CHAPTER ONE HUNDRED AND EIGHTEEN: BEFORE EVERYTHING CHANGED
The final weeks of SS2 arrived with a strange mixture of excitement and exhaustion.
Everyone was tired.
The lessons seemed longer.
The assignments seemed endless.
The teachers had suddenly discovered that there were still topics we had not covered.
And every conversation somehow returned to examinations.
"I'm tired," Gift announced one afternoon as we walked out of class.
"You say that every day."
"Because every day gives me a reason to say it."
I laughed.
Morayo walked behind us with Victoria.
"I've already started planning my holiday."
Victoria looked at her.
"We haven't even finished examinations."
"Exactly. I'm planning ahead."
Gift shook her head.
"You're unserious."
"I'm organised."
"You haven't read anything."
"That is not relevant."
We laughed.
I looked around the corridor.
Students were everywhere, moving between classrooms, carrying books and talking about tests.
It was the same school.
The same buildings.
The same uniforms.
The same routines.
Yet somehow, everything felt different.
Maybe because I was different.
A few months earlier, I had walked through these same corridors with a heart that felt unbearably heavy.
Now I could walk through them without feeling as though every corner contained a memory capable of breaking me.
I had healed.
Not perfectly.
But enough.
The examination period was difficult.
There were days when I studied until my eyes felt heavy.
There were mornings when I woke up wishing I could sleep for another hour.
There were evenings when the entire hostel seemed filled with complaints.
"Who invented Chemistry?" someone shouted one night.
"Not me!" another girl replied.
Gift laughed so hard that she nearly fell from her bunk.
I shook my head.
"You people are ridiculous."
"Floral, come and join us," Gift called.
"I am studying."
"Study later."
"No."
"You've been studying for two hours."
"And?"
"And you need to rest."
I closed my book.
"Fine."
I joined them for a few minutes.
Someone had found a ridiculous story to tell, and before long, the whole corner was laughing.
It reminded me of something I had almost forgotten.
Life wasn't only about surviving difficult moments.
There were small moments worth enjoying while they lasted.
One afternoon, after an examination, I found Daniel waiting outside the classroom.
He was holding two books.
"You finished?"
"Yes."
"How was it?"
I sighed.
"Don't ask."
He laughed.
"That bad?"
"Worse."
"Same."
We began walking towards the next block.
For a while, neither of us spoke.
Then Daniel said, "Do you remember when you used to help me with Mathematics?"
I looked at him.
"Used to?"
"You still do."
"You're still struggling."
"I have improved."
"Barely."
He laughed.
"You're mean."
"You need honesty."
"I appreciate your honesty."
We continued walking.
Then he became quiet.
I looked at him.
"What?"
"Nothing."
"You're thinking."
"So?"
"You always make that face when you're thinking."
He smiled.
"You've started noticing my faces?"
I immediately looked ahead.
"I notice everyone's faces."
"Really?"
"Yes."
He smiled again.
There was something different about that moment.
Not uncomfortable.
Not awkward.
Just different.
I didn't know how to explain it.
So I didn't.
As the final examinations approached, everyone became more restless.
The teachers kept reminding us to take our studies seriously.
The prefects kept reminding us about hostel rules.
The students kept reminding one another that they were going home soon.
Even the hostel seemed to have a different energy.
Girls discussed what they would eat when they returned home.
Some talked about sleeping for an entire day.
Others were already planning how to spend their holiday.
Gift was particularly excited.
"My mother promised to make my favourite food."
I smiled.
"My own mother will probably give me a list of chores."
Gift laughed.
"She'll still feed you."
"Of course."
We looked at each other.
Then Gift said quietly, "I'm going to miss this."
I glanced around the hostel.
"So am I."
The thought surprised me.
I had spent so many months complaining about hostel life.
The early mornings.
The crowded room.
The bathroom queues.
The inspections.
The noise.
The endless chores.
But now that the end of the session was approaching, I realised that these things had become part of my life.
Even the things I hated had become familiar.
One evening, after prep, I walked back towards the hostel alone.
The compound was quieter than usual.
The sky was beginning to darken, and a gentle breeze moved through the trees.
I heard footsteps behind me.
I turned.
It was Daniel.
"You're walking slowly."
"So?"
"I thought you were waiting for someone."
"No."
He walked beside me.
For a few moments, we simply walked.
Then he said, "Are you happy?"
I looked at him.
The question was unexpected.
"Yes."
He nodded.
"Good."
I smiled.
"You've said that before."
"I mean it."
There was something sincere in his voice.
I looked ahead.
"I think I'm finally okay."
"About Samuel?"
I paused.
Then nodded.
"Yes."
Daniel was quiet.
I appreciated that.
He didn't ask whether I still loved Samuel.
He didn't ask whether I would ever take him back.
He didn't ask whether I was ready for somebody else.
He simply walked beside me.
After a while, I said, "You know, when everything happened, I thought I'd never feel normal again."
"You do now?"
"Yes."
"That's good."
I smiled.
"Thank you."
"For what?"
"For being my friend."
He looked at me.
"You don't have to thank me for that."
"I know."
We continued walking.
But something had shifted inside me.
I didn't know exactly what.
I only knew that I felt safe around him.
Comfortable.
Understood.
And I had begun to realise that those feelings mattered.
The next day, we received our final results for one of the continuous assessments.
I did better than I expected.
When I saw my score, I stared at it twice.
