CHAPTER ONE HUNDRED AND NINETEEN: WHAT CAME BACK
SS3 felt different from the moment I stepped through the school gates.
Perhaps it was because I knew it was our final year.
Perhaps it was because everything suddenly seemed more important.
The buildings looked the same.
The classrooms were still the same.
The hostel still had the same crowded rooms, the same bunk beds, the same noise, the same early-morning rush.
But I was not the same girl who had left at the end of SS2.
I had grown.
Not physically.
Not in some dramatic way that everybody could immediately see.
I had grown in the quiet places.
In the way I thought.
In the way I handled disappointment.
In the way I understood friendship.
And, most importantly, in the way I understood myself.
Gift was beside me as we walked towards the hostel.
"SS3."
She said the word dramatically.
I laughed.
"Stop saying it like we're about to die."
"We are."
"We're not."
"Examinations are coming."
"They've been coming since JSS."
"This one is different."
"How?"
"It's SS3."
I shook my head.
"You're impossible."
She smiled.
"Did you miss me?"
"No."
She gasped.
"Liar."
"Maybe a little."
"Exactly."
We laughed as we entered the hostel.
The room was already filling with familiar faces.
Victoria was arguing with Morayo about where to keep her things.
Several girls were rushing around.
Someone was looking for a missing bucket.
Another girl was complaining that her bed space had been taken.
It felt good to be back.
And somewhere beneath all that excitement was a strange anticipation.
I knew I would see Samuel again.
I had prepared myself for it.
At least, I thought I had.
Our first day of SS3 began with assembly.
The principal welcomed us back and spoke at length about responsibility.
"We expect more from you this year," he said.
"You are now the senior students of this school. Your behaviour should reflect the example you wish to leave behind."
I listened carefully.
There was something about hearing the words leave behind that made my chest tighten.
We really were nearing the end.
After assembly, we returned to class.
I walked through the doorway and stopped.
Everything looked familiar.
The desks.
The board.
The windows.
The teacher's table.
Even the scratches on some of the desks.
I found my seat.
A few minutes later, Samuel entered.
Our eyes met.
For a second, neither of us spoke.
Then he nodded.
I returned the gesture.
He walked past.
I watched him take a seat.
He looked different.
Older somehow.
Quieter.
But I refused to spend the morning analysing him.
I opened my notebook.
"Good morning, everyone."
The teacher entered.
Class began.
The first few weeks of SS3 passed quickly.
There was an enormous amount of work.
Teachers reminded us constantly that the year would determine what came next.
Everyone suddenly seemed serious.
Even Daniel.
Well.
Mostly.
During one Mathematics lesson, he stared at his notebook for nearly ten minutes.
I glanced at him.
"What?"
He looked at me.
"I am contemplating my future."
"You're staring at one question."
"That question is connected to my future."
I laughed.
"Have you solved it?"
"No."
"Then stop contemplating and work."
He smiled.
"You haven't changed."
"Neither have you."
"I have."
"How?"
"I've become more handsome."
I rolled my eyes.
"Definitely not."
He laughed.
The friendship between us had remained surprisingly easy.
There was no awkwardness.
No pressure.
No sudden declaration.
Just the same friendship that had grown quietly during SS2.
But sometimes, when Daniel smiled at me, I felt something I couldn't quite name.
And I had stopped trying to name it.
One afternoon, after classes, I was returning a book to the classroom when I found Samuel standing near the door.
He looked at me.
"Floral."
I stopped.
"Yes?"
"Can we talk?"
My heart tightened slightly.
"About what?"
"Us."
I was silent.
He looked uncomfortable.
"I've been thinking."
"About what?"
"Everything."
I waited.
He sighed.
"I know I hurt you."
I looked down briefly.
"I know."
"I shouldn't have let things get that bad."
"You were under pressure."
"That doesn't excuse everything."
I looked at him.
For the first time, I could see something in his expression that I had not seen before.
Regret.
Not desperation.
Not manipulation.
Regret.
"I thought I could handle everything," he continued. "School. Family. Everything that was happening. Our relationship."
He shook his head.
"I couldn't."
I didn't interrupt.
"I kept telling myself I needed space. I kept thinking things would become easier if I stepped away from you."
He looked at me.
"But after we broke up, I realised something."
"What?"
"I missed you."
The words landed quietly.
I had once dreamed of hearing them.
Once, they would have made my heart race.
Now, they simply made me sad.
Not because I wanted him back.
Because I remembered how much I had once wanted things to work.
Samuel continued.
"I know I don't deserve another chance."
I said nothing.
"But if you ever wanted to…"
He stopped.
He couldn't finish the sentence.
I understood.
A second chance.
That was what he was asking for without actually saying it.
I took a breath.
"Samuel…"
"Yes?"
"I don't hate you."
He nodded.
"I know."
"And I don't regret loving you."
His eyes softened.
"But I can't pretend nothing happened."
"I know."
"I spent a long time trying to fix what was already breaking."
He looked down.
"I know."
"And when it finally ended, I had to learn how to become myself again."
