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It was a sound that defied description.
To say Nero was "off-key" would be the understatement of the century. It was an acoustic assault. It was like listening to a bagpipe being shoved into a woodchipper while a banshee screamed in the background.
It wasn't just unpleasant; it was weaponized.
[Chat]:[Eardrums]: MAKE IT STOP!
[Music_Critic]: This isn't singing. This is a Geneva Convention violation.
[Rome_Facts]: Nero actually forced people to listen to him sing for hours. If they left, they were executed.
[Rebellion]: No wonder Rome burned! The citizens probably set it on fire just to escape the concert!
[Viewer_Count]: DROPPING LIKE A ROCK. 800,000... 750,000... 600,000...
[Ultimatum]: Maverick, stop her or I'm leaving!
Maverick was suffering. He was underwater, clutching his ears, but the sound vibrated through the liquid like a sonar ping.
"Nero..." Maverick gasped, surfacing for air. "Please... stop!"
"What is it, Master?" Nero's voice floated cheerfully from the other side. "Are you moved to tears by my beautiful voice? It is alright! You may weep openly! My Golden Theater was built for this very purpose! My citizens would often faint from sheer ecstasy!"
"They fainted from oxygen deprivation!" Maverick wheezed. "Or shock!"
"Nonsense! They were awestruck by a god!" Nero declared. "Now, for the second verse!"
"NO!" Maverick screamed. "Please! Mercy!"
Just as Nero inhaled to unleash another Padoru, a miracle happened.
Creaaaak.
The sliding door to the men's bath opened.
Maverick froze. He sank lower into the water until only his eyes were visible.
A figure walked into the steam-filled room. It was another Kiritsugu Emiya avatar, naked except for a small towel draped over his shoulder. He looked relaxed, whistling a tune, clearly unaware that he had just walked into a war zone.
Maverick recognized the player immediately. It was Daisy (Xiao Dai), using the male avatar.
The two Kiritsugus locked eyes across the misty bath.
Silence stretched for five seconds.
Then, pure chaos.
Maverick leaped out of the water like a breaching whale. "ENEMY!"
Daisy shrieked. It wasn't a manly battle cry; it was a high-pitched scream of genuine terror. "GHOST!"
She turned and sprinted for the changing room, her bare feet slapping wetly against the tiles. She didn't want a fistfight; she wanted her gun.
"Hey! It's me! Maverick!" Maverick yelled, chasing after her. "Don't run! Let's ally! Are you Panda? Or Monkey?"
He grabbed a wooden stool from the floor and hurled it.
THWACK.
The stool missed Daisy by an inch, smashing into a locker with a deafening crash.
"Nice throw, idiot!" Daisy yelled, reaching her locker. She fumbled with the key, her hands shaking. "I'm not Panda! I'm Xiao Dai! Don't kill me!"
"Xiao Dai?" Maverick paused. "Oh. Daisy. Wait, let's talk!"
CLICK.
The locker opened. Daisy grabbed her Glock 17.
She spun around, aiming at Maverick.
"Talk to the hand!" she screamed.
BANG. BANG. BANG.
Maverick dove behind a row of lockers. "YOU LIAR! YOU SAID ALLIANCE!"
"I lied!" Daisy laughed maniacally. "This is a battle royale! Trust no one!"
[Chat]:[Top_10_Betrayals]: SHE PLAYED HIM LIKE A FIDDLE.
[Tactics]: Never trust a streamer in a PVP game. Especially Daisy. She's ruthless.
[Action]: Why aren't they summoning Servants?
[Horny]: Wait... if they summon Servants... Nero is in the bath... does that mean... NAKED NERO FIGHT?!
[Summon]: DO IT MAVERICK! SUMMON HER!
Maverick was pinned down. He was naked (in game logic), wet, and being shot at by a maniac.
"Okay," Maverick pouted. "You want to play rough? Fine."
He activated his skill.
"Time Alter: Double Accel!"
His heart rate spiked. The world slowed down. He saw Daisy's finger tightening on the trigger.
He grabbed a mop from the corner. He tied his towel to the end of it and waved it like a white flag from behind the lockers.
BANG.
The towel was shot instantly. A hole appeared in the center.
"Whoops," Daisy giggled. "My hand slipped! I thought it was a... uh... hostile towel!"
"You're terrible at lying!" Maverick shouted. "Put the gun down!"
"Okay, okay!" Daisy called out. "I'm putting it down! See? No gun! Come out, Maverick! Let's be friends!"
Maverick peeked through a crack in the lockers.
Daisy had indeed put down the Glock. But she was now holding a Submachine Gun in one hand and a Frag Grenade in the other.
"FRIENDS!" she yelled, pulling the pin on the grenade with her teeth.
"You possess a wicked soul!" Maverick cried.
He looked around for a weapon. He found a bar of soap. It wasn't much, but with Time Alter, he could throw it at Mach 1.
Just as he prepared to launch the tactical soap, a noise stopped them both.
From the other side of the wall—the women's bath—came a sound.
It wasn't singing. It wasn't screaming.
It was a roar. A dragon's roar.
"ARTHURRRRR!"
But it sounded weird. It was distorted, muffled by water and rage.
"AR-THUR-GLUB-GLUB!"
Then, a massive crash shook the building. The dividing wall between the men's and women's baths exploded outward.
Splinters, tiles, and steam filled the air.
Through the hole, a black, armored figure was thrown. He crashed into the men's bath, skipping across the water like a stone before sinking to the bottom.
It was Berserker Lancelot.
And stepping through the hole in the wall was Nero.
She was wrapped in a large white bath towel. Her hair was wet. Her skin was flushed pink from the heat. In her hand, she held her red sword, Aestus Estus.
She looked furious.
"HOW DARE YOU!" Nero roared, pointing her sword at the sinking Black Knight. "I WAS IN THE MIDDLE OF THE CHORUS! YOU INTERRUPTED MY CONCERT! UNFORGIVABLE!"
She turned her gaze to Maverick and Daisy. Her green eyes were burning with the fury of a diva scorned.
"AND YOU TWO!" she shouted. "NOISY! SO NOISY! IF YOU WANT TO DIE, DO IT QUIETLY! I AM TRYING TO RELAX!"
Maverick and Daisy froze. The grenade in Daisy's hand ticked ominously.
"Uh oh," Maverick whispered.
"UMU!" Nero raised her sword. "BURNING BATHHOUSE SLASH!"
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