Gift looked over my shoulder.
"You did well!"
I smiled.
"I actually did."
Victoria and Morayo congratulated me.
Daniel approached a few minutes later.
"What did you get?"
I told him.
He smiled.
"I'm proud of you."
I looked at him.
Those words were simple.
But they affected me more than I expected.
I smiled.
"Thank you."
He looked at his own result.
"Don't ask."
I laughed.
"How bad?"
"Let's not discuss it."
"Daniel."
"No."
I laughed harder.
For the rest of the day, I felt strangely happy.
Not because of my score alone.
Because I was beginning to recognise how much my life had changed.
I had entered the session as somebody's girlfriend.
I had spent months terrified of losing that relationship.
Then I lost it.
And somehow, I had not lost myself.
Instead, I had found pieces of myself I had neglected.
I had become closer to Gift.
Victoria and Morayo had become genuine friends again.
I had become more confident.
I had started caring about my academics.
And Daniel had become one of the people I trusted most.
That thought lingered.
Daniel.
I sat quietly during lunch, watching him speak with Gift at the far end of the dining area.
He was laughing about something.
Gift rolled her eyes.
I smiled.
Then I caught myself.
Why had I been watching him?
I looked away.
My heart gave a small, strange flutter.
I frowned.
No.
I wasn't going there.
Not yet.
Perhaps not ever.
I had just healed.
I wasn't going to turn friendship into something complicated simply because I had started noticing it differently.
But the thought remained.
And that was the problem.
The final school week arrived.
There was a noticeable excitement everywhere.
Teachers were finishing lessons.
Students were packing books.
The hostel was slowly becoming less crowded as preparations for departure began.
On the final afternoon, we sat in class for what was supposed to be a normal lesson.
Nobody was concentrating.
Our teacher eventually gave up.
"You people have already gone home in your minds."
The class laughed.
She smiled.
"Fine. Since nobody is listening, pack your books."
Everyone cheered.
The classroom erupted into movement.
I packed my books carefully.
When I closed my bag, I looked around.
I wondered how much would change by the time we returned.
SS3.
The final year.
The thought felt enormous.
There would be examinations.
Graduation.
Goodbyes.
Decisions about the future.
And memories we would carry long after leaving the school.
I felt excited.
And slightly afraid.
Outside the classroom, Daniel waited.
"You ready?"
"Yes."
"For SS3?"
I smiled.
"As ready as I'll ever be."
He nodded.
"See you next term."
"See you."
We stood there for a moment.
Neither of us moved.
Then he smiled.
"Take care of yourself."
"You too."
He walked away.
I watched him for a few seconds.
Then I turned towards the hostel.
That night, Gift and I packed our things.
The room was noisy.
Girls were calling to one another.
Some were folding clothes.
Others were arguing about missing belongings.
Someone was crying because she had already started missing her friends.
Gift sat on her lower bunk.
"Can you believe we're going to SS3?"
I smiled.
"No."
"Next year we'll be the seniors everyone fears."
I laughed.
"Don't become wicked."
"I won't."
"You will."
She grinned.
"Maybe."
I climbed onto my bunk.
For a while, we talked about everything.
School.
Teachers.
Friends.
Mistakes.
The future.
Eventually, Gift asked the question she had been avoiding.
"Do you still think about Samuel?"
I stared at the ceiling.
"Sometimes."
She nodded.
"Do you want him back?"
I was silent.
Then I answered honestly.
"I don't know."
The truth surprised even me.
I didn't hate Samuel.
I didn't want to erase him.
He had been important to me.
He had been my first love.
But the person I had loved and the relationship we had were both part of the past.
I didn't know what would happen when we returned for SS3.
Maybe nothing.
Maybe everything.
But I wasn't going to spend the holiday waiting for him.
That was enough.
The following morning, we prepared to leave.
Students carried their bags out of the hostel.
Teachers supervised.
Parents and guardians arrived.
The school grounds became filled with movement.
I stood beside Gift, Victoria and Morayo.
We were all excited to go home.
Daniel appeared a little later.
He waved.
"Floral!"
I smiled.
"Daniel."
He came closer.
"So…"
"So?"
"Enjoy your holiday."
"You too."
He hesitated.
Then he said, "Don't forget us."
I smiled.
"I won't."
"Good."
He walked away.
I watched him disappear into the crowd.
Something inside me felt strangely warm.
I placed a hand against my chest.
It wasn't heartbreak.
It wasn't longing.
It wasn't the desperate feeling I had once associated with love.
It was quieter.
Gentler.
Perhaps it was simply affection.
Perhaps it was friendship.
Perhaps it was the beginning of something I wasn't ready to understand.
I didn't need to decide.
Not yet.
As I left the school grounds, I looked back one last time.
This school had changed me.
It had given me friendships.
It had given me memories.
It had given me my first love.
And it had also taught me how to survive losing that love.
Now SS3 waited ahead.
A final year.
A final chapter of school life.
And somewhere inside me, I knew that things would not remain exactly the same.
People changed.
Feelings changed.
Circumstances changed.
Sometimes, the people we thought belonged in our future returned from our past.
Sometimes, someone standing quietly beside us became more important than we ever expected.
I didn't know which would happen to me.
But I was ready.
As the school disappeared behind me, I smiled.
For once, I wasn't afraid of what came next.
I was curious.
And that was enough.
The next time I walked through those school gates, I would be an SS3 student.
And everything was about to change.