Hey everyone, Tyler here! If you're keeping up with the story (yes it's not all shit and giggles, this series does have a story), you may have noticed how random some of the plot lines are and some are not even centered around ya boy. I share the sentiments too hey, I previously complained about it as well. Well worry not my dear reader, this chapter features yours truly prominently, and we might go address the notebook plot too. Well... that's what the author told me but hey, believe in that poor bastard. He's gonna cook trust me, and all this random stuff will all make sense alright? Sit back, grab some banana chips and enjoy this chapter!
"Man, why is this happening to me? All I want to do is do my damn business..."
These are the words uttered by Tyler. You see, despite his carefree attitude, he's kinda in a rough spot with his situation. He is hella pressed over by the fact that a witch hunt is currently happening because of the notebook, and it hinders his desire to live a peaceful and quiet life. Not to mention, there's the looming threat of the van guys out there to get him.
As part of his coping mechanism to alleviate the stress, every night before going to sleep, he would play his gorilla action figure. This night wasn't any different, as he is playing with it in his desk. Tired, Tyler eventually fell asleep midway through his playthrough.
Tyler was startled when he woke up and saw a familiar yet unfamiliar person standing in front of him.
"Oi oi, who the hell are you? Wait a minute... Have I met you before?" Tyler asked.
"Calm down Tyler-san, I come in peace. My name is Cesar and I'm here to help".
The man introduces himself in a calm and collected voice. Which doesn't match his looks as he has a very thick eyebrows that makes him look like angry all the time.
"Help what in exactly?" Tyler asked.
"Well you see Tyler-san, it all started a couple of years ago..."
LORE DUMP
Are you familiar with Turning Points? These events are called such which it happening could change an entire course of history. Man discovering fire, the invention of bread, LeBron James' birth; these are just some examples of major events that shook the history of mankind. You see, a couple of years ago, one of these Turning Points had happened. At least, that's what I believed because everything went to shit since then. It was the death of an important beloved figure. It affected us on a very personal level and was unprecedented. It was the death of Harambe...
LORE DUMP ENDS
"You see the death of Harambe is the death of us all..." Cesar continued on.
"I fail to see how it correlates to my problem?" Tyler said.
"It does... I have a theory. If we could stop the death of Harambe, maybe we could change the present. If we save him, maybe we could even change the future" Cesar said.
"As noble as the act is, I don't even know who Harambe is" Tyler said.
"Huh..." Cesar replied as he is looking at the gorilla action figure Tyler owns.
"Besides, time travel? Does this story can even afford to go that route without messing the timelines?" Tyler asked.
"Well you see Tyler-san, I'm not picking my nose right now just for the hell of it. It has a purpose" Cesar said while... I'm not gonna go in description of what he's doing.
"Right..." Tyler said.
"I'm done. Now shake my hands!" Cesar said.
"What?" Tyler reacted swiftly.
"It's how we do the time travel thingie" Cesar said.
"Okay... eugh fine" Tyler reluctantly accepted with a disgusted face.
Tyler and Cesar shook hands. All of a sudden, he woke up from his bedroom circa 2016.
"Did it really worked? Am I really back to 2016?" Tyler asks himself.
He opened up his phone and searched for something.
"Let's see... Lakers at the bottom of the standings, yup it's really 2016. At least, I'll get to rewatch Kobe's final game. Wait wait, I'm getting distracted, lock in Tyler".
Tyler wasted no time and headed directly to the zoo. There he saw the one and only Harambe. Tyler was in awe upon seeing the gorilla. Cesar then eventually appeared beside him.
"I never knew Gorillas could be this majestic" Tyler said.
"Told ya he does have that pull. Anywho, we must not waste any time Tyler-san. Harambe will die the next day and we must stop it at any cost" Cesar explained.
"Do you know how he died exactly so that we could prevent it from happening?" Tyler asked.
"Well unfortunately, not much is known regarding the circumstances of his death. All we know is he will die the next day" Cesar explained.
