Jade Chamber — Liyue
"'Mixed Offal Master'?"
Ganyu blinked.
"…Is that referring to Lady Keqing?"
As far as she knew, Keqing's family dealt in land and construction.
How did that turn into… mixed offal?
Did she secretly change careers?
Keqing herself was equally baffled.
"It should be talking about me.
But my family has never been in the food business."
"My favorite dish is Golden Shrimp Balls.
That has absolutely nothing to do with mixed offal."
"If anyone fits the term 'Mixed Offal Master,' it'd be Xiangling, right?"
Keqing rubbed her temples.
The previous "unserious evaluations," she could—barely—understand.
Even the part about Electro Slimes being immune to her attacks, while outrageous, still made some sense…
She was an Electro Vision holder after all.
But this?
Mixed offal?
There was no connection whatsoever.
She ran through her entire life and family history.
Nothing.
"Looks like the light-screen finally made a mistake!"
"I have zero relation to a mixed-offal chef!"
But Ningguang disagreed.
"No. The one behind the light-screen is unreliable, yes…
but his impressions are never baseless."
"Every evaluation so far has had some root."
"So there must be something we're overlooking."
Transcendent Chat Group
Lumine: Mixed Offal Master? What kind of title is that??
Venti: The tone really changed from the previous evaluations!
Xiangling: Wait—Keqing isn't just Liyue's Thunder Archon… she's also a mixed-offal chef? (mischievous.jpg)
Keqing: …
Zhongli: Judging from the pattern, this will not be unrelated.
Ayaka: But Lady Keqing is the Yuheng of the Qixing… how could she be tied to mixed offal?
Paimon: Food??
Keqing: My favorite food is Golden Shrimp Balls.
Furina: Huh… this is difficult.
Nahida: Let's watch the light-screen explain.
Blue Star — Villa
Arthur smiled.
"Yes, normally Keqing has no connection with mixed offal whatsoever."
"But thanks to certain… peculiarities… she received the title anyway."
"I'll play a few of her voice lines. Then you'll understand."
He clicked play.
Keqing's Elemental Burst Lines
"No escape!"
"Sword, follow my command!"
"As one with my blade—cut down the… riffraff!"
(repeat)
Jade Chamber — Liyue
Keqing repeated softly:
"No escape."
"Sword, follow my command."
"As one with my blade… cut down the— unworthy…"
She frowned.
Everything sounded normal.
She looked to Ningguang and Ganyu.
"…Did you two notice something?"
"Of course."
Ningguang smiled mysteriously, tapping her pipe.
Ganyu nodded.
"Yes… it was hidden in plain sight."
Keqing grew anxious.
"Don't be cryptic! Tell me! Don't let the person involved be the only one who doesn't get the joke!"
Ganyu said gently:
"Keqing, read the third line again.
Quickly."
Keqing took a breath.
"As one with my blade, cut down the rab—"
Let my sword's light be as I am—cutting down all that is impure and chaotic—"
"Impure and chaotic…"
"Beef… offal…
"Cut down the mixed offal??"
She froze.
"WHAT?! That's the explanation??"
As the user of the ability for years, she'd never made that connection.
Who in the world first discovered this??
Transcendent Chat Group
Paimon: What is it?? I can't figure it out!!
Xiangling: It becomes "cut down the mixed offal" if you say it fast!
Lumine: Brilliant. Completely unserious.
Ayaka: The first person who realized this must be a genius!
Alice: "Cut down the mixed offal"—Mixed Offal Master—Master Keqing! Yes, very logical!
Venti: Then the Yunlai Sword Style becomes the Mixed-Offal Sword Style too?
Furina: Master Keqing? Mixed-Offal Sword Style? Then Keqing probably cooks mixed offal really well!
Ei: Oh?
Yae Miko: Liyue's Thunder Archon can both cook and sing. My dear friend must be sobbing from jealousy~
Charlotte: Ahem… Lady Yuheng, thoughts?
Keqing: …
Master Keqing?
Mixed-Offal Sword Style??
Keqing felt her soul leave her body.
She opened her mouth to deny everything—
—but then the left side of the light-screen changed.
Something new was loading.
Blue Star — Villa
Arthur grinned.
"So you all understand now."
"Yes—Keqing's 'Mixed Offal Master' title came from that."
"And she even has a full single because of it."
"Everyone, please enjoy Keqing's original hit—
'My Grilled Mixed Offal'!"
He clicked play.
The world froze.
Keqing's heart dropped into the abyss.
A song?
With that title??
No respectable song had a name like that!
She wanted to shut off the screen.
Too late.
Light-Screen Video — Wanmin Restaurant, Liyue
Keqing stood before a little roadside stall—
short body, huge bobblehead, chibi proportions.
Cute.
But also vaguely cursed.
She was grilling skewers of mixed offal while singing enthusiastically:
"Have you tasted this fragrant taste before?"
