Jade Chamber
After the previous two humiliation rounds, Keqing lay sprawled on the table, mentally exhausted.
She looked almost exactly like Ganyu earlier—
even her twin "cat-ear" ahoges wilted pitifully.
But the words "lifelong nemesis" drifted in from the light-screen—
—and her ears twitched.
She shot upright instantly.
"Wait—
My lifelong nemesis?"
"Could it be that I… face some terrifying foe in the future?!"
That got her attention.
Beside her, Ganyu hesitated, wanting to warn her, and finally said softly:
"Yuheng Lady… the light-screen said it's the Electro Slime."
"Oh, the Electro—"
"…what?"
"Electro Slime?"
Keqing froze.
Surely she misheard?
But Ganyu nodded solemnly.
A single Electro Slime?
Why would that be her lifelong nemesis?
Keqing frowned deeply.
"That must be a mistake.
If it said 'Electro Hypostasis,' I could understand…"
She looked back at the light-screen, waiting for clarification.
Blue Star — Villa
Arthur sighed emotionally.
In the actual Genshin Impact game, Electro Slimes are fully immune to Electro damage.
Even the Raiden Shogun can't shock them.
But…
Keqing and Raiden Shogun are the two most famous Electro characters.
And thanks to countless meme players doing cursed challenge runs…
their tragic battles against Electro Slimes became legendary.
Deep-rooted. Everlasting.
With nostalgia, Arthur clicked on the video.
[Keqing vs. Slimes]
(⊙_⊙)
Ahem.
The title looked a bit questionable,
but the content was very serious.
The footage began.
A lonely path outside Liyue Harbor.
For unknown reasons, a dozen Electro Slimes had gathered there, crackling with purple lightning.
It was unsafe for travelers.
A graceful figure passed by—
Keqing.
As Yuheng, she would never ignore this.
Shing—!
Sword drawn.
She dashed into the group like violet lightning.
Her movements were crisp, sharp, elegant—
Yunlai Swordsmanship!
Swish!
Swish!
Swish!
Thunder crackled across the clearing, like a miniature thunderstorm.
And then—
IMMUNE.
IMMUNE.
IMMUNE.
IMMUNE × 999
With each strike, the screen was filled with the dreaded purple Immune popup.
All of Teyvat fell silent.
Ordinary Chat Group
Harry: Wait, I'm not hallucinating, right? Electro Slimes are this strong?!
Xavier: No mistake. They're COMPLETELY immune to Yuheng's Lightning Blade! Terrifying…
Selvini: I've never seen such a thing. Perhaps Liyue's slimes evolved??
Tian Tiezui: Doesn't sound like anything I've heard of either.
Master Mao: Maybe it's a future mutation… but hey, as a lifelong nemesis? I can see it now!
…
Light-Screen Footage Continues
Keqing in the video was clearly stunned.
All that speed, precision, and thunderous flair—
only to achieve nothing but IMMUNE spam.
But she refused to accept defeat.
Electro surged again as she resumed her Yunlai stance—
only to receive more:
IMMUNE.
IMMUNE.
IMMUNE…
Finally, Keqing gritted her teeth and unleashed her burst—
"There is no escape!"
"Starward Sword!"
"Flickering lights, sever the clouds!"
But even the ultimate move—
IMMUNE.
IMMUNE.
IMMUNE…
Everything… immune.
Keqing was utterly stunned.
Yet, as Liyue's Yuheng, she could not back down.
So she did the only thing she could—
Normal attacks. One chip of damage at a time.
Thus began the legendary scene:
Keqing, the Yuheng of Liyue… engaged in ten minutes of slow, painful chip-damage "shaving therapy."
One…
tiny…
slimey…
hit…
at a time.
Until every Electro Slime finally burst.
All of Teyvat was paralyzed.
Transcendent Chat Group
Lumine: Wow… so Liyue's Electro Slimes are that strong? No wonder they're her lifelong nemesis!
Paimon: Immune… immune… immune… it's haunting Paimon's brain…
Jean: Cough. I'm sure Yuheng's skill is far superior. This… um… presentation is probably exaggerated…
Alice: This is literal scraping. Watching it feels like torture.
Yae Miko: I wonder… can these slimes also ignore Ei's attacks~?
Ei: Try it and see if my naginata is still sharp.
…
Keqing: SLANDER! All slander! That video is fabricated!!
Furina: Huh? Why does that line sound so familiar? (smirk)
Lumine: …
Barbara: …
Zhongli: According to common sense, Liyue should not have such powerful Electro Slimes.
Xiangling: Right! I've never run into something like that!
Yae Miko: Really? I don't believe it.
Lumine: Really? I don't believe it.
Venti: Really? I don't believe it.
Charlotte: Really? I don't believe it.
…
Jade Chamber
Keqing looked at the chat scroll by—
and completely shut down.
She—
the noble Yuheng of Liyue.
Holder of the Electro Vision.
Master of Yunlai Swordsmanship.
Symbol of efficiency.
And her "lifelong nemesis" is—
a S L I M E???
"This is slander…
ALL SLANDER…!"
Ganyu tried comforting her:
"It's okay, Yuheng Lady. Next time, you can livestream defeating an Electro Slime to prove yourself."
"…that's actually a good idea."
Keqing perked slightly.
But then—
Ningguang's voice drifted in, cool and gentle:
"Unless…
it ends up being immune, immune, immune again."
"Impossible!!
Absolutely impossible!!"
Keqing slammed the table, fur bristling.
She KNEW it was fake—
but the video was so vivid and realistic that she felt mild trauma creeping in.
