"Hahahahahahahahaha! So Kamishiro, this is how you ended up looking like a pig? How tragic~"
Grand Blue.
Azusa was doubled over laughing on the couch, occasionally poking at Kamishiro's swollen, pig-headed face.
Seeing him grimace in pain only made her laugh harder, and her poking sped up as well.
That miserable expression seemed to awaken something deep inside her.
Ehehehe~
Smack!
Kamishiro, unable to bear it anymore, smacked Azusa's mischievous hand away and gave her a helpless glare.
"Don't look so gleeful about it, Azusa nee! This was a deeply tragic event!"
"Mm-hmm, very tragic! I promise not to laugh!"
She instantly put on a serious face. Poor Kamishiro—he was truly pitiful. She couldn't keep teasing him.
But not even three seconds later, she couldn't hold it in—
"Pfft—HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!"
She really tried, but come on—who wouldn't laugh at a slightly handsome guy turned full-on pighead?
ξ(⁰▿⁰)
My Kamishiro is so cute!
Even as a pighead, he's nothing like the others!
"Sigh…"
Kamishiro sighed, not bothering to stop her. Honestly, he thought he looked ridiculous too.
It was all that bastard Kitahara's fault!
Kamishiro glared across the table at Kitahara with deep resentment.
He hadn't held back at all yesterday when he beat him up—clearly, he was in cahoots with Yamamoto and Nojima!
How despicable!
He had trusted them so much!
Well… maybe not that much. Yesterday, he'd mostly been stunned hearing about the associate professor's counseling office.
So sly!
So devious!
So Kitahara!
"Heh."
Iori chuckled from across the table, the look of a true victor in his eyes.
He had finally won for once!
Even if he'd gotten beaten up for ten minutes, this still counted as a win!
"Hahahahaha." Azusa kept laughing, though she was more restrained now.
There was one thing she didn't understand, though.
"Hey, Kamishiro, how did you end up escaping in the end? Was it that white-haired girl who saved you?"
Given the situation, if no one had helped, Kamishiro would've been a goner. A pighead was honestly too light a punishment.
"Ah, about that..."
(;´＿｀)
Kamishiro looked a little awkward.
Just thinking back to yesterday made his heart ache!
As everyone knew, Kamishiro had a powerful sense for business!
Lately, for some strange reason, there had been a surge of couples in Izu.
Weirdly enough, even though summer was over, romance was booming.
Only in Japan, right? College students here treated every season as couple season.
Whatever the social reason, Kamishiro immediately saw the opportunity!
A new theme park had just opened in Izu:
Boar Theme Park!
Without hesitation, Kamishiro had told the owner—who he'd met at a bar and who had wanted to learn pickup skills from him.
A typical spoiled rich kid.
Why would a rich kid need lessons? Purely because of his average looks and terrible self-sabotaging tendencies.
He was actually hoping to find "true love."
Disgusting.
But because he trusted Kamishiro like a big bro, he immediately issued a ton of couple's discount tickets!
The goal? Lure in all the lovey-dovey couples to spend money. The autumn breeze made it the perfect time for a date!
And Kamishiro's "compensation" for Yamamoto, Nojima, and Kitahara?
Yup—those very same couple's discount tickets!
He was originally planning to sell them!
Lost so much money giving them away!
Whether they could find someone to go with—not his problem~
After all, when they'd begged him for girls, he'd nobly resisted despite the pain.
Heh!
Scumbags!
Let them wallow in their own social awkwardness!
What? They won't go?
Heh, impossible!
Kamishiro knew them too well.
Even if there was a 1% chance, they'd go to the Boar Theme Park to search for "true love"!
Maybe find some solo girls to team up with~
After all, couple tickets—bringing a female friend along was totally normal, right?
"Hey hey hey, speaking of which, where's that girl you promised to introduce me to?"
Iori waved the discount ticket he'd swindled from Kamishiro, arrogantly shouting across the room.
The moment he got that ticket, he knew exactly how to use it.
Back in Okinawa, Kamishiro had promised—for the sake of his own life—to introduce a cute girl to Iori. One he wasn't even close with!
Fantastic!!!
Absolutely perfect!
