Cooking Skill LV1: 100 EXP
Akio's expression froze as he handed the responsibility of boiling the dumplings to Sara.
All the ones he had cooked himself, several dozen were fed straight to the chubby two-tailed cat.
"Father… how did you even manage that?" Sara asked in awe.
Boiling dumplings shouldn't have been complicated, yet Akio still managed to produce something bizarre. Sara had watched him the entire time and still couldn't figure out where things went wrong.
"Damn system… always trolling me."
He truly had no explanation. He didn't even know when this cooking skill appeared or why. But apparently, a Level 1 cooking skill meant he couldn't even boil dumplings without making them taste so strange that even a summoned beast refused them.
"Come to think of it… I haven't cooked for myself in over a century. Guess the skill never activated, so it stayed locked at Level 1. Back then I wasn't limited by it, so maybe my instinct covered the basics. But now? I'm basically an abstract-art chef."
Akio hesitated about spending points on it. Not because he cared about the points, but because he was afraid, he might accidentally become a master chef and then be unable to tolerate anyone else's cooking ever again.
Not arrogance, just respect for the system.
"When did I last cook anything…?" He glanced at Kimimaro. "Ah. I grilled a fish for him not long ago."
"…Don't tell me the skill triggered then. Good thing I didn't grill anything for Kisame, or I'd never hear the end of it."
"Meow, if you want it, take it, but stop staring at me like that!"
The chubby cat yowled. Akio finally realized Kimimaro was staring at the cat with teary eyes as it forced down the dumplings.
"Go on, Fat Cat, eat. You look like you're starving," Akio said gently. No way was he letting Kimimaro taste something that foul.
The cat felt deeply wronged. Ever since being summoned from Konoha, it had been fed nothing but… this.
"Finish all of it, don't waste food."
The cat: "…"
Luckily, a few dozen dumplings were nothing for a creature with a stomach like a bottomless pit.
Sara's second batch finished, and at last they could eat real food.
Just as Akio set out the bowls, the door of Ichiraku Ramen slid open. Kushina and Konan walked in holding Naruto between them.
Kushina didn't waste time. "Great-Grandpa, is lunch ready?"
Konan nodded politely. "Happy New Year, sensei."
Naruto ignored Akio completely. "Hi, Sister Haku!"
Akio twitched. He ignored the brat. "Here to mooch food again? Where are those two?"
"They're running the New Year festival. They won't get away at noon."
Akio nodded, then turned a slow, evil grin toward Naruto. "Naruto… looking for another beating?"
"Meow, stupid fox can't tell boys from girls."
The cat's comment earned it a pitying glance from Akio, right before Kushina snatched it up.
"Great-Grandpa, the little fox told me it's the Two-Tails."
"Yep. Two-Tails cat Jinchūriki."
"Huh. Sounds nutritious. Great-Grandpa, since it's the New Year… how about cat stew?"
"Oh, definitely nutritious," Akio added, deadpan.
"MEOW?!"
The cat panicked, its red twin tails flaring before immediately retracting. Behind Kushina, nine fiery tails appeared, sheer intimidation. The cat surrendered instantly.
It suddenly wanted to return to Konoha. It missed its human servant, Tenten.
Akio laughed. "Alright, enough teasing it, Kushina. Focus on disciplining Naruto."
Naruto made a face. "Mom said I can relax for three days because it's New Year!"
He was immediately lifted by the collar...
and swatted.
Akio looked delighted. "Naive kid. Believes anything."
Once the chaos settled, Sara finished a third pot of dumplings. Akio shaped a huge round table from wood release, and everyone sat down to eat.
"Great-Grandpa, did you invent these?" Kushina asked eagerly.
Akio cleared his throat. He was about to brag, then remembered the disaster he'd made earlier.
"…No. It's an old recipe from when I was young. I described it to Sara and she recreated it."
"Oh, I see. They're great. Sara, you must teach me later." Kushina grinned. Her seniority chart was a mess.
"Teach me too, Sister Sara," Konan added.
He stopped paying attention as the boys and girls chatted around the table. Before he knew it, only he and the chubby cat were still eating.
Akio had a strong body and even stronger metabolism, but the cat was a monster in the eating department.
When Sara brought out yet another bowl, Akio surrendered.
"I, Uzumaki Akio, acknowledge you as a top-tier glutton. No one in the world out-eats you."
Madara's famous quote had never been so thoroughly corrupted.
The cat snorted and kept eating, until a stare hit it like a kunai. Its fur puffed up instantly.
"MEOW hey, brat, don't even think about it!"
Kimimaro stared right at the cat, silent.
His internal thoughts: A champion recognized by a god. I must remember this.
The cat: "…"
Ever since leaving Konoha, everything had been suffering.
It shoved the rest of the dumplings into its mouth, leapt into Akio's arms, and declared, "Meow, meal over! I'm going home. Tenten's probably worried!"
Akio chuckled and stroked it twice. "Get along with Tenten, okay?"
"Meow...way easier than getting along with you."
Akio: "…"
He escorted the little traitor outside, pointed it toward Konoha, and returned to the ramen shop, only to see Naruto whispering into Haku's ear.
"Sister Haku, I'm telling you, be careful around the old man. You should've seen how he stared"
Akio couldn't hear the middle part, but he didn't need to. He knew exactly what the brat said.
Haku remained polite and gentle as always, unmoved.
Akio grinned. "Naruto… first beating of the New Year. Right now."
—
Meanwhile, in Konoha.
The chubby cat sprinted all the way to Tenten's home.
"Meow....girl, hurry and get me something to eat! I'm starving!"
A few dumplings meant nothing.
Tenten rushed out. "Fat Cat! You're finally back!"
She froze halfway. "Fat Cat, did someone abuse you?! You look so skinny!"
The cat remembered today's torment and almost burst into tears. Then it looked at Tenten's worried face.
Yes. There was a difference.
"Meow....someone did abuse me."
---
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