He nodded slowly.
"I know."
I looked at him.
"I forgive you."
His eyes met mine.
"But forgiveness doesn't mean going back."
He swallowed.
"I understand."
For a moment, neither of us spoke.
Then he smiled sadly.
"I thought you might say that."
"I'm sorry."
"Don't be."
He took a breath.
"I just needed to tell you how I felt."
"I appreciate that."
He nodded.
Then he stepped aside.
I walked past him.
I expected my heart to hurt.
It didn't.
Not the way it once would have.
And that was when I realised just how far I had come.
That evening, I told Gift.
She listened without interrupting.
When I finished, she nodded.
"How do you feel?"
"Okay."
"Do you want him back?"
I thought about it.
"No."
The answer came more easily than I expected.
Gift smiled.
"Then you already know what you need to do."
I nodded.
I did.
A few days later, Daniel and I were assigned to work together on a major class project.
We spent several afternoons working on it.
Sometimes Victoria joined us.
Sometimes Gift did.
But there were also moments when it was simply Daniel and me, sitting across from each other with books spread between us.
One afternoon, he noticed I was quiet.
"What happened?"
"Nothing."
"You're thinking."
"I always think."
"Too much."
I smiled.
"Maybe."
He looked at me.
"You okay?"
"Yes."
"Samuel?"
I looked at him.
He immediately raised his hands.
"You don't have to answer."
I smiled.
"It's fine."
I closed my book.
"He asked me if I wanted to try again."
Daniel became quiet.
I watched his face.
He didn't react dramatically.
He didn't ask what I had said.
He simply waited.
"I told him no."
Daniel looked at me.
"Are you sure?"
"Yes."
He smiled faintly.
"Then I'm happy for you."
"Why?"
"Because you sound certain."
I smiled.
"I am."
He nodded.
There was a pause.
Then he said, "Good."
I looked at him.
There was something in his eyes.
Something he didn't say.
And for the first time, I wondered whether I already knew what it was.
As the weeks passed, Samuel kept his distance.
He didn't stop being my friend completely.
Sometimes we spoke about schoolwork.
Sometimes we greeted each other.
But he never pressured me again.
I respected him for that.
It made the past easier to leave behind.
Daniel, meanwhile, remained Daniel.
He helped me when I struggled with difficult questions.
He made me laugh when I was stressed.
He remembered small things I said.
He noticed when I was quiet.
He never made me feel as though I owed him anything.
One afternoon, after we finished studying, we walked towards the hostel.
The sun was beginning to set.
The school grounds were peaceful.
Daniel suddenly stopped.
"Floral."
I turned.
"Yes?"
"There is something I've wanted to tell you."
My heart began beating faster.
He looked nervous.
I waited.
He took a breath.
Then he smiled.
"Thank you."
I frowned.
"For what?"
"For being my friend."
I stared at him.
Then I laughed.
"You scared me."
"How?"
"You said you had something to tell me."
"I did."
"And then you said thank you."
He laughed.
"I'm sorry."
"You're impossible."
"I know."
We continued walking.
But the moment stayed with me.
Something was changing.
Slowly.
Quietly.
And I was beginning to understand it.
The final term moved quickly.
Teachers talked about final examinations.
Students discussed life after school.
Some already knew what they wanted to study.
Others were still uncertain.
During one evening conversation, Gift asked me what I wanted.
I thought about it.
"I don't know exactly."
She nodded.
"But I know I want to be happy."
She smiled.
"That sounds simple."
"It isn't."
"No."
We both laughed.
I thought about Samuel.
My first love.
The person who had taught me what it felt like to love someone deeply.
And then I thought about Daniel.
The person who had taught me that love did not always arrive dramatically.
Sometimes it grew from friendship.
From patience.
From laughter.
From being there.
From knowing when to speak and when to remain silent.
I didn't know what would happen.
But I knew something had changed.
I had begun to see Daniel differently.
Not because Samuel had hurt me.
Not because I needed someone else.
Not because Daniel had tried to replace anybody.
Simply because he was Daniel.
And somewhere along the way, he had become important to me.
Very important.
One afternoon, after our final major class test, I sat outside with Gift.
Daniel was across the compound, talking to some of the boys.
I watched him for a moment.
Gift noticed.
She smiled.
"You're doing it again."
I looked at her.
"Doing what?"
"Watching him."
I looked away.
"I wasn't."
"You were."
I laughed.
"Maybe."
Gift smiled.
"I told you."
"Told me what?"
"That something would change."
I looked towards Daniel again.
This time, I didn't deny it.
Maybe something had changed.
Maybe I was finally ready to admit that I enjoyed being around him in a way that felt different from ordinary friendship.
But I still wasn't rushing.
There was no need.
SS3 still had time.
And whatever was meant to happen would happen when it was ready.
For once, I wasn't afraid of the future.
I wasn't trying to hold onto the past.
I was simply standing in the present.
And waiting to see what came next.
Little did I know that the answer was already standing a short distance away.
Daniel looked towards me.
Our eyes met.
He smiled.
I smiled back.