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"Go home, Maverick," the chat spammed mercilessly. "Go home. The Holy Grail War isn't for you."
"Asexual reproduction? Did you really ask that? Caught another one who skipped biology class."
"I am dying from secondhand embarrassment. Look at Artoria's face. She's trying so hard not to call you an idiot."
"Wait, forget Maverick! LOOK AT RIDER! LOOK AT THOSE ABS!"
"Tip: User 'Flower_Power' gifted 10 Rockets! Message: Maverick, ask for her number. For science."
Maverick stared at the sky, trying to ignore the chat roasting him. His attempt at being intellectual ("What is asexual reproduction?") had backfired spectacularly.
Rider, however, was gracious. She ignored his stupidity and continued her briefing.
"Simply put," Rider explained, leaning on her massive bronze spear, "these things are self-replicating biological weapons. They operate like a virus. They consume biomass—people—and fission into new units."
She pointed her spear toward the mountain looming over the city.
"Right now, they are harvesting Fuyuki City. If we don't stop the source, the geometric progression will be catastrophic. Within 24 hours, the entire map will be covered in smiling muscle-men. We won't just lose the War; we'll be drowned in meat."
"Drowned in meat?" Saber shuddered. "That is... a vivid image."
"I don't want to joke about it," Rider said grimly. "But imagine a world ruled by Columbus. A world where everyone is forced to smile and mine for gold. It's a nightmare scenario."
Maverick felt a chill. The stakes had just been raised from "Battle Royale" to "Zombie Apocalypse."
Ping.Ping.Ping.
The phones of all three Masters buzzed simultaneously.
Maverick pulled out his virtual smartphone. A new email notification popped up.
[SENDER: THE HOLY CHURCH][SUBJECT: URGENT BOUNTY - CASTER ELIMINATION]
"To all esteemed Magi participating in the Heaven's Feel Ritual:
We have detected a massive breach of the secrecy laws. Servant Caster and his Master are conducting large-scale operations that threaten the mystery of magecraft.
As the Supervisor of this Holy Grail War, the Holy Church hereby issues a mandatory quest: Eliminate Caster immediately.
Reward: One (1) Command Spell.
Coordinates of Caster's Stronghold have been attached.
Signed,Kirei Kotomine"
Maverick blinked. "Holy Church? Bounties? Is this part of the game mechanics?"
Max, the developer, had implemented this system as a safeguard. If a player—usually a Caster—got too greedy and started snowballing by farming NPCs, the game would turn the other six players against them. It was a self-balancing mechanic to prevent one player from becoming unstoppable.
"It's a balance patch," Ryu (A-Bro) explained, reading the email. "In the lore, the Church referees the war. If someone breaks the rules—like mass-murdering civilians—the Church puts a hit out on them."
"And the reward is a Command Spell?" The third Master—the one Rider had been carrying—spoke up. His voice was light, a bit high-pitched.
"That's huge," Ryu continued. "A Command Spell is basically a 'Win Button.' It can force a Servant to teleport, heal instantly, or unleash a Noble Phantasm without charge time. Getting an extra one is a game-changer."
Maverick looked at the third Master. He was small, slender, and kept fidgeting with his hair.
"Hey," Maverick asked bluntly. "Are you a girl?"
The third Master froze. "Uh... yes?"
Maverick nodded sagely. "Called it. No guy clings to a female Rider like that."
[Chat]:[Detective_Mav]: CASE CLOSED. [Simp_Alert]: IT'S A GIRL! A GAMER GIRL! [Disgust]: Wait, so that face... Kiritsugu's face... on a girl? That's cursed. [Mod_Hammer]: Stop being weird, chat. [Lancelot_Main]: "I demand female avatars!" - signed, everyone. [Tactician]: So we have Maverick (Noob), Ryu (Lore Master), and Gamer Girl (Rider's Backpack). What a team. [Hater]: Maverick is useless. Ryu explains the lore. The girl has the OP Servant. What does Maverick do? He's just roadside trash. [Mav_Fan]: Hey! He... uh... he has the main character energy!
"Okay," Maverick said, ignoring the 'Roadside Trash' comment in the chat. "So we have a quest. We have a team. What's the plan?"
Rider grinned, spinning her spear. "The plan is simple. We hit them hard. We hit them fast. My chariot can break the front lines. Saber and Lancer follow in my wake and clean up the stragglers."
"And the Masters?" Ryu asked.
"You three stay in the chariot," Rider ordered. "It's the safest place. Unless you want to get swarmed by Columbus clones."
"Shotgun!" the girl yelled instantly, scrambling back into the chariot.
"Hey!" Maverick protested. "I wanted shotgun!"
"Too slow, old man!" she teased.
Ryu sighed. "I guess I'm in the back seat."
The three Masters climbed into the divine chariot—Gordius Wheel. It was surprisingly spacious, glowing with green lightning.
"Hold on tight!" Rider warned. "I don't have seatbelts!"
"Wait," Maverick realized something. "Rider... why were you so eager to team up? You have the fastest Servant. You could have just soloed Caster."
Rider's grin faltered for a second. She looked toward the mountain.
"Because," Rider said quietly. "My Achilles Heel... isn't just a metaphor. I'm invincible, sure. But Caster... he's tricky. If he uses curses or traps... I might get stuck. I need someone to watch my back."
She looked at Saber and Lancer.
"And honestly? I missed fighting alongside heroes. It gets lonely being the fastest."
She cracked the reins.
"IONIAN HETAIROI! CHARGE!"
The chariot exploded forward, wheels screaming against the asphalt. They tore down the street, heading straight for the mountain temple.
Behind them, a thousand red eyes watched from the shadows. And deep in the temple, a demonic monk laughed.
"Kukukuku... come to me, my little moths. The fire is waiting."
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