Chapter 429 – Big Sis Is Very Busy, You Know~
"Hahaha~ hahahaha~ You're really in a sorry state, Kitahara. I thought you'd be able to shake them off much faster."
"Yeah, yeah! Big bro, you were way too slow! Thehehehehe~"
Iori: (▼皿▼＃)
At the ice cream stand, Iori, dressed in tattered clothes and looking utterly miserable, stood up and glared furiously at the shameless duo—one big, one small—standing in front of him.
He seriously wanted to dissect these two idiots and see how words that cold could possibly come out of a mouth that was perfectly normal!
Wasn't the very reason he'd ended up in such a pathetic state because of these two bastards licking ice cream?!
And they didn't even give him any!
"You two jerks, do you have any idea how hard it was for me to escape?! And I still had to find clothes in all that chaos. Back then I— …sob, sob, sob!"
Before Iori could finish speaking, his mouth was stuffed full with creamy ice cream.
Shiori looked up at her big brother with sparkling eyes and a bright smile.
"Big brother, have some ice cream~"
Looking into Shiori's clear eyes, Iori was suddenly transported back to the first time she ever cooked.
Back then, she'd been incredibly clumsy, and with that same smile, she'd stuffed a piece of completely burnt salmon into his mouth.
That taste…
Σ_(???」∠) Gah!
Because the memory was far too vivid, Iori retched on the spot. He didn't know if it was just psychological, but he felt like this ice cream had a weird flavor too.
Σ( ° △ °|||)︴
Only after spitting it out did Iori realize something was very wrong.
This wasn't burnt salmon—it was Shiori's heartfelt feeding!
Just when Iori thought Shiori would get angry, and he was already preparing himself to apologize, reality turned out to be completely different.
Not only did Shiori not get mad, she even pulled Kamishiro aside with a strange expression to whisper to him.
"Did Kitahara realize this ice cream fell on the ground?"
"That's impossible. I already brushed all the dust off. With Nii sama's IQ, there's no way he'd notice."
"Then why did he react like that?"
The two tilted their heads, both seeing deep confusion in each other's eyes.
So… how did he find out?
(▼皿▼＃)
Crack!
Iori's fist clenched tight.
He'd been feeling guilty just a moment ago, but now he completely snapped. So in the end, giving him ice cream was just a prank?!
That was way too inhuman!
And also—
Could you two at least whisper a bit farther away?! I heard everything!
"You bastards, do you take me for a trash can?!"
He'd just been ravaged once already, and now he didn't even have the right to eat a normal ice cream—was this the distortion of human nature or the collapse of morality?!
At this rate, he was seriously going to call a legal TV show to seek justice!
"Hey, calm down, Kitahara."
Kamishiro patted Iori on the shoulder soothingly and, like an angel, handed him another ice cream.
"Look on the bright side—at least we didn't waste a perfectly good ice cream just now!"
"..."
Iori fell silent.
Why did that suddenly make it sound like his fault?
His retching had just been a conditioned reflex, after all. That first piece of salmon really had left an indelible impression on him.
Looking at the ice cream in his hand, Iori felt not the slightest bit happy—somehow it felt like Kamishiro was mocking him.
After struggling internally for a full minute, Iori let it go and took a huge bite.
(￣～￣)
Whatever!
Only idiots pass up free stuff. Even if this was that scumbag Kamishiro's sarcasm, so what? Once it's eaten, it's gone!
Seeing this, Kamishiro wasn't surprised at all. Idiots were like this—they never dwelled on one thing for too long.
As he ate, Iori finally remembered the main issue and glared viciously at Kamishiro.
"No way, I want a refund! Who the hell goes to a theme park with their little sister?!"
What he wanted was a sparkly, glittering girl who could help him step onto the ladder of manhood!
Not his own sister, who was wholeheartedly dedicated to screwing her brother over—a pitch-black-on-the-inside little devil!
Hearing her brother's heartless words, Shiori's expression didn't change. She still wore that gentle smile.
It was just that behind the smile, resentment had already condensed into thick black mist.
She'd specially changed out of her kimono into a cute white dress just to come out and play with her big brother.
If this idiot big brother dared to ditch her…
The Kitahara household might end up becoming a single-child family~
Feeling that intense killing intent, Iori didn't even dare meet his sister's eyes. He stubbornly turned to look at his childhood friend instead.
"Don't say it like that, Kitahara. You're holding a two-person discount ticket, not a couple's ticket. As a big brother, bringing your little sister out to have fun is totally normal, right?"