"Hey I thought you planned this perfectly? Didn't bother to look up and do some digging?" Tyler asked.
"I did try Tyler-san but the information was truly limited for some reason. All I know is we must stop Harambe's death, and I have a plan for that" Cesar said.
Cesar explains his plan while Tyler is eating some banana chips.
"We know that Harambe will die the next day. Since he doesn't come out of the zoo at all, we can presume that he'll most likely die here. So the plan is, we must transport him somewhere else in order to prevent this from happening" Cesar explained.
"Somewhere else... like a Chinese restaurant?" Tyler suggested.
"What? Uhh sure.. anywhere but here could work. The tricky part comes on how we will transport him. I'm thinking maybe we could trigger some alarm or something and in the midst of the chaos, we take that opportunity to have him escape and be transported" Cesar continues.
"Or we could save us the trouble and just ask the zookeper" Tyler suggested.
"Uhh... Sure, but I doubt it'll work. Anyways, I'll try to set the alarm undetected and you go and try talking to Haram- Tyler? Tyler?"
Cesar notices Tyler is no longer beside him. He looked for everywhere in the zoo until he saw him talking to a zookeeper.
"Hey Mr. Zookeper, Tyler here. I'm gonna take Harambe to a Chinese restaurant tomorrow ok?" Tyler said.
"Uhh... Sure I guess, whatever. Only if Harambe wants it though kiddo" the zookeper said.
"Alright, bet" Tyler said.
"What the hell?" Cesar was stunned learning it was that easy. Tyler is just built different brother, carry on.
Now all that there remains is Tyler having to convince Harambe of their plan. It won't be easy because first things first, Harambe is a Gorilla so... can he even understand human language? Tyler knew this so he tried something first.
"Hoo Hoo Ha Ha" Tyler said.
"What are you doing Tyler-san?" Cesar asked.
"I'm trying to speak their language okay? Ho Hee Ho Hee" Tyler explained.
Harambe was cold and completely ignored Tyler's attempt of communication.
"I don't know about that... Besides, the last one sounded more like a dying donkey man" Cesar said.
"Gimme a break... Wait a second- that's it! Cesar my man you are a genius" Tyler had an idea (prolly a stupid one still).
"What do you mean?" Cesar was confused.
"You said I sounded like a donkey on the last one while I'm trying to mimic a monkey sound. Donkey? Monkey? See where I'm getting at?" Tyler said.
"I don't understand..." Cesar still confused.
"Who is a famous monkey figure that happened to be named Donkey? Donkey Kong!" Tyler explained.
"Umm... What about them?" Cesar still confused as hell.
"If I amped up my monkey communication while sounding like a donkey you say, I might be able to connect with him!" Tyler said while being proud of his little plan.
"Okay... There's no harm in trying I guess" Cesar was dumbfounded by Tyler's plan.
As Tyler planned, he amped up his monkey noises and dialed it to eleven. All of a sudden, Harambe made a move.
"You're onto something Tyler-san, he is moving now" Cesar said while being surprised.
"What your mama say? Never doubt Tyler!" Tyler proclaimed.
Well Tyler and Cesar couldn't be farther from the truth. Tyler's antics pissed off Harambe as he found the whole thing annoying. He scooped some of the gorilla shit and started hurling it towards Tyler.
"Oh shit! (Literally)" a shocked Tyler said.
It was raining shit at the zoo with the amount of shit Harambe was hurling. All of the visitors got hit or was affected one way or another. One even got their ice cream they were eating replaced by shit and he didn't noticed it till the last second.
Luckily, Tyler managed to dodge them all. The same cannot be said with Cesar as he is the one who suffered the most. His clothes are now covered by gorilla shit.
"Good grief..." Cesar said.
The zoo had to temporarily close early for the day because of the incident. Despite being unsuccessful, Tyler was determined and made a vow to himself that he'll do everything he can to convince Harambe of their plan the next day.
"You're a tough banana to peel Harambe, but I'm not giving up on you easily" Tyler said as he made his exit and thus the end of this shitshow chapter (literally).