Transcendent Chat Group
Arataki Itto: WAHAHA! The Arataki Gang's Boss makes an appearance!
Kuki Shinobu: Boss, you're literally just background decoration.
Yun Jin: This… musical style is rather peculiar.
Ayaka: Such a strange feeling…
It makes me want to close the video, yet at the same time, I can't stop watching…
Nilou: Ahem… more like:
Not listening for one day feels uncomfortable; listening once ruins your whole day.
Sayu: I can't watch it… too stimulating… now I can't even sleep…
Alice: Haha! Truly magical!
Furina: I've never seen a stage play like this!
Hard to imagine the mental state of whoever created that video…
Lumine: Life is hard; Keqing must perform!
Even the Liyue Thunder God herself had to dance—what is there to complain about? (evil grin)
Paimon: Exactly!!
Yanfei: I feel like I'll never be able to look Lady Keqing in the eyes again…
Yaoyao: I hope Sister Ganyu's turn won't be like this…
Yae Miko: After "Medical studies can't save Mondstadt," it's refreshing to get another top-tier nonsense video. Looking forward to the next one!
Barbara: …
Keqing: …
Ganyu: …
Villa — Blue Star
Arthur finished savoring "My Grilled Mixed Offal" and laughed softly.
Yes, it was bullying Keqing a little…
but it was very entertaining.
"Now then," he said,
"you all should have a solid understanding of the 'Mixed Offal Master' title."
"Not only does she have the Mixed Offal Sword Style, she even has a Mixed Offal Song."
"If she opens a shop, it'll absolutely explode in popularity."
"As for embarrassment… don't worry.
I've prepared the solution."
"For anyone who wants to eat at her stall, they must first say:
'A meeting from another world — now, let us enjoy true flavor!'"
After a bit of teasing, he continued:
"And now… the sixth and final unserious evaluation—
Keqing the Cat."
"Teyvat's fauna is diverse, including many cat-like species."
"For example: Mondstadt's Diona, Inazuma's nekomata Kirara, and Fontaine's Lynette."
"Diona and Lynette are special cases—
but when it comes to Keqing…"
He pulled up several images.
Side by side:
Diona, Keqing, Kirara, Lynette.
At a glance—
all four had "cat ears."
Anyone who didn't know better would assume they were all catfolk.
Jade Chamber — Liyue
"Huh?"
"It's true!"
"I never noticed!"
Ganyu compared the pictures, astonished.
Ningguang nodded.
"These unserious evaluations may be ridiculous…
but the observations are frighteningly sharp."
"Always catching details even we overlook."
She then glanced at Keqing—
who looked unusually calm.
"Keqing, you have no comment?"
"Nope. I've gotten used to everything."
"Compared to the earlier evaluations?
This is nothing."
Keqing waved her hand dismissively.
If this had been the first evaluation, she would've exploded immediately—
insisting that those were hair buns, not cat ears.
But now?
After everything?
Keqing the Cat was a minor issue.
A tiny scene.
Nothing to panic over.
Ganyu and Ningguang exchanged looks.
Her evolution… was terrifying.
From "furious,"
to "despair,"
to "complete acceptance."
Ganyu suddenly shivered.
Next was her turn.
Would she also become like Lady Keqing…?
Transcendent Chat Group
Lumine: Honestly? It really does look like a cat.
Paimon: Is this Keqing's secret identity? (evil grin)
Zhongli: They are double-buns or ox-horn buns.
Xiangling: But compared to the other three, she really fits in!
Diona: First, I only look like a cat. That's just Kätzlein lineage.
Second, Keqing REALLY looks like a cat.
Lyney: My sister isn't actually a cat either—just a bit of ancestral reversion.
Kirara: So… I'm… the only REAL cat here??
Yae Miko: Aww, you finally realized~
Alice: Heehee. Such a tasty little kitty~
Kirara: Don't—don't come near me!! (scared.jpg)
Chaos filled the chat.
Venti: Keqing has SIX unserious evaluations!
Probably the most so far!
Nahida: Traveler has five, Acting Grand Master two, Barbara two, Keqing has six.
Ayaka: She has more than the Traveler??
Alice: So the Traveler isn't the most unserious—Keqing is!
Keqing: You—you're slandering me!!
Lumine: Hehe~ Keqing, you don't want people to know how unserious you actually are, do you?
Keqing: …
Keqing: LOOK!
She's revealing her true nature!!
Furina: Why did that line sound… suspiciously familiar?
Ganyu: Feels like something Guuji Yae would say… very Inazuman in flavor…
Yae Miko: Ganyu dear~ I'm just a pure and innocent little fox~
Kujou Sara: …
Ei: …
Gorou: …
Itto: …
Mondstadt — The Traveler's Room
Lumine tossed her cloak aside proudly.
"Heh! Keqing has six unserious evaluations!"
"Let's see who calls me 'shameless' next!"
She wasn't as sensitive about it as before,
but having fewer was always better for face.
After all, she was now the Honorary Knight.
Then Paimon murmured:
"What if… the number of unserious evaluations depends on popularity?"
"Keqing has more because she's more liked?
More favored by the light-screen guy?"
"…That is… possible."
Popularity… Liyue Thunder God…
Lumine's eyes widened.
"Impossible! Absolutely impossible!"
