"Hello, Shiori!"
Since she already knew in advance that Shiori would be coming, Azusa wasn't surprised at all. With a happy smile, she pulled Shiori into her arms, generously providing a complimentary "face-in-bust" service.
"Uuugh~"
Wrapped up by two huge, soft mounds, Shiori struggled as if she were drowning, her hands flailing desperately in the air.
This caused the two big white rabbits to bounce around nonstop. Clearly, everyone was full of vitality~
"Kamishiro Shiro, you bastard!!!"
Seeing this scene, Iori's eyes bulged like bronze bells. His emotions exploded so hard that he directly shouted Kamishiro's full name.
"Huh? Kitahara, when did you pick up the bad habit of calling people by their full names?"
Kamishiro looked at Iori with a disappointed expression. Calling him by his full name—this was practically an insult to their friendship!
What?
There was no friendship between them?
Ah, then never mind~
Iori: (▼皿▼＃)
"This is condemnation—condemnation, got it?! Didn't you say Azusa san had something really important to do?! Then why did she suddenly show up here?!"
"Eh? I wasn't wrong at all. Accompanying me to Boar Park on a date is a very important matter, isn't it~?"
(λ?_??)
Kamishiro smiled mischievously. That idiot Kitahara still wanted to make a move on his dear Azusa-nee—keep dreaming!
I'll crush you!
At this moment, Azusa finally released Shiori. After tidying up her camisole a bit, she patted Iori on the shoulder and said with a smile:
"I'm really sorry, Iori. You were one step too late Kamishiro already invited me earlier~"
With Azusa saying that, what could Iori do?
He could only grit his teeth and glare at Kamishiro.
"Well, that's really a shame!!"
Meanwhile, he had already started plotting how to sabotage their date.
This was a life lesson taught to him by a certain squinty-eyed guy when he was ten years old:
If you can't have it—destroy it!
To the side—
Seeing Iori's jealousy-driven, near-mad expression, Kamishiro instead grew excited.
"No shame at all, no shame~
Oh right, let's split up later."
"Why?!"
Kamishiro said innocently.
"Oh, I'm worried you'll be too noisy and disturb my happiness~
Of course, I'm also doing this for your sake. We're here to have fun, after all—being full of jealousy isn't exactly the right mindset for enjoying yourselves, you know."
"Pffft—hahahahahaha!"
Azusa-nee laughed cheerfully. Kamishiro's mouth was really sharp—he was clearly doing this on purpose to hurt people.
Meanwhile, Iori's face had turned green. Who told you he was here to have fun? He was obviously here to find the other half who could let him step into manhood!
No!
They absolutely couldn't split up—he was sticking to these two no matter what today!
After finishing her laughter, Azusa's gossip-loving heart was reignited.
She remembered—weren't there supposed to be two more people coming~?
Actually, she knew a bit about Kamishiro's and Iori's two friends.
As for how…
Of course, from the Izu University forum! No need to search at all—the top posts were all about them!
Their popularity was right on the heels of Iori and Kamishiro.
Speaking of which, Kamishiro and Iori were really polar opposites on the forum. One had the highest popularity as a positive figure, hailed as the Light of Izu University.
The other…
"Greatest Pervert of Izu University" was already a household name across the campus.
If judged purely by popularity…
Then congratulations to Iori for finally achieving the victory he'd always wanted!
After this date, she'd throw a celebration party for him!
As for now…
"Kamishiro, where are your other two friends?"
She was a little curious—would there really be girls willing to accompany those two oddballs?
After all, they weren't exactly the kind of people ordinary girls could handle.
One was suspected to have a crossdressing fetish, and the other… a man who drank alcohol like that had to be a pervert, right?!
"Oh right, they're not here yet?"
Only then did Kamishiro remember Yamamoto and Nojima. It was already almost time—why hadn't they arrived?
Did they really think they were some harem-protagonist who could keep the heroine waiting?
That was his role, okay!
"Who knows—maybe they couldn't find any girls and got too scared to come. Heh, trying to dodge the punishment… how laughable!"
Iori sneered. Once the bet was made, there was no getting off midway.
If those two didn't show up today, he was fully prepared to use force!
Kamishiro: "Well then, let's add some chili sauce to the alcohol."
Iori: "Seconded! The spiciest kind!"
Hearing the two casually escalate the punishment, Azusa's mouth twitched. She immediately covered Shiori's ears.
