pores. "I am a Stage 6 Elder! I will burn you all to ash!"
He raised his hands. A massive fireball, the size of a carriage, formed above his head.
"Sun-Killer Flame!"
The heat was intense. Yun Xi stepped back, shielding the bags. Her physique blocked physical damage, but extreme elemental heat could still burn her clothes and the goods.
"My herbs!" Su Qing gasped, covering her nose. "The heat is drying them out!"
"My heat sensors are redlining," Gu Ling warned. "Jiang Fan, I can't block that. It's too big."
Jiang Fan stopped walking. He sighed. A deep, soulful sigh that spoke of a man who just wanted to be in his pajamas.
"You people," Jiang Fan muttered. "Always with the fire. It's so unoriginal."
He walked past Yun Xi. He walked past Gu Ling. He stood five feet from the raging Elder.
"Boy!" Elder Zhao laughed maniacally. "Are you coming to beg? It's too late! Die!"
He threw the massive fireball.
It roared toward Jiang Fan like a meteor.
Jiang Fan didn't pull out his fan. He reached into his inventory and pulled out... the Heavenly Dao Token.
The coin he had supposedly spent.
( Wait, didn't he convert it? No. He converted one token. He looted three from the Ancestor. He just didn't tell Boss Pang because he didn't want the fat man to have a heart attack.)
"System," Jiang Fan whispered. "Item Interaction: Rich Man's Shield."
He flicked the token into the air.
The token was made of condensed ancient Qi. It was incredibly dense.
As the fireball hit the coin, something strange happened. The coin didn't melt. It absorbed the Qi.
ZOOP.
The massive fireball was sucked into the tiny coin like water down a drain.
Elder Zhao froze. His hands were still raised in the throwing position, but he was holding nothing.
"Where... where is my fire?"
Jiang Fan caught the coin. It was glowing hot now.
"Money solves all problems," Jiang Fan said deadpan. "Even thermodynamics."
He tossed the hot coin up and down.
"You know, Elder Zhao. This coin is worth 100 million spirit stones. Do you know what happens when 100 million spirit stones impact a human face at high velocity?"
Elder Zhao blinked. "What?"
"System. Calculate trajectory. Activate: Railgun Throw."
Jiang Fan flicked his wrist.
He didn't throw it hard. He just let the System apply the force.
BANG.
The sound barrier broke.
The coin became a streak of rainbow light.
It hit Elder Zhao right in the forehead.
There was no blood. There was just a sudden, violent transfer of kinetic energy.
Elder Zhao flew backward. He didn't just fly; he launched. He shot out of the city gates, over the docks, and sailed majestically into the cloud layer below the floating city.
A twinkle appeared in the distance, like a star.
Ding.
Jiang Fan held out his hand. The coin, governed by the system's "Loot Retrieval" passive, vanished from the distance and reappeared in his palm.
He blew on it to cool it down.
"Keep the change," Jiang Fan muttered.
THE DEPARTURE
The alley was silent again, save for the groans of the nausea-stricken disciples.
Boss Pang was staring at the sky where the Elder had vanished. His jaw was unhinged.
"Did you... did you just kill an Elder with money?"
"I didn't kill him," Jiang Fan pocketed the coin. "I just invested him in a new location. Come on. The ship is boarding."
They walked up the ramp of the Sky-Whale Airship just as the crew began to detach the moorings.
Jiang Fan found the most expensive suite on the ship—the "Emperor's Cabin"—and kicked the door open.
It had a king-sized bed with silk sheets.
"Mine," Jiang Fan declared, diving onto it.
Yun Xi marched in behind him and dumped the twenty bags on the floor. She looked exhausted, her maid outfit slightly singed, her hair a mess.
"I need a bath," she announced. "And if you ask me to peel a grape, I will feed it to you via your nose."
"Bath is through that door," Jiang Fan mumbled into the pillow. "Su Qing, check the herbs. Gu Ling, hack the ship's kitchen and order us dinner."
Su Qing sat cross-legged on the rug, sniffing her bags to ensure the Phoenix Tears hadn't spoiled. "The heat actually toasted the Star-Dust slightly. It smells like caramel now. I can work with this."
Gu Ling parked her chair by the window, watching Sky City shrink in the distance.
"We just assaulted a major sect," Gu Ling noted calmly. "They will send fleets after us."
"Let them come," Jiang Fan rolled over, hugging his pillow. "We have a flying fortress now."
He reached into his pocket and pulled out Snack. The kitten yawned, burped a tiny fireball (Elder Zhao's leftovers), and curled up on Jiang Fan's head.
Jiang Fan closed his eyes, a peaceful smile on his face.
"Wake me up when we get to the Sect. I plan to sleep for three days straight."
[ System Notification ] [ Arc Complete: The Sky City Heist ] [ Rewards: ]
Party Reputation: Infamous.
Wealth: Obscene.
Maid Loyalty: +5 (She liked hitting people).
Jiang Fan drifted off to sleep, dreaming of absolutely nothing.