Transcendent Chat Group
Dvalin:
???
Lumine:
Good grief—so Dvalin wasn't the attacker, wasn't the villain either!
It turns out he just went to pick up Venti! (shocked.jpg)
Alice:
That plot twist almost threw my back out~
Barbara:
(facepalm.jpg)
Zhongli:
Unexpected, yet entirely reasonable. Exactly the sort of thing he would do.
Ei:
Barbatos, please don't casually come to Inazuma anymore. I'm afraid I might draw my sword. (serious.jpg)
Nahida:
Drinking really does cause trouble—this is not something to learn!
Furina:
Poor Dvalin. He traveled all that way just to pick someone up, and somehow ended up getting beaten instead.
Paimon:
The bard wrecked Inazuma once, then got his familiar beaten up too. Truly mastered the art of "not doing proper work."
Neuvillette:
Even so, as a dragon of wind, losing to a Paimon… you should probably leave the group.
Paimon:
???
Paimon:
Paimon is very strong, okay?! (hands on hips.jpg)
Dvalin:
She was cheating!
Neuvillette:
You lost. (serious.jpg)
Dvalin:
...
Outside Mondstadt
Dvalin and Venti landed together.
The atmosphere between them was… awkward.
Facing Dvalin's stern gaze, Venti scratched his head with an awkward smile.
"Ahem… so, uh… Dvalin. You okay?"
Just moments ago, he had been hopping back and forth teasing the dragon.
And now reality slapped him instantly.
Dvalin hadn't gone to Inazuma to cause trouble at all—
He went there to pick him up.
Who could've guessed that?
The Venti shown on the light-screen really was too irresponsible.
Venti could practically feel the light-screen's malicious sense of humor.
Dvalin stared at him in silence.
Okay?
Was that even a question?
Earlier, Dvalin had wondered why it would ever fly all the way to Inazuma.
Now it understood.
It went to retrieve this guy.
And what did it get in return?
First, artillery fire from Inazuma.
Then a ridiculous fight with giant Paimon.
Then getting beaten by an absurd food-powered revival.
And to top it all off—
It was expelled from the dragon roster by a petty hydro dragon.
Even if it was "just a video," the one suffering was still it.
Dvalin felt heartache just watching itself.
So miserable.
Back then… how did it ever get fooled by this bard's music?
The more Dvalin looked at Venti's carefree expression, the angrier it got.
Finally, it couldn't take it anymore and roared:
"Do something proper for once, Barbatos!"
Venti rubbed his nose.
Do something proper?
Aren't they doing that right now?
The Villa
After enjoying the chat's chaos one last time, Luo Chen smiled and spoke.
"Looks like everyone had plenty of fun watching that video."
"Alright, that concludes the not-so-serious review of Dvalin."
"And with that, today's commentary comes to an end."
"As usual, I'll upload the edited version later."
"Same time tomorrow—we'll continue with the next Genshin character!"
"Stay tuned~"
With that, Luo Chen ended the stream.
Then he immediately got to work editing.
Next up—
Rex Lapis, Zhongli.
Now that was going to be interesting.
Transcendent Chat Group
Kuki Shinobu:
I'm back. Today's summary:
Kuki Shinobu:
Serious review of the Wind Archon — "God Who Loves Humanity," "Freedom."
Kuki Shinobu:
Serious review of Dvalin — His past experiences.
Kuki Shinobu:
Not-so-serious review of the Wind Archon — "Barbatos Stripping," "May the Wind Archon Scam You," "Never Doing Proper Work," "No Mora," "Afraid of Cats."
Kuki Shinobu:
Not-so-serious review of Dvalin — "Paimon vs. Dvalin."
Arataki Itto:
Nice one, Shinobu!
Xiangling:
Huh? Only five not-so-serious points for the Wind Archon?
Kamisato Ayaka:
Even with just five, the content was overwhelming—especially the second one.
Dvalin:
"May the Wind Archon Scam You" is no joke.
Venti:
Ehe~
Alice:
Wow, even gods only get five—but Keqing got six! Truly the Electro Archon of Liyue! (smirk.jpg)
Nilou:
Yeah, Keqing's is on a whole different level.
Keqing:
...
Lumine:
Actually, Venti should also get "Drunkard." He's a complete alcoholic.
Paimon:
Good point! That makes six—same as Keqing!
Venti:
Ehe~ I'm only the second one with six, but I definitely won't be the last~
Dvalin:
That I agree with.
Alice:
Didn't we once compare which god was the most "serious"?
Xiao:
Rex Lapis would never!
Kujou Sara:
The Shogun would never either!
Nilou:
The Lesser Lord Kusanali as well!
Clorinde:
Lady Furina, uh…
Furina:
???
Lumine:
Hehe~ Don't say that too confidently.
Paimon:
Can't wait for the next review~
Suddenly, a mechanical voice echoed in everyone's minds across Teyvat.
[Ding! Commentary complete.]