"YOU think she's more popular than ME?!"
She stood up.
"Fine! I'll show you the TRUE Butt-Sid—
uh—Cloud-Style Sword Technique!"
She mimicked Keqing's moves.
As a sword user, her form wasn't bad.
But…
Her hip wiggles carried an unmistakable aura of "shameless little gremlin."
Paimon burst into laughter.
"Hahaha!! Lumine—
Are you trying to kill me so you can take my savings?!"
"…Savings?"
Lumine narrowed her eyes.
Paimon froze.
"Oh no…"
"You can buy your OWN food from now on."
"Nooo! Lumine, I'm sorry!!"
Lumine ignored her and sat on the sofa.
Because suddenly—
She had a brilliant idea.
Transcendent Chat Group
Lumine: Everyone, listen—
I've discovered something AMAZING.
All of Keqing's evaluations can be connected into one story!
Paimon: Wow! The Traveler is amazing! Best in Teyvat!!
Keqing: Those can be connected???
Venti: Interesting. Explain~
Hu Tao: Explain explain explain!
Yae Miko: Explain explain explain~
Nahida: I'd like to hear it too.
Furina: Same here!
Lumine announced dramatically:
"Keqing's six unserious evaluations are:
Twisted Rex Lapis Fangirl
Butt-Tilt Sword Style
Nemesis: Electro Slime
Liyue's Thunder God
Mixed Offal Master
Keqing the Cat."
"Now watch how I link them!"
Lumine's Fantasy Epic — "The Legendary Life of Liyue's Thunder God"
Lumine cleared her throat:
Keqing was born and raised in Liyue, deeply loving her homeland.
She saw that the gods would not always remain—
so humanity must rise on their own.
Because of her "human governance" ideology,
she often said things unsuitable for public ears.
Thus she only collected Rex Lapis figurines in secret.
And so she became a Twisted Rex Lapis Fangirl.
One day, she witnessed the terrifying power of a god.
She realized—
Without power, human governance cannot stand.
Thus she trained tirelessly in the Butt-Tilt Sword Style.
Years passed.
One day—
Lightning roared.
Heaven and earth trembled.
Keqing ascended.
She achieved divine strength—
becoming the Thunder God of Liyue.
But then—
A powerful aura approached Liyue.
It was Signora.
She had gained strength equal to a god.
Keqing's catlike hair buns were mocked—
Signora insulted her.
But the Keqing of now was no longer weak.
To defend her dignity—
and to protect Liyue—
She struck.
A bolt of lightning.
A single flash.
Signora was vaporized.
Liyue prospered under Keqing's protection.
Human governance at last had divine strength behind it.
Then came the day—
Keqing encountered her true nemesis:
THE ELECTRO SLIME.
A being that ignored godlike power.
Returned only "Immune, immune, immune…"
Her cultivation collapsed.
Her confidence shattered.
Heartbroken, she left the mortal world—
becoming the wandering Mixed Offal Master.
She left behind only one song:
"My Grilled Mixed Offal."
Thus the Liyue Thunder God became a legend.
Until one day,
a Traveler from another world arrived.
Moved by her story,
the Traveler wrote a book:
"The Legendary Life of Liyue's Thunder God."
Lumine proudly finished:
"So?
Didn't I connect everything perfectly?"
The Entire Chat Fell Silent
No one replied.
Everyone was stunned.
Jade Chamber — Liyue
"'The Legendary Life of Liyue's Thunder God'…?"
Keqing looked conflicted.
It was absurd, ridiculous, nonsensical—
Yet strangely touching.
She could almost see another version of herself—
struggling, rising, protecting Liyue,
then disappearing into legend.
"…It really does fit my evaluations."
Ningguang smiled.
"If you are satisfied,
we can arrange for Tian Tiezui to tell this tale across Liyue."
"Yes, we must honor our Liyue Thunder God properly!"
Ganyu earnestly agreed.
Keqing rolled her eyes.
Enjoy your fun while you can,
she thought.
Next up…
was Ganyu's turn.
Transcendent Chat Group
People finally recovered.
Venti: Wonderful! You connected everything!
You'd make a better bard than me!
Xingqiu: Humorous yet well-structured.
Truly impressive!
Ayaka: Remarkable storytelling!
Paimon: Traveler is amazing!!
Alice: How many web novels have you read?!
Lumine: Hehe. Good read, right?
Keqing: It was impressive.
Signora: Why am I the villain AGAIN?!
Childe: Just accept it!
Dying to the Liyue Thunder God is an honor! (evil grin)
Yae Miko: Better than our official Thunder God.
Eightfold Pavilion should publish it!
Furina: No, no—make it a stage play! Or a film!!
Lumine: As long as I get royalties, anything goes!
Villa — Blue Star
Arthur finished reading and burst out laughing.
"As expected of someone whose novel got published by Yae Publishing House."
"If Lumine lived on Blue Star, she'd definitely be a web-novel queen."
"'The Legendary Life of Liyue's Thunder God'—
that practically summarizes Keqing's entire unserious evaluation arc."
He stretched.
"Alright…"
"Now it's finally Ganyu's turn."
"Hehe…"
"Time to talk about her childhood."
To read advanced Chapters, head over to p@treon:
patreon.com/nani_kaito