He needed a girl who barely knew him—preferably one who'd never even seen the Izu University forum!
This way, at least his image could remain intact!
Yeah right—he's the kind of guy who can happily chat with a convenience store cashier!
Convenience store cashier: Pfft! Damn forced customer service smile!
"Ah…" Kamishiro's expression froze for a moment, as if recalling something.
After a long pause, it finally hit him that he had indeed promised Kitahara he'd set him up.
And the person he'd promised to introduce was—
Kamishiro's cheeks twitched. Why am I suddenly looking forward to this trainwreck?
"You're sure about this?"
His face twisted into something complicated, as though he sensed Kitahara would one day get himself killed by his own stupidity.
"Absolutely!"
Iori nodded with unshakable confidence, radiating the aura of a man who'd already won life's lottery.
"…Fine. I'll bring her tomorrow."
"NICE!"
Iori immediately cheered, convinced love was finally within reach.
Feeling invincible, he strutted off to challenge the senpai to a drinking contest—because right now, he was clearly the chosen one.
Watching Iori's oblivious retreat, Azusa sidled up to Kamishiro with a smirk, her breath tickling his ear:
"You're really setting Iori up with someone?"
Kamishiro shivered at the contact and instinctively pushed her away—only for his hand to sink into something soft.
…Huh?
A sultry hum buzzed in his ear. Only then did he realize his palm was now firmly cupping Azusa nee's chest.
Her cheeks flushed pink as she whispered, "Save this for the bedroom, okay~?"
Instantly, Kamishiro felt his blood heat up. Even after countless sleepless nights, a temptress like Azusa nee could still rev his engine.
Damn it—bad timing. Otherwise, he'd have shown her what true talent looked like.
20cm was just the starting line!
With a pained expression, he peeled his hand away. "Seriously though, the girl I'm introducing to Kitahara… you know her too."
"I do?" Azusa blinked. Most of her friends were too busy job-hunting to overlap with Kamishiro's social circle—otherwise, they'd have hounded her for his contact info long ago.
And she knew her friends weren't the "herbivore" type.
At Omu, timid guys were rarer than BDSM enthusiasts—and she could name at least a dozen of those.
"Chisa? Nanaka?"
(눈_눈)
Kamishiro stared at her like she'd lost her mind. "Why the hell would I introduce those two to that moron?"
One was his untouchable white moonlight; the other… Kitahara knew way too well already.
And good luck dragging Chisa to Wild Boar Land unless scuba gear was involved—that girl was obsessed with the ocean.
"Then who?" Azusa frowned. If not them, who else could it be?
Please don't tell me he's actually sacrificing a decent girl to Iori—I'll drag him to a neurologist myself.
Leaning in, Kamishiro whispered a name—
!!!
Azusa's shock melted into wicked glee.
"PFFT—HAHAHA! Kamishiro, you're evil! Iori will murder you!"
He shrugged, smug. "Nah. She's female, technically unfamiliar, and objectively hot—totally his type."
Azusa's eye twitched. "'Technically unfamiliar'? That's stretching it.*
By normal logic, Iori and this girl were closer than Iori and Chisa.
Whatever. Kamishiro's known him since diapers—he'd know best.
More importantly…
"So, Kamishiro~" Azusad in, batting her lashes. "Who's your plus-one?"
If it's a couples' ticket, surely he'd bring a girl—and as his beloved Azusa nee, surely she was first choice?
(λ•ᴗ•´)
"Huh? Me?" Kamishiro had planned to ditch the event entirely, but the hopeful glint in Azusa's eyes made him pivot.
"Who else but you, Azusa nee? Unless… you're too busy for a romantic weekend with me~?"
"Oh?" Her grin sharpened.
This was why she adored him—he always read her desires and played along.
Whether indulging her wild streaks or instantly inviting her now, Kamishiro made her feel seen.
She knew she was immature—only Kotobuki and Tokita and Nanaka had ever tolerated her chaos unconditionally.
And adulthood terrified her.
Not because she'd fail (every part-time boss begged her to stay), but because she'd have to pretend to be someone else.
At GB, she could still be herself. But after graduation?
…Until Kamishiro showed up.
