Half an hour later, on the grasslands outside Axel.
Iris stared at the three enormous green frogs before her. Each one was as large as a small hill, with lifeless, fishlike eyes and clear slime dripping from the corners of its mouth.
She fell silent for a long moment.
"...Kōichi-sama, these are the ferocious monsters?"
Iris turned toward him with a complicated expression.
"Don't underestimate them! Iris, watch carefully. This is the true strength of the Aqua you admire so much!"
Kōichi pointed at Aqua, who had already charged forward.
Aqua let out a confident battle cry.
"Take this! Holy Punch! You pathetic frogs, turn to mincemeat before the Goddess!"
The very next second, there was a wet smack.
Aqua's petite body vanished straight into the mouth of one of the Giant Toads, leaving only her blue-and-white boots sticking out as her legs kicked frantically.
"Waaaaah! Help me! Kōichi! Kazuma! It stinks! It's full of slime in here! I'm going to be digested! Save me!"
Her muffled screams came from inside the frog.
Iris's smile slowly stiffened.
She looked over at Darkness, who was trying to catch a frog's tongue attack with her face while wearing an ecstatic expression, then at Megumin, who could only throw rocks from the sidelines because it wasn't time to use Explosion Magic yet.
"Um... Kōichi-sama."
Trembling, Iris pointed at the frog that was still trying to swallow Aqua completely.
"I don't remember anything in the Axis Order doctrine I just studied about the Goddess getting eaten by frogs..."
"Now you know. This is reality."
Kōichi calmly folded his arms and watched his teammates receive their baptism of frog slime.
"Iris, if you don't want to end up as a useless wreck covered in slime and crying for help, use the sword in your hand and show these idiots what real combat looks like."
When Darkness saw Iris preparing to move, she shouted,
"Your Highness! Please don't take away my reward! Let that tongue lash me even harder!"
Iris, who had been about to draw her sword, froze.
Still gripping the hilt, she mechanically turned her head toward the Crusader who normally carried herself with such dignity. Darkness's face was now flushed crimson as she willingly tossed her shield aside and thrust out her chest to receive the frog's tongue.
"Lashing... is a reward?"
Iris's voice trembled noticeably. Her large, innocent eyes were filled with profound doubt about the world around her.
"Kōichi-sama, did Darkness-san just say that was... a reward? Is being attacked by monsters considered some kind of honor in Axel? Like receiving a medal at the palace?"
"No, Iris. That's simply perverted behavior. Please don't interpret it in some bizarre way."
With a blank expression, Kōichi covered Iris's eyes, desperately trying to preserve what remained of the princess's crumbling worldview.
"That woman's mind is just a little... No, it's completely broken. Just think of it as some mysterious form of endurance training."
"It's not training! It's a baptism of body and soul!"
The Giant Toad's slick tongue wrapped around Darkness's waist and dragged her toward its foul-smelling mouth. She let out an extremely dangerous gasp.
"Ah! Yes, that's it! Being manhandled by brute force from such a lowly creature, and being forced to show such a shameless side of myself in front of the young princess... This humiliation! It's wonderful! Please, harder!"
"Help me! Kōichi! Is nobody going to save me?! I'm about to get swallowed!"
Nearby, half of Aqua's body had already disappeared into the frog's mouth. Only her legs remained outside, flailing wildly in the air.
"Iris! Hurry and cut it with your Holy Sword! Don't listen to that masochist's nonsense! My clothes are sacred artifacts of the Goddess! They'll shrink if frog stomach acid gets on them! Aaaaaah!"
Iris took a deep breath, finally seeming to make some sense of the chaos.
She pulled away from Kōichi's hand, and her expression gradually became determined. It was the look of someone driven by equal parts justice and pity.
"I understand, Kōichi-sama. Everyone in this Party may be very... unique, but as their teammate, I can't just stand here and watch Sister Aqua get eaten. And I can't let Darkness-san keep going further down the wrong path!"
Iris stepped forward sharply.
A faint but pure golden light began to shine from the longsword wrapped in rags in her hand.
"Everyone, please stand back! Trainee Swordsman Iris is going in!"
She vanished in a blur, moving so quickly that even Kōichi nearly lost sight of her.
Several piercing frog croaks rang out.
The Giant Toads that had been happily swallowing Aqua and tormenting Darkness were instantly knocked to the ground by precise bursts of sword energy.
After the battle, a faint fishy smell of frog lingered over the grassland.
Aqua slid out of the frog's mouth covered from head to toe in slime. The feather mantle she had proudly called a sacred artifact of the Goddess now looked like a rag that had been thoroughly abused by a Slime.
She looked at Iris, standing there gallantly without a single drop of blood on her, then at the contempt in Kōichi's eyes.
Her pride burst like a balloon pricked by a needle.
"Waaaaah! That didn't count! I just let my guard down! That frog was so ugly it threw off my performance!"
Wiping tears and slime from her face, Aqua stumbled over to Iris and grabbed her tightly by the shoulders.
"Iris! Listen carefully! What you just saw was an illusion! To restore my dignity as a Goddess... No, as the Arch Priestess of the Axis Order, I'm going to show you a true miracle that will make the entire world tremble!"
"Huh? A miracle?"
Iris looked worriedly at the piece of frog intestine still dangling from Aqua's head.
"Sister Aqua, you really don't have to push yourself. I actually thought the way you got swallowed earlier was... pretty unique."
"Shut up! Just watch! This is the ultimate secret art that can purify all impurity and heal every wound!"
Aqua suddenly stepped back and struck an incredibly flashy, overdramatic pose.
She closed her eyes. Golden holy light, or so she claimed, flickered faintly around her as she began chanting under her breath.
"Be cleansed here! Be purified here! Let every speck of dust in this world vanish! Take this! Holy High-Level Healing... No, Sacred Create Water! Puri-fyyyyyy!"
Aqua's eyes snapped open.
She pointed both hands at Iris as all the magic in her body erupted at once. Even the surrounding air seemed to tremble beneath the force of that tremendous divine power.
...
A gentle breeze passed through, stirring a few strands of frog hair on the ground.
Iris blinked.
She looked down at her clothes, which had not changed in the slightest, then looked back up at Aqua.
Nothing had happened.
Forget Holy Water for purification. Not even a single drop of tap water had come out.