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Maverick was completely unaware of the real-world chaos he had caused. He didn't know about Vanguard Games plotting his demise, or the millions of tweets dissecting his gameplay. He was just a gamer, lost in the sauce.
The viewer count on the StreamZone platform had surged from 500,000 to 5 million.
This was unprecedented. It was 3:00 AM in the Dragon Kingdom. These weren't bots. These were real, sleep-deprived humans, glued to their screens, watching a man eat virtual burgers with King Arthur.
Maverick and his new ally, Ryu ("A-Bro"), had left the airport. Finding no new victims to ambush, they had commandeered a taxi and headed into Fuyuki City. They stopped at a quaint little café near the bridge.
The strategy was simple:
Enter café.
Use Hypnosis on the owner. ("This meal is free.")
Let the two Artorias eat their weight in pastries.
Exchange intel.
While Saber (Maverick's petite Artoria) and Lancer Alter (Ryu's towering Artoria) demolished a mountain of strawberry shortcakes, the two Masters talked shop.
"So," Ryu said, leaning back in his chair and picking his teeth. "You know about Noble Phantasms, right?"
"Vaguely," Maverick admitted. "Big magic attacks. Like the beam struggle earlier."
"It's deeper than that," Ryu explained, eager to show off his lore knowledge. "A Noble Phantasm is the crystallization of a hero's legend. It can be a weapon, sure. But it can also be a concept."
He gestured with a fork.
"Take Lancelot, for example. There's a story where he won a duel using an elm branch because he was unarmed. In the game, that legend becomes a skill: Knight of Owner. Anything he picks up—a stick, a metal pipe, a fighter jet—becomes a D-Rank Noble Phantasm."
[Chat]:[Lore_Master]: Correct! That skill is busted. Imagine Lancelot grabbing a nuclear missile.
[History_Buff]: Wait, if Lancelot can use anything... what if he grabs another Servant?
[Gamer_Bro]: Don't give the modders ideas.
[Three_Kingdoms_Fan]: If I summon Lu Bu, can I betray my Master immediately? It's historically accurate!
[Tactician]: If I summon Zhuge Liang, can I just win by roasting the enemy to death with verbal insults?
"And then there's the True Name weakness," Ryu continued. "Servants are spirits of the dead. Their legends dictate their weaknesses."
"Like Achilles and his heel?" Maverick asked.
"Exactly. Or Siegfried and the spot on his back. If you know a Servant's True Name, you know how they died. If a Servant died from poison in their legend, they'll have zero poison resistance in the game. If they were killed by an arrow, they take double damage from Archers."
"Information is ammo," Maverick mused. "That's why Artoria yelled at me for using her name."
"Right. Also, geography matters. This is the Fuyuki City map, which is in Japan. Japanese Servants get a massive stat boost here because of the 'Land Bonus.' A C-tier Samurai becomes an A-tier threat on home soil."
Maverick nodded, absorbing the info. "Okay. One question though. I checked the flight map earlier. I saw markers for London, Berlin, New York... but no marker for the Dragon Kingdom. Why?"
Ryu chuckled. "Oh, that? That's the best part of the lore."
He leaned in, lowering his voice conspiratorially.
"The Dragon Kingdom is a Magician's Forbidden Zone."
[Chat]:[Patriot]: HECK YEAH! DRAGON KINGDOM NUMBER ONE! [Lore_God]: Wait, seriously? That's the explanation? [Magic_Fan]: "Forbidden Zone"? Does that mean no magic? [History_Nerd]: No, it means the magic there is too strong.
"In this universe," Ryu explained, "Western Magicians spend their lives trying to reach the 'Root'—the source of all magic. But in the Dragon Kingdom? The mystics there have their own system. They call it 'Cultivation' or 'Dao.' It's a completely different power scale."
"The magical defenses of the Dragon Kingdom are absolute," Ryu continued. "They don't tolerate foreign rituals like the Holy Grail War. If a western Mage tries to summon a Servant in Beijing? They get vaporized by the local enforcement bureau before the summoning circle even lights up."
"Also," Ryu grinned, "gas leaks don't happen there. The government actually fixes the pipes."
(Author's Note: A little jab at the Fate trope where every magical disaster is covered up as a "gas leak.")
Maverick laughed. "So basically, the Dragon Kingdom is too OP for this game?"
"Pretty much. It keeps the power scaling balanced. If we could summon the Monkey King or the Jade Emperor... the game would break."
Maverick looked over at the table where the two Artorias were eating. The stack of empty plates was now taller than Saber herself.
"I feel bad for the NPC owner," Maverick muttered. "That's a lot of cake."
"Don't worry," Ryu dismissed. "He's hypnotized. He thinks he's feeding stray cats."
Just then, the peaceful atmosphere shattered.
A shadow fell over their table. It wasn't a cloud. It was something massive blocking the sun.
Then came the laughter.
"UH HAHAHAHAHAHA!" "UH HAHAHAHAHAHA!" "UH HAHAHAHAHAHA!"
It wasn't normal laughter. It was a cacophony of deep, booming guffaws that sounded like a chorus of demons. It vibrated in Maverick's chest, grating on his nerves like sandpaper.
CRASH.
The front window of the café exploded inward. Glass shards sprayed across the floor.
Three figures burst into the room.
They were massive men, easily seven feet tall. They wore tight, sleeveless sailor uniforms—white shirts with blue collars—that strained against their grotesque muscles. They had identical, square-jawed faces with manic, fixed grins.
On each of their foreheads, a glowing barcode stamp read: [MASS PRODUCED].
[Chat]:[WTF]: WHAT ARE THOSE?! [JoJo_Fan]: Are those... bodybuilders in sailor suits? [Nightmare_Fuel]: Why are there three of them? And why do they all look the same? [KekW]: "UH HAHAHAHA!" That laugh is cursed!
Ryu, who had been leaning back in his chair looking cool, shrieked and fell backward, landing hard on the floor.
"What the hell?!" Ryu scrambled back. "Are those Servants?!"
The three sailor-men grabbed the terrified café owner and the waitress. They lifted them effortlessly, like ragdolls.
"PROTEIN!" one of them roared. "WE NEED PROTEIN!"
Maverick froze. This wasn't in the briefing.
"Saber!" Maverick yelled.
But the two Artorias were already moving.
Saber (Maverick's) stood up, wiping cream from her lip. Her eyes narrowed. "Villains interrupting mealtime? Unforgivable."
Lancer Alter (Ryu's) stood up slowly, unfolding her towering frame. She cracked her knuckles. "So noisy. And so ugly."
The Battle of the Sailor Men was about to begin.
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