This kind of R-18 conversation really shouldn't be held in front of a child!
Japan's sex education hadn't gone so far as to teach such wild methods of self-comfort yet!
And besides—
"Could you two stop wasting alcohol like this…?"
As a member of the pub—and a senior at that—Azusa-nee really couldn't stand this kind of alcohol wastage. Alcohol was meant to be drunk, not used as a torture device!
"Uh… that is technically a way of drinking… O-okay, we'll change it! Definitely change it!"
Kamishiro, who was just about to argue that "Little Bird Drinking" was still drinking, immediately changed his tune after seeing Azusa-nee's half-lidded gaze.
"How about industrial alcohol instead? That should be fine, right?"
Iori added. He also felt that using "Water of Life" on Yamamoto and the others was a bit too wasteful.
They themselves didn't even have much of that stuff—no way they could squander it like that.
Industrial alcohol didn't have quite the same proof, but it would still be more than enough for those two's "little birds."
Hearing this—
Azusa-nee nodded in satisfaction. As long as it wasn't a waste of alcohol, everything was fine.
Industrial alcohol wasn't drinkable anyway—no problem at all!
Everyone wins!
Shiori: ???
Since Azusa-nee was covering her ears so tightly, poor Shiori could only watch her two brothers' lips moving nonstop without hearing a single sound.
This sparked a sudden desire in her to learn lip-reading. Judging from big brother's excited expression, it had to be something really happy!
She was a little curious!
Just as Kamishiro and Iori were about to discuss the finer details of the increased punishment—
An annoying voice sounded from behind them.
"Hey, hey, hey, it's not very nice to talk about people behind their backs, you know."
"Heh, sorry to disappoint you. That chili-mixed industrial alcohol—you can save it for yourselves to drink!"
"Tch!" ×2
Hearing the familiar voices, Kamishiro and Iori clicked their tongues in perfect sync. How annoying.
You didn't need a brain to know—if these two dared to show up, they must have come prepared.
Sure enough, when they turned around, they saw two extremely smug faces—and… a whole crowd watching them.
The sudden crowd startled Iori, and for a moment he thought they'd come to judge him again.
Only after taking a closer look and not seeing any familiar faces did he finally relax.
With both men and women mixed in, they were probably here for Kamishiro and Azusa…
Although Iori hated to admit it, the looks of those two really were ridiculously strong.
Thinking about it just made him feel even more stifled. He turned to Nojima and Yamamoto unhappily.
"So we've been waiting this long—where are the women you two brought?"
This scene was a bit different from what they'd imagined. There were still only these two bastards present—no sign at all of any women they'd brought!
Hearing this, Nojima didn't mind Iori's tone at all. He simply pushed up his glasses and said confidently:
"Don't be so irritable, Kitahara. Girls taking a bit longer to get ready is perfectly normal, you know? My girlfriend is very shy."
As he spoke, he pulled someone out from behind him!
Instantly—
Everyone present subconsciously straightened up a little. This was the bare minimum respect owed to a girl who could accept a bastard like Nojima!
However… reality seemed a little different.
It was indeed a silhouette—but aside from the shape, nothing about it seemed particularly human…
"You're telling me this is your girlfriend?!"
"A lover who can be deployed and retracted at will?!"
Kamishiro and Iori completely lost it. In those few seconds, they'd imagined countless possibilities—but never this one…
The corners of their eyes twitched as they stared at Nojima's girlfriend—
A hideously ugly inflatable doll!
And not even a silicone one—just a cheap plastic model!
This cheapskate hadn't even bothered to upgrade his girlfriend to a silicone body!
"No matter how much you don't want to lose, isn't this just a bit too shameless?!"
At least bring a female gorilla or something! This wasn't even a living organism!
They'd calculated everything, but never expected someone thick-skinned enough to bring this kind of "girlfriend" out in public.
If they'd known Nojima had this level of resolve, they would've specified the rules more clearly!
At the very least, it had to be a person, okay?!
"Heh."
Facing their accusations, Nojima merely smiled with disdain.
"This is my pride and joy of a girlfriend. No matter where we go, she's always the center of attention."
With how perverted this was, of course she was the center of attention!
Kamishiro suddenly understood why so many people had gathered around them—it was all Nojima's "girlfriend's" fault.
Still, he had to admit—Nojima really was a true man, completely unbothered by other people's gazes.
