Luka left, and I jumped in the shower once Jess was out of it. It felt so good to be able to wash away the day. It was all very strange. From what my mother said to that strange boy? Man? At the mall. I was trying to think about anything but the fact in about an hour I was going to be in a house alone with a man… And not just any man. A man I had really strong feelings about, even though I shouldn't. There I go thinking about him. I finish up in the shower and is drying off. I hear a Knock at the door. Strange, Luka shouldn't be back for another 15 minutes. I hear Jess call out that she was going to answer it. I quickly get dressed in a comfy pair of PJs pants and a graphic T with a cute little fox on it.
"Hey Dani? Can you come here? You have a visitor?" Jess called out to me. She sounded confused. I wondered who was here that would warrant that kind of reaction.
"Yup! Give me a sec," I call out quickly, brushing my wet hair out. I quickly make my way out of my room and go to the front door. Jess was standing, making a weird face. I saw who was there, and it shocked me. After being avoided, he was here? And he looked awful.
"Jordan? What are you doing here?" I asked. He looked awful. He almost didn't look like him self.
"Dani can we talk?" He looked so worn and defeated. He also wreaked of booze. I had to try hard to not pinch my nose in disgust. I didn't want to upset him more than he already was.
"Are you alright, Dani?" Jess asked me. She appeared hesitant about Jordan's condition, especially since she knew how he had treated me in the days following my hospital stay.
"WHY WOULDN'T SHE BE?" Jordan Yelled at Jess. I flinched. I was not used to seeing him like this. Something was wrong.
"Jordan. You came to talk to me at Jess's house. If you want to talk, you need to respect my friend." I did not like him mistreating her. She only asked because she was concerned.
"Sorry…" Jordan slurred out. Jess gave me a look that said she didn't believe it, but she wasn't going to push.
"Dani, I will just be in my room while I finish getting ready. Shout if you need anything." Jess tells me. She walks away, texting on her phone. I wonder what that is about? I hope she is not canceling her babysitting job.
So, Jordan, why don't we sit and drink some water so you can tell me what you came by for?" I asked trying to lead him into the living room to sit.
"Danni, Why?" Jordan looks at me.
"Why what?" I asked him, confused. Jordan didn't sit. He started to pace back in forth. I sat watching him. Waiting for him to tell me. Something was going on. He was mumbling to himself like he was trying to get the words out. Watching him pace so aggressively. It made me think he looked like an animal strapped in a cage.
After a few minutes of just watching him pace angrily about, I decided to gently ask why he was here.
"Hey, I am sorry I haven't been there for you. I have been dealing with a lot. But I am here for you, whatever you're going through right now, Jordan." Maybe he wasn't telling me because he thought I wasn't there for him anymore. I hoped me telling him I was here would help.
"If you're there for me. Danni WHY THE FUCK DIDN'T YOU SAY SOMETHING?" Jordan starts yelling at me. I shrink back. What the hell was he getting at? I racked my brain as he glared down at me. Almost nose to nose. All I could smell was whiskey. It made me sick. The only thing I could think of was the fact that I told him about Chad. Was he mad I didn't tell him sooner? Was that what this was all about? I thought he understood? Hurt pricked at my eyes, welling up tears. I didn't care that he saw me crying. This was not okay.
"Really? Why would I tell you? There was nothing you could do about it. It was in the past." He was so sweet and caring when I told him. Why was he so angry about it now?
"I COULD HAVE DONE SOMETHING." Hurt shown in his eyes but anger still clouded them.
"There is nothing you can do about it. What done is done. Being angry now is not going to change."
"ALL I AM IS ANGRY ABOUT IT!!" Jordan yelled, as he grabbed my arms. Shaking me a bit, trying to prove a point I did not understand.
"Jordan, let me go. You are hurting me." I looked at him. If he didn't let me go, I was going to have bruises.
"WHY HIM?!" Jordan Ignored my pleas.
"JORDAN LET GO!" I yelled.
Jordan Looked down at my arms he was gripping so tightly.
"Shit, I am sorry Dani." Jordan backed away.
"Okay." It wasn't but I needed him to explain. Laying into him wasn't going to help me to get to the bottom of this.
"Dani… Why him?" Jordan was now standing with his back to me. Why him? Why did I sleep with Chad? What was that supposed to mean? Jordans Phone buzzed in his pocket. He looked at it and quickly answered it.
"What is it?" a pause, "So what if I am?" another pause, "The fuck do you care?" a pause, "She has to know! There is no way she doesn't! THERE IS NO POSSIBLE WAY! You know what? FUCK YOU" Jordan smashes his phone on the ground and stomps on it.
"Everything okay…?" I asked timidly. Jordan was really starting to scare me.
"NO DANI IT IS NOT!!" Jordan was fuming now. "Dani how could you? How could you not tell me? How could you pick him? WHY THE FUCK DID YOU PICK HIM FOR?" Jordan was really losing it. He was practically foaming at the mouth. I didn't think about how my answer would land.
"Because I thought I loved him. He treated me so well, HE MADE ME FEEL SPECIAL. He didn't pity me because I am poor. He made me feel like a person for the first time." I was crying. I wasn't sure if it was because I was hurt because of what Chad did. Or the fact that Jordan was scaring me.
"You thought you loved him?" This seemed to stun Jordan.
"Yeah. I thought I did," I admit softly. It felt weird now, like everything was too quiet.
"Why didn't you pick me?"