Makarov's perched on the bar counter, slamming his mug down with a frown that could curdle milk.
"Gildarts," he says, voice low but slicing through the guild's usual chaos like a hot knife. "That century quest—how'd it go?"
"Hah!" Gildarts scratches the back of his head, flashing a grin that's all teeth and zero shame. "Total bust. Barely scratched the surface."
Failure?!
The word hits the guild like a goddamn meteor. Jaws drop. Eyes bug out.
"That Gildarts—failed?!"
"What the hell kinda job is this that even he can't crack?!"
Gildarts waves 'em off, gaze locking onto Roger across the room, tone dropping into something darker. "Client demanded confidentiality, so lips sealed on the details. But—on the way, I ran into that black dragon from Roger's crystal ball prophecy."
He pauses, rough face twitching like he's reliving a nightmare. "Thing's power? Fucked. My Crash Magic hit it like I was tossing pebbles at a tank. Didn't even itch the bastard."
"Good thing Roger tipped me off. I clocked the gap in our leagues, booked it the hell out. Lucky for me, the dragon wasn't in a murder mood—didn't chase. Otherwise? I'd be dragon chow."
He shrugs, helpless. "But yeah. Dragon squatting on the job site? Quest's officially screwed."
Makarov's quiet for a beat, stroking his snow-white beard. "You're breathing. That's what matters."
"Quest's a wash. Century jobs are built to break balls. Don't sweat it."
He hops off the bar, voice shifting gears. "But perfect timing—you're back. Need a private word."
Gildarts follows without a peep. They vanish upstairs while the guild explodes into gossip louder than Natsu on a bender.
Next day.
The main hall's gutted—tables shoved against walls, leaving a wide-open arena. Members pack in tight, buzzing like hornets on crack, eyes gleaming with bloodlust and hype.
Makarov's up on the north stage, Roger front and center behind him. Mira, Erza, Laxus, and Gildarts line up like a goddamn firing squad of S-Class badasses.
Makarov clears his throat, eyes blazing as he scans the crowd. "By Fairy Tail's ancient-ass rules, it's time to drop this year's S-Class promotion exam roster!"
"HELL YEAH!!!"
The roar nearly blows the roof off.
"Quiet!" Erza steps forward, brow twitching.
One word. Silence. Front-row newbies shrink like she's about to gut 'em.
(Classic Erza.) Makarov smirks internally, then booms: "Exam's on Tenrou Island—our holy fuckin' ground!"
"I've watched every damn one of you grow balls of steel this past year. Eight mages made the cut!"
1. Natsu Dragneel!
"HELL YEAH!" Flames erupt around Natsu as he slams fist into palm, tiger fangs bared. "This year? S-Class or BUST!"
2. Gray Fullbuster!
Gray smirks, arms crossed. "Knew it."
3. Lisanna Strauss!
"WOO!" Lisanna throws both hands up, beaming. "Finally in!"
4. Elfman Strauss!
"REAL MEN GO S-CLASS!" Elfman roars, flexing like a gorilla on steroids.
5. Cana Alberona!
Cana chugs from her bottle, lazy drawl. "Hope the later rounds don't suck too bad."
6. Freed Justine!
Freed glances at Laxus, chin high. "For the Raijinshuu, this is child's play."
7. Levy McGarden!
"YES!" Levy tackle-hugs Lucy. "Lu-chan! I'm in the S-Class exam!"
"Congrats, Levy!" Lucy hugs back, grinning.
8. Ultear Milkovich!
Gray's eyes bulge. "UL—ULTEAR?! You're taking the exam?!"
Ultear smirks, hand on hip. "S-Class quests require S-Class rank. Duh."
Gray's brain blue-screens. "But you were already S-Class—"
He whispers, "Just ask the old man to reinstate you!"
Ultear shakes her head, eyes sharp. "He offered. But everyone here's busted their ass. Special treatment 'cause of my past? That'd piss people off."
She steps up, ruffling Gray's hair like old times. "Besides, that Ultear's dead. I'm Fairy Tail's Ul now. I earn this shit fair and square."
"Maybe we'll clash in the exam," she grins. "And this master won't go easy, kid."
