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How to describe the singing.
Off-key was insufficient as a description. It wasn't that individual notes were wrong — it was that every note was wrong, and yet there was structure. Commitment. The kind of passionate sincerity that made it harder to dismiss, because it wasn't careless. It was precisely, enthusiastically, wrong.
After thirty seconds it migrated from unsettling to neurologically persistent.
[Chat]: NO
[Chat]: MAVERICK MAKE IT STOP
[Viewer_Drop]: the count is dropping. I can watch it happen.
[Leaving]: I cannot
[Staying]: I will not abandon Maverick in this moment
Maverick addressed the wall between them.
"Nero. Are you... singing?"
"Of course it is I!" Bright, cheerful, untroubled. "Is there anyone else in the world with such a beautiful singing voice and unparalleled operatic skill?"
"Uh—"
"Are you moved, Master? It's alright — speak freely. I am a very tolerant Emperor. My singing is the happiness and prosperity of the people of Rome. My Golden Theater was built for exactly this purpose." A pause loaded with implication. "Be grateful. You have received the same gift as my citizens. Know that after hearing these notes, without exception, not one of them was able to walk out of the theater standing. Their legs gave out entirely — as if awestruck by a divine presence."
[Chat]: that's because they were trying to leave
[Chat]: Nero that is not why their legs gave out
[History]: historical accounts suggest attendance at Nero's performances was not always voluntary
[Viewer_Count]: lost another forty thousand in ninety seconds
[One_Comment]: SHUT UP
[Another]: Emperor with no self-awareness. this is genuinely terrifying.
[Historical_Question]: was Nero considered a tyrant because of the singing. was this the whole thing.
[Asking_Seriously]: should Rome just be destroyed? I'm asking seriously.
Maverick was still working through how to stop the singing without a favorability penalty when the door opened.
An Emiya Kiritsugu with a bath towel over one shoulder walked in, looked at Maverick, and stopped.
Maverick looked back.
Five seconds.
Then both of them moved simultaneously — the other player turning for the changing room, Maverick coming up out of the water.
"Hey! Hey — it's Maverick, don't run! Are you Teacher Pu? Monkey? Wei? Let's talk alliance, STOP RUNNING—"
He said alliance. His hands had already located a wooden bathhouse stool.
The stool launched. Grazed the other player's back, hit a locker door. Shattered. The locker swung open with a clang.
The other player reached in and pulled out a Glock.
"5x acceleration!"
[Bang! Bang! Bang!]
"OH — Maverick! It's me, it's Dai! Misunderstanding! I thought you were an NPC! I'm putting the gun down, come out, let's ally—"
[Bang!]
[Chat]: SHE SAID SHE PUT THE GUN DOWN
[Chat]: AND THEN SHOT AGAIN
[Watching]: Maverick has found a clothes pole. he is using it to extend a towel around the corner of the cabinet as a white flag.
[Update]: Dai shot a hole through the towel.
[Chat]: ...
[Dai]: ...
[Chat]: the white flag has been destroyed. Maverick is done negotiating.
[Practical]: why aren't either of them using Command Seals to summon their Servants. Nero exists. what are they doing.
[Answer]: Nero is wearing a bath towel. Maverick has considered this and decided to handle it himself.
The standoff had reached the phase where both parties were performing elaborate goodwill gestures while clearly planning to strangle each other, which the chat was finding very satisfying.
Then, from the far end of the bathhouse — through two walls — something arrived.
"Ah ↑ Ah ♦ Ah ♦ Ah ↓ Ah ↑"
[Chat]: what
[Chat]: WHAT IS THAT
[Chat]: that is coming from INSIDE the building
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