Unlike Kotobuki and Tokita—who'd be swamped with work—Kamishiro was the perfect partner-in-crime.
And yes, her feelings for him weren't entirely platonic.
Sometimes, she even wanted to claim him for herself—though sanity (barely) held her back.
But if he was offering?
"It's a date~" She winked. "Stand me up, and I'll end you."
She'd already planned to call off her weekend shift for this.
"I wouldn't dream of it." Kamishiro flashed an OK sign. Watching Iori's dumpster fire will be worth it.
"Oh, one more thing." Azusa sipped her beer. "That counseling session with Professor Ushironomiya—you still haven't gone?"
Given how excited he'd been, she'd assumed he'd rush there post-beating.
"Uh…" Kamishiro's face scrunched.
"About that…"
"We did go yesterday."
His gaze darted away. Despite the beating, his thirst for Professor Ushironomiya remained unquenched—so he'd hobbled straight to her office.
Except…
The scene outside froze them in their tracks:
* The bald university principal.
* His secretary restraining the professor in a full police arrest pose.
* A confused female student gaping nearby.
It was so bizarre that Kamishiro's group noped out immediately.
One thing was clear: That counseling office wasn't opening again.
Not that it stopped Kamishiro's journalistic instincts from kicking in and he snapped a photo before facts could interfere.
If it's a misunderstanding? Too late—the internet never forgets.
If it's not a misunderstanding? Even better—he'd score exclusive clout!
(Don't mistake him for totally shameless—he did add pixelated censorship.
…Useless censorship, given the professor's hair and the president's glaring scalp.)
Headline: SHOCKING SCANDAL—WHAT REALLY HAPPENED? NETIZENS, DECIPHER THIS!
"..." Azusa stared at the Izu Forum post in silence.
Wow. Even the faculty at Izu University are wildin'.
…When will Omu catch up?!
Weekend — Wild Boar Land
"So… THIS is the 'female partner' you found me?!"
Iori's eyes spasmed as murderous intent radiated toward Kamishiro.
For the first time in his life, he understood "false advertising."
Correction—he hadn't even seen a photo beforehand!
Kamishiro smirked, feigning innocence. "What? She checks all your boxes~"
(λ•ᴗ•´)
Iori: (╬ Ò﹏Ó)
"YOU BASTARD—HOW DOES ANY OF THIS FIT MY CRITERIA?!"
He clearly remembered that what Kamishiro had told him before was: "A beautiful girl, not familiar with you, and has a crush on you…"
This totally doesn't add up!!
"Well, I actually think it fits perfectly."
As he spoke, Kamishiro pointed to Shiori who was currently clinging to Iori's arm and said, "Beautiful girl, has a crush on you, not familiar with you—Shiori fits all of those, doesn't she?!"
Upon hearing this—
Shiori very cooperatively turned her big watery eyes toward her idiot older brother.
"So, dear brother, are you saying that in your heart, I don't count as a beautiful girl?"
Are you seriously implying that you and I aren't familiar with each other?
We've been real siblings for over ten years!
Shiori! How could you do this to me!
Also, should I be happy you didn't deny having a crush on me?
Wait, no!
Isn't it just common sense for a little sister to like her older brother?!
Damn it, I almost got caught up in Kamishiro's twisted logic. No matter what else, just in terms of appearance alone, she's totally not my type!
Looking into Shiori's pitiful puppy eyes, Iori didn't hesitate and solemnly patted her on the shoulder. "What are you talking about, Shiori? Be more confident. In my heart, you're really not a beauty. So please stop being so narcissistic."
???
Shiori's expression froze, and veins started bulging on her forehead. After all this time, her idiotic brother was still just as irritating and tactless!
Though she really wanted to let this dumbass have a taste of a cute girl's Iron Fist, as a proper lady, Shiori didn't resort to violence. Instead, she looked at Iori with a sweet and sinister smile.
"Oh, I see. So big brother has a very strict definition of beauty~
I guess only those ladies under your bed in those magazines count as 'beautiful,' huh?
I'll go let Mom know right away. I'm sure she'll take your aesthetic preferences into serious consideration when picking out your future wife~"
Bang!
As soon as Shiori finished speaking, the previously nonchalant Iori instantly and naturally stripped off his pride and dropped to his knees before her.