Ten minutes of chip damage…
the endless purple Immune text…
She suddenly imagined lifting her blanket tonight and—
an Electro Slime pops out.
IMMUNE. IMMUNE. IMMUNE.
Keqing shivered.
Ningguang and Ganyu exchanged looks.
Is she… actually traumatized?
Blue Star — Villa
Arthur enjoyed the clip thoroughly.
Keqing's suffering truly had a unique charm.
He laughed:
"Poor Keqing.
So determined and hardworking—
yet defeated by a single slime."
"But it's fine!
Life is full of ups and downs.
Don't bully the 'shaving girl'—
one day she'll shave her revenge!"
In the Jade Chamber, Keqing's mouth twitched.
She had a bad feeling—
that even if she killed a real Electro Slime later,
this title would never disappear.
Like "I Am Kamisato Ayaka's Dog."
Like "Barbara, the Exorcist with Bare Hands."
Some titles were eternal…
Keqing slumped back into her chair.
Transcendent Chat Group
Keqing: I'm tired. Let the world end…
Paimon: Haha! After Barbara, Keqing is turning into Lumine 2.0!
Venti: Don't give up, young girl! Life has its ups and downs—don't bully tomorrow's shaving queen!
Yae Miko: Yes, yes. And tomorrow you'll shave more immune results, right?
Lumine: Don't worry! It gets better later!
Keqing: Why?
Barbara: Because… you get used to it.
Keqing: ...
Blue Star — Villa
After closing the video, Arthur smiled brightly.
"So! That concludes Keqing's battle with her lifelong nemesis!"
"A duel of fated rivals!
A showdown between genius and ooze!"
"Now—
let us witness her other legendary form."
"Non-serious item number four—
'The Thunder Archon of Liyue.'"
Instantly, all of Teyvat froze.
Because this time—
the joke involved a God.
Travelers messing around was one thing.
Barbara becoming an AK-wielding medic was one thing.
But calling someone a new Archon?
That was serious.
Ordinary Chat Group
Zheping: The Thunder Archon of Liyue? Huh??
Nagano Sachiko: Isn't the Raiden Shogun the only Electro Archon?
Lawrence: Does this mean… there are more than seven Archons?
Grand Sage: Liyue created their own god?
Uncle Tian: Impossible! That would be blasphemy! Also—why did you say "also"?
Grand Sage: …Misspoke.
Master Mao: I've only heard of Morax, the Stove God, and some adepti.
Tian Tiezui: Hm… "Liyue's Thunder Archon" sounds like a great story title. I should write that down!
…
Jade Chamber
"Li… Liyue's Thunder Archon?"
Keqing shot up straight once more.
First she can't beat slimes.
Now she's a god?
This light-screen's mood swings were too abrupt!
If she weren't strong-willed, she might have collapsed by now.
Ganyu murmured:
"Maybe… it means your strength rivals a god?"
Ningguang shook her head.
"Let's watch first."
When divine matters are mentioned, one must be cautious.
Mondstadt — Stormterror's Lair
"Liyue's Thunder Archon?"
Venti raised a brow with interest.
As one of the original Seven, he clearly knew no such Archon existed.
This must be a joke.
Like Barbara's "armed medic."
Still—
Venti looked excited.
Entertainment value: very high.
"Oh? You seem pleased," Dvalin said.
"Of course!
Aside from drinking, these non-serious reviews are the highlight of my day!"
If even the God of Freedom was a born mischief-maker,
what hope did Keqing have…
Wangsheng Funeral Parlor
"Liyue's Thunder Archon?"
Hu Tao scratched her chin.
Probably just a joke.
How could Liyue have a thunder god?
But then she glanced sideways at Zhongli…
"…wait."
"Maybe it's possible!"
"After all, even Zhongli turned out to be—"
She stopped herself.
But her mind raced.
If her tiny funeral parlor could casually contain a mysterious, ancient, super-knowledgeable "consultant"…
then Liyue's Yuheng having a divine secret identity…
wasn't impossible.
Hu Tao's eyes lit up and she hopped beside Zhongli.
"Heyyy, Consultant! You know tons of stuff, right?"
"Is Keqing actually the Thunder Archon of Liyue?"
"Was she appointed by Rex Lapis? Or by the Raiden Shogun?"
"Why hide her identity for so many years?"
"And if there's a Liyue Thunder Archon, is there a Liyue Hydro Archon? A Liyue Pyro Archon?"
"And if we have a Geo Archon, do other nations have their own Geo Archons—?"
"—and—"
Zhongli: ...
Where did this girl suddenly get infinite questions?
Could someone please carry her away…
Inazuma — Tenshukaku
Ei, Miko, and Sara were watching the light-screen together.
(Also, Miko was here to pick up her figurine.
And Sara was here to deliver food.)
"Liyue's Thunder Archon?"
Miko smirked.
"Ei, seems like you've lost your title~"
"No matter."
Ei waved a hand calmly.
"It's clearly a joke."
After seeing so many chaotic reviews, she was no longer surprised.
And after dealing with Lumine,
her tolerance for blasphemy had increased significantly.
Still—
Ei couldn't help wondering…
Why Keqing?
Why that specific title?
Miko noticed Ei's thoughtful expression and raised a brow.
"…looks like she really HAS changed."
She picked up her chopsticks to eat tofu,
but then her gaze slid to Sara—
upright, stiff, reverent.
A sly smile curled on Miko's lips.
Hehehe~
Kujou Sara…
You don't want your precious Shogun figurine to gather dust, do you?
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