"Mm-hm, totally normal!"
Shiori echoed enthusiastically. She was absolutely going to enjoy this boar-themed amusement park—no one was stopping her!
Watching the two of them work together so smoothly, Iori got so angry he crushed the cone in his hand. He rushed over, grabbed Kamishiro by the collar, and shook him violently.
"If that's the case, why the hell don't you come with your own sister, huh?! You've got a sister too, don't you, bastard?!"
(???)
Being shaken like crazy, Kamishiro looked at Iori as if he were an idiot.
"Do you seriously want to bring a two-year-old little girl to a place like this?"
OHHHHHHH!!!!
As Kamishiro's words fell, the excited screams of roller coaster riders rang out not far away.
On the other side, there were also shrill cries from people on the drop tower!
Iori: "..."
Great. He'd completely forgotten that this bastard's sister was still a two-year-old toddler—an age where she still needed someone to accompany her even to ride a merry-go-round.
Thinking of that, Iori collapsed to his knees, utterly drained and emo.
"It might as well have been better to look for a girl myself!"
"Find one yourself?"
Kamishiro looked at Kitahara with a somewhat strange expression. Since when did Kitahara have that kind of skill? How come he didn't know about it?
"Who exactly can you find?"
"Either Chisa or the Aina just one of them is enough!"
Iori said confidently. Although he didn't know as many girls as Kamishiro did, he was way better off than Yamamoto and the others. After all, he was a man with a girlfriend!
"Uh…"
"I don't really want to hit you where it hurts, but I still have to say this—Chisa and Aina should be at Ocean World right now, enjoying the scenery."
Hearing this, Iori's expression shook. He suddenly remembered—yeah, those two really had said they were going to some Shark Scramble World or something.
Damn it!
Why did it have to be now?!
"Wait, if those two aren't reliable, then I still have Nanaka san!"
A beautiful big sister was definitely reliable!
"Well… Nanaka-nee is reliable, but between you and her customers, who do you think she'd choose?"
Iori's hand, which was just about to dial Nanaka's number, froze in midair. He turned a murderous gaze toward Kamishiro.
Kamishiro shrugged helplessly.
"Even if you look at me like that, it won't change Nanaka-nee's desire to make money."
Forget Kitahara even if Kamishiro himself invited her, without someone to cover her shift, Nanaka-nee wouldn't leave.
After all, to her customers, she was also a reliable big sister!
"I still have Azusa san!!!"
Iori unleashed his ultimate move. With Azusa san, there definitely wouldn't be any problem, right? And this would be the perfect chance to properly explain his relationship with Kohei to her!
They really were as pure as pure could be—a totally wholesome male–male relationship!
Kamishiro: (;＿;)
This…
Looking at Kitahara's almost desperate expression, Kamishiro couldn't bring himself to tell him that Azusa-nee was actually his companion.
"Wake up already. Azusa-nee has things to do too. But seriously, is it really that bad? Would you rather accept the punishment than go with Shiori?"
At Kamishiro's reminder, Iori finally remembered—they'd set a punishment before coming hadn't they?!
"Punishment? Is big brother going to be punished?"
Shiori asked innocently, though there was a hint of schadenfreude mixed into that innocence.
Serves you right for not wanting to go to Boar Park with me!
"You look pretty happy about it…"
Iori stared at his sister with a speechless expression. Just how much did she want him to be punished?!
That punishment wasn't something a human could endure at all!
But Shiori was probably going to be disappointed—there was no way the one being punished would be him!
Thinking about it that way, Iori felt like he should actually thank Shiori. After all, the thing they'd bet on was way too bizarre…
The corner of Iori's mouth twitched. Normally speaking, how could he have been so reckless as to accept that bet? Sure enough, he'd fallen for Kamishiro's provocation.
His mind kept replaying the scene from earlier, when Kamishiro handed them the discount coupons.
At the time, they'd been completely unimpressed. After all, it was just a discount coupon, not a free pass—hardly worth giving up their plan to sink Kamishiro into the sea.
However, one single sentence from Kamishiro completely changed their stance.
"You guys… don't tell me you don't have any girls you can go with?"
That line struck straight at the pride of all three of them!
Damn it!
What do you mean no girls to go with? That was way too insulting!
If that had been all, they could've just ignored it and continued with their sinking-Kamishiro operation.
But unfortunately, at that exact moment, Kohei was holding the discount coupon and voicing his opinion.
"To us, this thing is just a piece of scrap paper."