Gray puffs up. "Bring it! I've been grinding. Lose to me and don't cry, Sensei!"
"HA!" Ultear laughs, messing his hair harder. "That's my line, punk!"
Makarov cuts in: "First-timers, listen up! Exam rules!"
Mira steps forward, smiling sweet. "Eight candidates. One week. Pick a partner to run the gauntlet with. Two-man teams. Tests your bond as much as your balls."
Roger, arms crossed: "Rules: 1) Fairy Tail member only. 2) No current S-Class partners."
Makarov: "Full details on Tenrou. But—Erza and Roger are your main gatekeepers. They'll wreck your dreams."
"o_O!!!"
Gasps ripple like a gut punch.
Erza steps up, eyes slicing through the crowd, smile sharp as her swords. "The path to S-Class is a meat grinder. Like real jobs—shit goes sideways. Only the hardcore survive."
She clenches a fist, battle-lust blazing. "STRUGGLE, YOU BASTARDS! Your enemies sure as hell won't pull punches—so neither will I!"
Everyone but Natsu (still hyped) goes ghost-white. We're fucked.
Mira waves cutely. "Oh, and I'm an examiner too~!"
Heart-shatter SFX.
"Don't worry!" Mira winks. "My test's different. Make me laugh, show me guts, and you pass~"
Lucy twitches. "Why's 'funny' a metric—"
Lisanna and Elfman collapse like deflated balloons. "Gotta fight Sis/Mira-nee—we're dead."
Lucy facepalms. "Already giving up?! Fight, dammit!"
Gildarts booms: "Every S-Class crawled through this hell. Suck it up."
Levy, trembling: "W-Wait—Gildarts is examining too?!"
"Damn right!" He flashes a thumbs-up at Cana. "Even for my little girl—I ain't holdin' back!"
Pink flower aura. "But you'll always be Daddy's strongest~!"
Cana's eye twitches. "Dad, pick a lane."
She points at Laxus. "So if all you monsters are examiners—"
Natsu screams in glee: "LAXUS TOO?! FUCK YEAH!"
Gray: "That's not a good thing, fire idiot!"
Laxus smirks, golden sparks crackling. "Try not to die too quick. I'm bored."
BOOM.
All hope crumbles. Contestants petrify, then collapse into dust like sad sandcastles.
Gray revives first, pointing accusingly. "OLD MAN! This is BULLSHIT!"
"These guys are beyond Wizard Saints! We're screwed!"
"And wasn't the rule 'beat Erza or Roger = instant S-Class'?! Why's the whole damn lineup ganging up?!"
Makarov sweats. "Uh—everyone's gotten too strong! Gotta up the difficulty to weed out the weak!"
Crowd: visible despair.
"BUT!" He throws a bone. "This year? Four slots open! Half of you eight teams make it!"
"And old rule stands—if you earn Roger or Erza's respect, or beat either one? Instant S-Class. No more tests."
Hope flickers. Four slots. Shortcut. Maybe…
They glance at the five S-Class titans looming like gods.
…Nah. Still fucked.
Makarov: "One week. Lock in partners. Noon, Hargeon Port. Miss it? You're out. DISMISSED!"
Lucy sneaks a glance at Cana, gulps, starts tiptoeing away. "S-So I just remembered this super urgent—"
A hand clamps her shoulder.
Cana's voice, dripping resentment: "Miss 'Contracts Are Sacred'—you wouldn't ditch your partner, right~?"
Lucy: QAQ "B-But we might fight any of those five! We'll get pulverized!"
She whimpers. "If we draw Erza—she'll murder us!"
Cana slings an arm around her. "Chill! With our luck? No way we pull Erza first round."
Lucy side-eyes. "Why do I feel like you just jinxed us—"
Cana's temple pops. Arm locks Lucy in a chokehold. "You sayin' I'm bad luck, huh?!"
"S-SORRY! I TAKE IT BACK!"
Both freeze.
Lucy: "…Wait. That tone—you sounded like Aquarius."
Cana: "You callin' me a bitchy water bottle?!"
She noogies Lucy, then whips out a card with a creepy eye. "Behold! Secret weapon!"