If it were anyone else, forget carrying an inflatable doll—just carrying a human-shaped package would make them want to wrap themselves up!
And then there was… this guy's aesthetic sense.
Looking at the doll, which seemed to be assembled entirely from geometric shapes, Kamishiro suddenly felt that the shop mannequins looked quite pleasing to the eye.
Hopeless. Nojima was completely beyond saving.
Ignoring Nojima, who was still boasting to Iori about how capable and "expandable" his girlfriend was, Kamishiro shifted his gaze to the other protagonist.
"Yamamoto, you… at least brought something alive, right?"
That's right!
After witnessing Nojima's "masterpiece," Kamishiro no longer dared to hope Yamamoto had brought a human woman. As long as it had a heartbeat, it was fine!
Even if Yamamoto walked over holding a dog—so long as it was female, Kamishiro would accept it!
"Heh, Kamishiro, you're underestimating me a bit too much. What I brought is, of course, a human woman."
"Oh?!"
Kamishiro straightened up again. Since Yamamoto had said so much, he decided to believe him one more time!
"Then please, by all means, let me see this poor woman!"
Yamamoto: (???)
"Kamishiro, you really don't know how to use adjectives sometimes. What do you mean by poor?!
Whatever—she should be here soon anyway."
As he spoke, Yamamoto looked behind him, and Kamishiro stretched his neck to look as well.
They saw—
A middle-aged woman who looked about 80% similar to Yamamoto walking toward them.
"It's a bit too lively here, isn't it~"
Before long, the auntie walked up to them and greeted them cheerfully.
"So you're Yamamoto's friends? I really didn't expect Yamamoto to have such handsome friends."
At this moment, facing the auntie who was greeting him, Kamishiro waved awkwardly with a very unnatural expression.
Then he silently turned around and buried his face in Azusa-nee's chest, afraid that if he kept looking, he wouldn't be able to maintain his facial composure at all.
Meanwhile, Iori and Nojima finally finished arguing and turned to look.
"Your own mom?!" ×2
Iori: "Are you kidding me?! This is way too outrageous!"
Nojima: "Even I think this is outrageous!"
Kamishiro: "No—yours is even more outrageous…"
Yamamoto: "Exactly! Look at it from another angle—this even counts as filial piety!"
Kamishiro: "..."
For a moment, Kamishiro didn't even know how to refute that. What Yamamoto said actually sounded… kind of reasonable.
Although this park was often privately called a couple's amusement park, its theme was wild boars.
And they had only said to bring a female, not that it had to be a girlfriend or even an age-appropriate girl.
Bringing your mom or your little sister to play was fine too—there were even lots of parent-child groups over there.
But after all that, he was the only one who had actually come on a date.
Sure enough, just like he'd expected, these guys were as consistently ridiculous as ever.
They'd managed to gather girls of all age groups—and even threw in a non-biological entity for good measure…
Thinking this, Kamishiro glanced toward Azusa-nee, a little worried that something this explosive might be too much for her.
But he had underestimated Azusa-nee.
This was Hamaoka Azusa!
A woman who once forced a beauty pageant to change its rules!
Not only did Azusa-nee show no sign of discomfort, the scene around her was downright peaceful—
She was standing there, one arm linked with Shiori and Yamamoto's mom, enthusiastically introducing all the fun attractions in Boar Park.
She looked exactly like a lively college girl shopping with her mom and little sister.
After noticing Kamishiro's gaze, she even winked at him, then directly took Shiori and Yamamoto's mom by the hand and headed into the park.
"Kamishiro! We're going to line up for cotton candy first—hurry up and catch up!"
She didn't look affected by those idiots at all—if anything, she seemed to be enjoying herself.
What a treasure of a girl~
Watching this, Kamishiro couldn't help but smile proudly.
Heh heh—such a wonderful girl is mine!
Just as Kamishiro was about to follow with a beaming smile, he suddenly felt several intense waves of killing intent from behind!
The familiar pressure on his shoulders told him that he probably wasn't getting away that easily…
"So nice~ a gentle, understanding big sister!"
"Not only an angelic face, but a devilish figure too!"
"And you can even play strip rock-paper-scissors together!"
Realizing the situation at the same time, Iori and the other two were so jealous their teeth nearly shattered.
Why—why is it that only Kamishiro, this scumbag, gets to go on a date with a big sister?!
Why doesn't this bastard just die already?!