That single sentence instantly ignited their rage!
One after another, they accepted the coupon, determined to prove just how good their luck with women really was.
Up until this point, everything was still fairly normal—just two idiots and one handsome guy trying to prove themselves.
As for the bet itself, when Iori thought about it carefully, it seemed like he was actually the decisive factor…
Because when he got the coupon, he remembered Kamishiro's earlier promise and felt like victory was already guaranteed. So he went wild, provoking Yamamoto and the others.
And just like that, the bet was born…
Incredibly hastily.
The punishment tied to the bet was even more hastily decided.
"Cover everyone else's expenses, plus one Shabby Impact Test and one 'Little Bird Drinking Water'!" (T/N: little birdie drinking water is how Yamamoto drank water of life)
Just thinking about that punishment made Iori's head start to ache.
It was no light punishment—it attacked money, body, and mind all at once!
They all knew that whoever lost would absolutely become the next top trending topic at Izu University!
Iori declared: his chance to turn the tables had arrived!
After today, the title of Izu University's biggest scumbag was about to change hands—there might even be dual kings born!
Given Yamamoto's and Nojima's popularity, he absolutely didn't believe those two could bring any girls at all.
Unless it was some legendary rental girlfriend!
And even then, there probably weren't many people willing to accept those two ugly and narcissistic guys.
Heh. Mere mortals who challenge a god—just wait to perform "Little Bird Drinking Water."
But…
That still wasn't what Iori wanted most.
Deep down, there was another fantasy lingering in his mind.
That fantasy was—
Kamishiro being the one who got punished!
That's right!
He wanted the girls of Izu University to see the lofty, godlike Kamishiro-sama in a completely miserable state!
Iori simply refused to believe that any girl could still like a guy after seeing him do "Little Bird Drinking Water"!
If there really was such a girl…
That would be—
Even more painful than killing him!
Japan doesn't need pure love!
Now, looking at Kamishiro, who still seemed to be all alone, Iori suddenly felt that his fantasy wasn't so unrealistic after all!
He immediately plastered on a hideous grin and leaned in close to Kamishiro.
"By the way, Kamishiro, where's the girl you came with? Don't tell me she stood you up~
If that's the case, then you'll have to obediently accept the punishment, you know~"
As he spoke, Iori creepily pulled out his phone and waved it in the air.
He couldn't wait to capture Kamishiro's moment of humiliation.
"Huh? Wasn't that a bet between the three of you?"
Kamishiro scratched his head in confusion. Since when had he joined such a dumb bet?
"Not at all! The participants of this bet include everyone who was present at the time!"
Iori's expression gradually became more and more unhinged.
He's panicking!
He's panicking!
Trying to distance himself from the bet now—that clearly meant he hadn't managed to ask any girl out!
Heh heh heh~
Kamishiro!
Who would've thought you'd see a day like this too?!
(???)
Looking at Kitahara, whose face was now so twisted it barely looked human, Kamishiro cast him a pitying glance, then turned to Shiori.
"Shiori, if you have time, you should take your brother to get his brain checked…"
Shiori: "No problem at all. Actually, Father and Mother have been wanting to take big brother for a thorough examination too."
"Hey, hey, hey—what do you mean by that, Shiori?! My body is perfectly healthy!"
He was the God of Land Combat, okay?! How could there be anything wrong with him?!
Shiori: =_=
Very well—looks like the checkup needs to happen as soon as possible. Ever since entering university, her big brother had truly been getting dumber and dumber.
At least before, he'd still resembled a normal human. Now…
A pervert who likes drinking, skipping class, and being naked?
Kamishiro also gave Shiori a sympathetic look. The Kitahara family really had it rough—producing a fool like this.
"I'm saying, Kitahara, you don't seriously think I'm lacking in girls, do you? If I wanted to, I'd already be off playing with a whole group of girls."
Hearing that, Iori's smile instantly froze on his face as he stood there dumbfounded.
It… kind of made sense.
Damn it!
He'd forgotten—this guy was basically a walking aphrodisiac!
How could he possibly lack girls?!
Damn, miscalculation!
"And besides, the person I invited is already here."
The moment Kamishiro finished speaking, a sweet, syrupy voice rang out.
"I didn't come too late, did I, Kamishiro kun~?"
Huh?!
That familiar voice?!
Iori jerked his head up. When he saw the familiar purple-haired big sister, his entire body turned to stone.
Me??? You??? Huh???!!!
Kamishiro!
You really deserve to die!