"Please, my irresistibly cute and charming little sister, forget what your dumb older brother just said! Shiori, you'll always be the number one beauty in my heart!"
"..."
"As expected of Kitahara… absolutely shameless!"
Kamishiro gave a thumbs-up from the side. To be able to shamelessly strip himself of all dignity at the gates of a major theme park and sincerely prostrate himself in apology—
In a way, he had already surpassed the limits of the human species.
After all, human shame is supposed to be embedded in DNA, but Kitahara… didn't even possess a concept of shame!
Even a senior like him couldn't pull that move!
"Man…" Kamishiro sighed and reluctantly pulled out his beloved camera.
"Kitahara, Kitahara… you just love handing me material, don't you~?"
（λ?_??）
Today's headline, secured!
Once his popularity grew a bit more, he'd start taking on ads, maybe even stream some sales for the fans!
Like some Water of life or something—this kind of rare item, doubling the price and then giving a 20% discount would still be perfectly reasonable~
It's time to deliver a little 'familial' shock to everyone in Japan!
Meanwhile—
The pressure was now on Shiori's side.
It's true that Japanese people, to some extent, don't care too much about what others do. You could see that from how wild Tokyo gets every weekend.
That's also when the Tokyo police are at their busiest… catching all the drunkards roaming the streets isn't exactly easy.
Let alone the delinquents extorting students, yakuza harassing pretty girls, and all that.
Truly a heartwarming and wholesome society~
In such an environment, most Japanese are already desensitized to bizarre happenings. These kinds of antics aren't even worth their attention anymore.
Some of them probably tried this kind of stuff themselves back in the day.
But humans do love to gawk. They only don't stop to watch if the spectacle isn't big enough.
Now, a naked man was kneeling before a beautiful girl for reasons unknown—this was definitely a spectacle!
Especially since the area was full of university students who hadn't yet entered full "crazy mode." Right in their prime gossiping age, they all stopped to watch.
Some students from Izu University even recognized this as their school's legendary figure, Kitahara Iori.
What initially surprised them no longer felt strange. If it was him, then anything was possible.
In fact, they already guessed what today's top post on the school forum would be.
A true campus legend!
Meanwhile, at the eye of the storm, Shiori stood, veins popping, staring at her idiotic brother.
Her fists clenched so hard her fingers turned white.
She never expected that all she did was a light jab, and her brother pulled out his ultimate move!
Don't use your all-or-nothing attacks on a delicate and beautiful girl like this!
Especially not your actual little sister!
Brother, I'm not as thick-skinned as you!
As more and more people gathered around, even Shiori started to panic—she needed to do something, fast, to end this embarrassment!
She looked around desperately for help.
Then—
She saw Kamishiro feverishly typing away, trying to be the first to break the news.
Instantly, she had an idea!
As long as no one knew she was related to that naked pervert, everything would be fine!
"Big brother!"
With a bright smile, Shiori dashed toward Kamishiro, then clung tightly to his arm, like a hardcore siscon.
The sudden move made Kamishiro pause in confusion, staring at Shiori, baffled.
Wait… what's going on?
Did Shiori finally come around and decide to help run the teahouse?
Iori: ∑(′△｀)?!
Iori was stunned. He thought that sweet, sugary "Big brother~" was meant for him.
He was even preparing to give Shiori a warm brotherly hug to comfort her.
But then… she turned and ran straight to that scumbag Kamishiro?!
Hey, hey, Shiori! Your real brother is right here! That guy you're hugging is just a piece of garbage with a nice face!
Meanwhile, the girls around them had a totally different reaction.
Their eyes sparkled with excitement at the scene.
They had already noticed Kamishiro. A high-quality man standing alone like that—it was basically throwing sheep into a wolf's den.
Earlier, they hadn't had a chance to strike up conversation because Iori's stunt was too over-the-top.
But now…
The girl being "confessed to" was Kamishiro's little sister?! Their future sister-in-law?!
Perfect excuse to chat him up!
Don't be scared, little sis—big sis is here to protect you!
"That… Shiori, I think you grabbed the wrong guy. I'm over here…"
Iori stood up, trying to explain, mainly to stop her from showing their parents his secret stash.