"Have you tried this spicy feeling before?"
"Have you heard the voice of Liyue's rising star before?"
She bobbed her head.
Closed her eyes dramatically.
Completely immersed.
Then the chorus hit—
and she unleashed herself:
"The real grilled mixed offal—
is SUPER powerful!!"
"Let you taste REAL lime!!"
"A flavor that's TRULY unique~~~!!"
"Offal, offal—GRILLED OFFAL!!"
"MYYYY GRILLED OFFFFAAALLLL!!"
"Eat it and be happy EVERY DAY!"
"Offal, offal—GRILLED OFFAL!!"
"MYYYY GRILLED OFFFFAAALLLL!!"
"Eat it and feel energetic morning to NIGHT—!!"
The song.
The voice.
The movements.
The expressions.
It was an assault on the soul.
Even Arataki Itto—universe-class loudmouth—
stood frozen.
Hand over mouth.
Other hand pointing at Keqing.
Pure horror.
Mondstadt — Cathedral
"This… this is 'My Grilled Mixed Offal'…?"
Barbara's jaw dropped.
She thought the title was strange, yes,
but she expected the song to be okay.
Not… whatever THIS was.
She shuddered.
"Thank goodness my segment was a normal idol song…"
After seeing Keqing's suffering,
her own "unserious titles" suddenly didn't feel so bad.
Perspective truly was everything.
She whispered a guilty apology in her heart.
Inazuma — Tenshukaku
"Ara~ not bad at all!"
"Lady Keqing's single is delightful!"
Yae Miko smiled as if watching art.
Ei and Sara turned toward her, speechless.
That… was good?
That… thing?
Ei stared.
Sara stared.
What in Narukami's name did Guuji Yae normally watch?!
"Hmm? You disapprove?"
Miko tilted her head innocently.
Then, sly as ever, she leaned toward Ei.
"Keqing is the Yuheng, Liyue's Thunder Archon…
not only can she cook mixed offal, she can sing."
"Ei~
Can you do that?"
Ei: "…"
This fox was stabbing her right in the weakness.
And in front of her subordinate, no less!
She wanted to draw her blade.
But she couldn't refute it.
Then—
Sara stood.
She gently placed the precious Shogun figurine aside.
"Guuji Yae," she said firmly,
"The Shogun's exalted status means she need not cook personally."
"If she needs food, I will deliver it."
"If she needs songs, Lady Ayaka has already joined the idol group."
"If one performer isn't enough, I can bring the other three as well!"
Miko blinked.
Ei exhaled in relief.
A good subordinate.
Truly loyal.
But Miko wasn't done.
"But Ei is the real Thunder Archon."
"And if the Liyue Thunder Archon can cook and sing…
then surely the true Thunder Archon should not be inferior?"
"No one dares insult the Shogun!"
"…Enough."
Ei cut them off.
She had planned to watch in silence—
but the bickering was giving her a headache.
She stood.
"You're right," she said seriously.
"If that so-called 'Liyue Thunder Archon' can cook mixed offal and sing—
then I cannot fall behind."
"I will cook something.
Wait here."
Ei walked toward the kitchen.
Sara: "YES, SHOGUN!"
Her eyes sparkled.
A Shogun-cooked meal!
Such honor!!
But Yae Miko's face froze.
Sara didn't know.
But Miko did.
Ei's cooking was… catastrophic.
She shuddered at the memory.
"Perhaps… I should leave…"
But a whisper floated to her ear.
"Miko~
Don't even think about escaping."
"Or I'll visit the Grand Narukami Shrine myself."
"You don't want the shrine maidens to see, right?"
Yae Miko: "…"
She was trapped.
This was karma.
Today was truly…
a terrible day.
Jade Chamber — Liyue
"My… grilled mixed offal…"
Keqing watched the video with dead eyes.
This was worse than she feared.
She thought, at worst, she'd be on a stage singing—
embarrassing but manageable.
Instead—
She got a cursed chibi body
a bizarre voice
and a demonic dance.
Her reputation as the elegant Yuheng?
Gone.
"Why is it always me…"
Keqing wanted to cry.
Ganyu patted her lightly.
"Well… not everything is bad."
"And being called 'Liyue's Thunder Archon' is technically high praise."
Ningguang nodded.
"In a world ruled by gods,
to be associated with an Archon is—
an extraordinary honor."
Keqing: "…"
…She couldn't completely refute that.
She glanced at everyone else's humiliations.
Barbara's cursed medical memes…
Signora being killed repeatedly…
Lumine's "LSP-filter"…
the Executives roasted daily…
Compared to that,
"mixed offal" didn't seem that terrible.
She took a deep breath.
"…I see."
"As long as I'm not the only one suffering—
it's not so bad."
"No wonder the Traveler always recovers so fast…"
"Truly enlightening."
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