Paimon: "Monster! Take My Eight-Point Light Wheel!"
Transcendent Chat Group
Lumine:
Good news—our main character, Dvalin, has finally appeared!
Alice:
Ehe~ Bad news—Dvalin is the final boss attacking Inazuma City!
Paimon:
Hey! So YOU were the one who attacked Inazuma in the end, Dvalin?! And you still had the nerve to blame me earlier?! (hands on hips.jpg)
Venti:
Exactly! I knew there was something off about this dragon! Just look at him—clearly not the type to do proper work! (serious.jpg)
Venti:
I hereby declare this matter has nothing to do with me. Please do not associate me with it, Inazuma. (serious.jpg)
Dvalin:
...
The rest of the chat group fell into awkward silence.
They weren't just shocked by Dvalin's appearance.
They were even more shocked by the Wind God's shamelessness.
First, he guessed Dvalin was the culprit.
Then, when proven wrong, he immediately claimed Dvalin was a "proper dragon."
Now that the truth was revealed—
he instantly switched sides again and cut ties.
No hesitation.
No shame.
Just pure, fluid flip-flopping.
Dvalin being his familiar was truly… tragic.
Above Mondstadt
Dvalin was completely dumbfounded.
At first, it thought it would single-sidedly crush Paimon.
Then it realized the fight was evenly matched.
Now—
it had become the villain?
The Four Winds Guardian of Mondstadt?
A final boss?
This was way too unorthodox.
Seeing Venti still teasing him, Dvalin felt even worse—but couldn't really complain.
After all… it had laughed first.
"…Attacking Mondstadt would at least make sense," Dvalin muttered.
"But why Inazuma?"
"Don't tell me it was also for food?"
It let out a long sigh.
Light-Screen
Once the giant dragon was detected in the sky, Inazuma immediately opened fire.
Boom!
Boom!
Boom!
This time—it worked.
After a barrage of artillery fire, Dvalin was blasted straight out of the sky.
Enraged, Dvalin roared and wiped out the cannons below.
But Ei had prepared a countermeasure.
She deployed—
Prototype Raiden Shogun: Unit-01.
It was a massive humanoid puppet, comparable in size to Dvalin.
Armed to the teeth.
Majestic.
Intimidating.
Its combat power looked terrifying.
Unfortunately—
it had no pilot.
The plan failed instantly.
Akademiya
Grand Sage Azar had just been revived.
The moment he woke up, he planned to rally support.
After all, if he couldn't argue with the normal chat group alone—he could always bring backup.
But when he saw the massive Prototype Raiden Shogun Unit-01 on the light-screen, his eyes lit up.
"This resembles our project," he said slowly.
"Yes, Grand Sage," an Akademiya member replied.
"And we also lack a pilot."
"Additionally… we still need a Gnosis."
Azar nodded.
The Dendro Archon's Gnosis was sustaining the Akasha—unusable.
A pilot capable of controlling a god-creation was even harder to find.
That left only one solution.
He waved his hand.
"Continue the research."
"The rest will be handled by that person."
"Yes, Grand Sage."
Inazuma — Fatui Base
Scaramouche watched the screen with mild interest.
"Unit-01…"
"That sounds similar to something the Doctor mentioned before."
He smirked faintly.
"What a shame we didn't get to see its true power."
If it really could rival a god…
Then cooperating with the Doctor wouldn't be off the table.
But the Gnosis issue was troublesome.
Thinking of Inazuma's current state, his expression darkened.
Light-Screen
After the Unit-01 plan failed, Inazuma tried every other method.
All failed.
Just as Dvalin was about to wreak havoc across the city—
Kujou Sara rushed to find Doctor Lumine, who was leisurely fishing.
"Doctor Lumine—"
"Shh."
Lumine gestured for silence, eyes fixed on the water.
"Sara, did you know?" she said calmly.
"Three years ago, when we dropped the Jade Chamber, we didn't truly eliminate Paimon."
"She only sank to the ocean floor."
She continued, voice steady.
"And now, this new monster is also heading toward the food district."
"If we awaken Paimon now…"
"They might destroy each other."
Sara's eyes widened.
"I see!"
"Yes." Lumine stood up, tightening her grip on the fishing rod.
"Come forth, Paimon."
"We need your power."
Splash—!
A giant Paimon burst from the sea.
Transcendent Chat Group
Hu Tao:
Classic—let them fight each other! Nicely done, Executor!
Paimon:
Oh no—I got schemed by the blond idiot! (angry.jpg)
Dvalin:
Oh no—I got schemed by the blond idiot! (angry.jpg)
Lumine:
Schemed? Without me, you'd still be sleeping at the bottom of the sea.
Now you get a chance to prove who the strongest monster is—and enjoy some food while you're at it!
Barbara:
Wait… why was Paimon fished up like that?
Lumine:
Because that's how I first met her.
Arataki Itto:
Got it. So her true form is a fish!
