"These guys really do toss even the most basic teamwork to the Slimes the second they get their hands on some money."
Kōichi rubbed his temples helplessly, then casually tucked the remaining 40 million Eris into his coat. It was the common fund they had originally set aside to repair and renovate their mansion.
When Kōichi pushed open the gates of the grand yet somewhat lonely mansion on the outskirts of town, he wasn't greeted by the slightly forlorn but expectant voice of the Crimson Demon Clan girl as usual.
Instead, a letter sealed with wax lay quietly on the table in the entrance hall.
Kōichi raised an eyebrow, walked over, and opened it. The handwriting was graceful and neat, carrying the writer's characteristic earnestness and awkwardness.
"To Kōichi Hayashi (and everyone): Um... I know this is sudden, but apparently there's some kind of emergency in Crimson Demon Village. The elders contacted me and asked me to return immediately to help deal with it. Since all of you were still in the Royal Capital and hadn't come back yet, I couldn't say goodbye in person. I'm really sorry. As soon as everything is taken care of, I'll come straight back! P.S.: Please don't forget about me, if possible... Yunyun"
"An emergency in Crimson Demon Village?"
Kōichi folded the letter and slipped it into his pocket, muttering to himself.
"Probably some kid setting off forbidden magic like fireworks again, or those crazy Crimson Demon Clan members have invented another bizarre festival. Still, with Yunyun gone, this place really is so quiet that it feels strange."
That silence, however, lasted less than three hours.
As night fell, Axel's nouveau riche celebration officially began.
Aqua was the first to return.
She didn't come back on foot. Four burly men, all drenched in sweat, carried her back.
The enormous carriage behind them was loaded with wine barrels bearing labels marking them as royal-grade goods, while the Goddess herself lay sprawled across the pile, clutching a half-eaten giant lobster in one hand.
"Hehe... Kōichi... come look... I bought out... all the most expensive wine... in Axel... From now on... I'm the Goddess of Wine... Burp!"
Soon after, the mansion's front door was shoved open without ceremony.
Kazuma walked in wearing a gold suit covered in cheap sequins. He looked like a walking disco ball, but his face bore the drained expression of someone whose soul had just experienced transcendence.
"Kōichi... I saw it... I saw Heaven..."
Kazuma leaned against the doorframe, his eyes unfocused.
"That wish list at the Succubus Shop... I filled out three whole pages... Tonight... nobody better wake me up... I'm going to... rule the world in my dreams..."
Megumin was the last one back. She carried a bundle larger than her entire body on her back, with metallic clanging sounds constantly coming from inside.
Her eyepatch had apparently been replaced with a luxurious version set with a ruby, and her whole body radiated the unrestrained confidence of someone who was now filthy rich.
"Kōichi! Look! This is a staff tip forged from Abyssal Black Iron! Tomorrow... tomorrow's Explosion will be at least thirty percent stronger! Hahahaha!"
Kōichi sat on the sofa, staring at his teammates, who had already gone completely wild, along with the empty bottles, scraps, and all manner of expensive yet useless luxury goods scattered across the floor.
"Well, I guess it's actually a good thing Yunyun isn't here."
Kōichi sighed.
"A gathering of fallen heroes like this would probably be a little too much for an innocent girl like her."
He poured himself a glass of the expensive red wine Aqua had brought home and settled comfortably against the costly velvet cushions.
Since everyone else had decided to throw restraint out the window and indulge themselves, there didn't seem to be anything wrong with the team captain occasionally enjoying this shameless rich-person lifestyle too.
Standing in the mansion's hallway, which was covered in expensive carpeting, Kōichi listened to the blissful sleep-talking drifting from Kazuma's room, complete with the occasional creepy "hehehe" at the end.
A strange curiosity began clawing at him.
"A three-page wish list, huh..."
Kōichi rubbed his chin, the corner of his mouth curling into an amused smile.
"With that guy's limited imagination and perverted personality, I figured it'd all be clichés like getting surrounded by bunny girls or becoming some kind of harem king. But three whole pages... That's not just a fantasy anymore. He practically wrote an entire screenplay."
Unable to resist his damned curiosity, Kōichi threw on a cloak and headed back out into the night, returning to the familiar Succubus Shop beneath its suggestively flickering pink sign.
Inside, several shapely Succubuses with small wings were sitting together, counting the night's earnings.
The moment Kōichi entered, the mature and voluptuous Succubus manager greeted him with a practiced, sweet smile.
"Oh my, Kōichi-san. Are you here to reserve another dream overflowing with heroic spirit tonight?"
Kōichi gracefully took a seat at the counter, pulled out a thick stack of Eris, and slid it across to her, his expression unusually serious.
"No reservation tonight. I'm simply curious about the epic wish list my companion, Kazuma Satou, filled out earlier. As his captain, I have to make sure he doesn't get so excited in his dream that he suffers some kind of mental breakdown. We still have plenty of work to do saving the world, after all."
The Succubus manager glanced at the stack of money, then at Kōichi's remarkably convincing face. She covered her mouth and gave a slightly troubled laugh.
"Normally, that would be considered a client's private information... but since it's Kōichi-san asking, I'm sure you're only worried about your companion. That Satou really is an unusual customer. He filled the first two pages of his wish list with all sorts of dramatic phrases. Reuniting at the brink of destruction, bonds of fate, forbidden contracts..."
As she spoke, she pulled a copy from beneath the counter and pointed to the keywords on the final page, her expression growing strange.
"But the central character he ultimately requested for his dream was actually that little Crimson Demon Clan girl who casts Explosion Magic outside the city every day... Megumin, right? The request says: 'In the ruins beneath the setting sun, Megumin collapses into his arms after exhausting her magic. While crying and telling him that he's the most reliable man in the world, she blushes and begs him to teach her something besides Explosion Magic... ahem, adult magic.'"
Kōichi's expression froze.
He had expected something even more depraved, something that pushed the limits much further.
Instead, what he heard was so absurd that he hardly knew how to react.
Kazuma Satou, the same guy who was always claiming he had no interest in little girls and telling flat-chested girls to get lost, secretly desired this kind of chuunibyou pure-love fantasy filled with the satisfaction of watching a girl grow attached to him?
And the girl in question was Megumin?
"Pfft..."
Kōichi finally lost control and burst out laughing right there at the counter.
"Hahahaha! That idiot actually goes looking for this kind of cheap sense of accomplishment in his dreams? And 'adult magic'... Just how badly does he want to finally hold his head high in front of Megumin?"
The Succubus manager laughed along with him.
"That's right. It took the energy and imagination of several high-ranking Succubuses just to create a Megumin who would blush shyly out of admiration for him. Satou is probably enjoying himself right now, surrounded by the happiness of his 'bashful Crimson Demon Clan girl.'"
Kōichi's laughter gradually faded, and a mischievous gleam appeared in his eyes.
He could already picture Kazuma waking up the next morning and walking out of his room looking thoroughly refreshed, only to come face-to-face with the real Megumin.
She would still have the same sharp tongue, still care about nothing but Explosion Magic, and still treat him like a useless shut-in.
The look on his face would be priceless.
"Thanks. That was money well spent."
Kōichi stood up and left the Succubus Shop in complete satisfaction.
***
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