He really didn't want to socially die again!
But—
Before he could get close, several figures blocked his path!
{{(°△°; "}}!
Faced with these youthful, energetic girls, Iori was a little stunned and instinctively stepped back.
Nervously, he swallowed. "Uh… you're not here to ask for my contact info, right…?"
Iori was a little conceited, but nowhere near as bad as Yamamoto or Nojima.
He had a pretty clear idea of where he stood.
In terms of looks, he wasn't as handsome as Kohei or Kamishiro.
Of course, on the inside, he firmly believed he was the only normal member of PaB.
But these girls had just met him—no way they could see his inner qualities.
And… the killing intent in their eyes made it clear they weren't here to flirt!
"Pah! Shameless!"
Hearing such sleazy words from this pervert, the girls sneered in disgust.
They looked at Iori like he was the filthiest thing on earth.
After mentally blasting him with eye lasers for a few seconds, a short-haired, cool-looking girl stepped forward and said,
"Kitahara Iori, right? I know you. The biggest disgrace at Izu University!
I don't care how you mess around with those degenerates at school, but here—don't harass Kamishiro's sister. And don't you dare use scummy tactics like kneeling to pressure her!
There's no way it'll ever happen between you two!"
Σ( ° △ °|||)︴
Iori was completely stunned.
Him? Harassing Kamishiro's sister?
Even if he, Kitahara Iori, was a beast—he wouldn't go after a two-year-old, right?!
Wait, Kamishiro's sister isn't even here. How did they think she was his sister?
Could it be that Kamishiro's background got exposed?
Iori turned to Kamishiro in confusion, hoping for answers.
Then—
He saw his own sister clinging tightly to Kamishiro. And remembered that earlier "Big brother~"…
In that instant, he understood.
(▼皿▼＃)
These morons!
They think Shiori is Kamishiro's sister?!
"Hey, hey, you've got it all wrong! She's MY little sister!"
He tried to push through the wall of angry girls and get his sister back—
Unfortunately, he had underestimated the situation.
The girls simply sidestepped and blocked Iori's path again.
The same short-haired girl from before smirked, her voice dripping with disdain.
"Tch. At least come up with a believable excuse. Just because you two have the same hair color doesn't mean you can pretend to be her brother!"
"We look alike in other ways too!"
Frustrated at having his sibling bond with Shiori questioned again, Iori jabbed a finger between his own face and hers.
"Look! The eyes, nose, mouth—don't they match?!"
Hmm?
His fervent reaction gave the girl pause. She glanced back and forth between them, scrutinizing their features—before her eyes hardened with conviction.
"Nice try. I don't know where you got the audacity to impersonate someone's brother with that face."
On one side, you had the gorgeous siblings—Kamishiro and his adorable little sister.
On the other? A perverted older brother and his sweet, gentle, beautiful younger sister.
Anyone with eyes could tell which pair was real!
Sure, Kamishiro and his sister didn't look identical—but they shared one crucial trait:
They were both stupidly attractive.
That was enough. Minor differences? Totally normal for siblings!
Plus, the girl had literally called Kamishiro "Onii-sama." Case closed!
Iori: (Petrified.)
How the hell do you judge siblings by looks alone?!
By that logic, every idol group would be one big family!
Never had Iori imagined proving his relation to Shiori would be this hard.
Fine. If looks won't work…
"Shiori, just tell them—"
"Onii-sama~ Let's get ice cream!"
Before he could finish, Shiori—as if reading his mind—grabbed Kamishiro's arm and dragged him toward an ice cream cart.
Without so much as glancing back at her naked, pathetic brother.
Iori: (Twitching.)
…They actually look kinda good together.
Like siblings.
If he hadn't witnessed her birth, he might've doubted Shiori was even related to him.
Also—
You're ditching me that easily?!
One's his childhood friend, the other his actual sister—why wasn't he invited?!
He wanted to chase after them, but…
"Uh… What if I said we're just siblings fighting? You'd believe that, right?"
The girls answered with a synchronized:
"Tch."
Their crossed arms and unyielding glares said it all.
Iori: (╥﹏╥)
THIS IS BULLYING!!!