Paimon:
What?! I'm not a fish! I'm giving you a terrible nickname!
She froze.
Then remembered the cow photos he kept posting.
Paimon:
I'll call you "Cow-Herder!"
Itto:
What?! Then I'll call you—Flying Mini-Pumpkin!
Paimon:
Cow-Herder!
Itto:
Flying Mini-Pumpkin!
The chat devolved instantly.
Others sighed.
Thankfully, Venti stepped in.
Venti:
Ehe~ save the fighting for later. We're about to watch Paimon vs. Dvalin~
Alice:
Odds are open! Place your bets~
Itto:
1 Mora on Dvalin!
Xiangling:
1 Mora on Paimon!
Yae Miko:
I bet mutual destruction~
Furina:
I bet they team up and attack Inazuma together!
Dvalin & Paimon:
…Thanks a lot.
Light-Screen
Paimon landed dramatically.
"Waaaah!"
She charged at Dvalin.
Bang!
Bang!
Two punches right off the bat.
Dvalin retaliated immediately.
A dragon and an emergency food clashed over the sea.
Wing slaps.
Energy rings.
Blue breath beams.
Yellow energy blasts.
Boom—!
Boom—!
This was the only truly serious combat scene since the light-screen began.
Ignore the fighters—and it was an epic battle.
But one was Dvalin.
The other was giant Paimon.
Combined with the ridiculous visuals—
it was peak absurdity.
After a fierce exchange, Dvalin used its aerial advantage.
Seizing the opening, it dragged Paimon into the sky—
then dive-bombed.
Crash!
Paimon was knocked unconscious.
Above Mondstadt
Dvalin had been sweating bullets the entire time.
More nervous than fighting Durin five hundred years ago.
Because—
what if it lost to Paimon?
Until it saw her collapse, it finally relaxed.
"I won!"
"Barbatos, look! I won!"
Venti lay back casually, legs crossed.
"Ehe~ That's not guaranteed."
"…You're the villain this time, remember?"
Dvalin's heart skipped.
Slowly—it turned back to the screen.
Light-Screen
Somber music began to play.
[Paimon lost the light… and turned to stone.]
Nearby citizens cheered desperately.
"Paimon, don't lose!"
"Paimon—!"
Doctor Lumine rushed over.
"Paimon, look."
She tossed a skewer of Tricolor Dango.
It transformed mid-air into golden light and poured into Paimon.
Others followed.
Food after food was thrown.
The sky flooded with golden radiance.
Dvalin's eyes widened.
Paimon revived—stronger than before.
Transcendent Chat Group
Dvalin:
???
This is cheating!
Even real-world Dvalin was furious.
Why did food revive her?
And boost her?
Paimon:
I'm a foodie! Food restoring power makes perfect sense! (hands on hips.jpg)
Lumine:
Confirmed!
Venti:
I'm a very honest man—so I vote Paimon.
Zhongli:
By common logic… absurd, yet appropriate.
Ei:
If you keep arguing, are you actually planning to attack Inazuma? (draws sword.jpg)
Nahida:
Food logic is valid!
Furina:
You're losing as a villain and still want fairness? Bit late for that.
Alice:
Turning into light? Totally normal! At least she didn't craft it by hand~
Dvalin:
You—You people—!
Why was everyone siding with Paimon?!
Was it because he was the villain?!
Light-Screen
Paimon unleashed her power.
When Dvalin hurled massive rocks—
she removed her crown.
"Eight-Point Light Wheel!"
Boom—!
The rocks shattered instantly.
Jade Chamber
Paimon's eyes sparkled.
"That move's awesome!"
Stylish and ranged?
Definitely worth learning.
Light-Screen
With momentum on her side, Paimon pressed the attack.
Dvalin stood no chance against her buffed state.
After enduring a full atomic breath blast—
it collapsed.
Motionless.
Victory: Paimon.
Peace returned to Inazuma.
Above Mondstadt
"…I lost."
Dvalin was devastated.
Villain role.
Overpowered enemy.
Defeated by food buffs.
Venti smiled gently.
"Don't be sad. Losing once isn't a big deal."
Dvalin felt warmth—
until Venti added:
"Lose a few more times, and you'll get used to it~"
Dvalin: ...
Thanks. Really.
Jade Chamber
"Wahahaha! I won!"
"I beat Dvalin!"
Paimon flew excitedly around Lumine.
"Yes, yes, you're amazing," Lumine laughed.
"Not sure why the light-screen favored you this time."
Paimon's eyes darted nervously.
Did my prayer work?
Should I sacrifice Lumine… or sacrifice Lumine?
Just when everyone thought it was over—
the screen flickered again.
Dvalin lay on the ground, weakly pointing.
"I… I only came… to take him back…"
They followed his finger.
A crate opened.
A green-capped bard crawled out.
"Ehe… s-sorry… played… too hard…"
Completely drunk.
End of video.
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