[Reviewed individuals will receive one random reward.]
[Rewards may include food, power-enhancing items, revival tools, wear-removal items, and other miraculous objects.]
Everyone's eyes lit up.
Rewards?!
The screen brightened again.
Venti and Dvalin—outside Mondstadt.
Two golden meteors streaked across the sky and landed before them.
As the light faded, two items appeared.
[Ding! Wind Archon Barbatos has received: Strange Wine Gourd!]
[Strange Wine Gourd: Once per day, produces alcohol from another world. There is a chance of generating a "special" drink.]
[Note: Special drinks only work on one individual.]
[Ding! Dvalin has received: Negative Effect Removal Card!]
[Removes all negative effects, including injuries, lost limbs, memory damage, and erosion.]
[Bound item—cannot be transferred.]
Transcendent Chat Group
Ei:
Removal card… even erosion? (excited.jpg)
Zhongli:
The light-screen's rewards should be trustworthy. This is something even gods desire.
Venti:
Yeah~ Dvalin's luck is pretty good. Guess the beating wasn't for nothing.
Dvalin:
...
Tighnari:
If Collei had something like this… her illness…
Collei:
It's okay, Master. There'll be a chance someday.
Baizhu:
If such items could be mass-produced, no one would fear injury anymore.
Hu Tao:
Then we'd both be out of work!
Alice:
Something that precious definitely can't be mass-produced—and even if it could, it wouldn't necessarily be a good thing.
Changsheng:
Exactly~
Outside Mondstadt
Venti looked at Dvalin.
"The reward's bound, but you should use it right away."
"Agreed."
Dvalin grasped the card.
"Use."
The card dissolved into golden motes and flowed into its body.
At first, Dvalin felt uneasy—
Those same lights had revived its opponent earlier.
But soon, warmth spread through its entire body.
Something snapped.
A burden it had carried for centuries vanished.
It felt… free.
Like the moment it was born from the wind.
No—
even better.
"How does it feel?" Venti asked.
"Good."
"Very good."
"Better than ever."
Venti smiled.
For once, he was genuinely happy for his old friend.
As for himself—
With the Strange Wine Gourd, opportunities would come.
The Abyss
The atmosphere had been cheerful earlier.
Now it was silent.
Others had erosion.
They had curses.
Seeing such rewards filled them with envy.
An Abyss Mage suddenly spoke.
"Your Highness… do you think the light-screen might grant something that could lift our curse?"
Eyes lit up.
Aether waved his hand.
"Don't think about the Wind Archon or Neuvillette."
"Even if they get something special, it only works for one person."
"As for the light-screen itself…"
He paused, then smiled.
"It's miraculous. Of course it can."
"And my luck has always been good."
Cheers erupted.
Aether sighed inwardly.
Hope was rare.
He couldn't bring himself to extinguish it.
Transcendent Chat Group
Attention shifted to Venti's reward.
Furina:
Strange Wine Gourd? Kind of like Neuvillette's reward.
Neuvillette:
Indeed. Water versus alcohol.
Lumine:
One enjoys water tasting, the other drinks booze—perfect match.
Paimon:
Now the bard gets alcohol from other worlds every day. He must be thrilled~
Venti:
Ehe~
Zhongli:
Hopefully his luck is decent…
Nahida:
It won't be radioactive wastewater wine, right?
Diona:
That'd be great. Forced sobriety.
Neuvillette:
...
Venti:
...
Outside Mondstadt
"Relax—watch this!"
Venti stepped forward confidently.
He wasn't Klee-level lucky—
But he definitely wasn't Neuvillette-level unlucky either.
Holding the gourd, he whispered:
"Use today's random chance."
The gourd instantly grew heavy.
Text appeared above it.
[Enhanced Vodka: A powerful alcohol from another world.]
[Effect: Ignores divine power and all supernatural resistance, delivering pure alcohol flavor.]
Transcendent Chat Group
Alice:
Vodka?! Enhanced?!
Barbara:
You know this drink?
Alice:
Heard of it in another world—very strong stuff. Gets you drunk fast.
Lumine:
And this version can't be neutralized with divine power.
Xiangling:
So everyone's equal before this drink?
Ayaka:
Seems so.
Jean:
Then… wouldn't Barbatos get extremely drunk?
Venti patted his chest confidently.
"Drinking?"
"I'm a professional!"
"I won't get drunk."
"And I definitely won't do anything improper!"
He uncorked the gourd.
The aroma hit instantly.
Good booze.
Without hesitation, he lifted it—
and drank.
Transcendent Chat Group
Barbara:
Is this okay…?
Dvalin:
Remove "okay."
Diona:
It's over. Definitely over.
Lumine:
Great! Then he can perform—Wind Archon turns into a catgirl~
Paimon:
Ooh—anticipation!
Hu Tao:
Hehe~
Yae Miko:
Looking forward to it~
Furina:
Same~
Barbara:
...
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