"Ugh... feels like I got hit by a truck."
Wait. I did get hit by a truck.
Arthur's eyes snapped open, a sharp gasp escaping his dry, cracked lips. He braced himself for the sterile white ceiling of a hospital, the beeping of machines, or maybe the panicked voices of paramedics.
Instead, he found himself staring at a rotting wooden beam overhead, illuminated by the flickering light of a single, dying candle.
The pungent smell of dried medicinal herbs and stale blood assaulted his nose. He tried to sit up, but a searing, white-hot pain shot through his chest, forcing a groan from his throat as he collapsed back onto the hard, uncomfortable straw bed.
What is this place? Where am I?
Suddenly, a massive migraine struck him. It felt as if a thousand needles were being driven directly into his brain. Along with the pain came a flood of memories that definitely did not belong to him.
He saw memories of soaring through the skies on flying swords, a vast continent ruled by those with absolute power, and giant beasts that could swallow mountains.
He also saw the life of a boy named Li Jian. A completely talentless, fifteen-year-old outer disciple of the 'Azure Peak Sect'. A boy who was beaten half to death yesterday just because he accidentally stood in the way of an inner sect elder's carriage.
The memories faded, leaving Arthur gasping for air, his clothes drenched in cold sweat.
Arthur—no, he was Li Jian now—let out a weak, bitter laugh that echoed in the tiny, rundown wooden shack.
"You've got to be kidding me," he muttered, his voice raspy and unfamiliar to his own ears. "I worked eighty-hour weeks as an accountant, finally got my first vacation in three years, died on the way to the airport, and woke up as a trash-tier cultivator at the bottom of the food chain?"
He slowly raised his hands, staring at his small, bruised, and unfamiliar fingers in the dim light.
In this world, strength was everything. The weak were trampled, and the strong lived forever. According to Li Jian's memories, outer disciples like him were expected to fight tooth and nail, scheme against each other, and risk their lives daily just for a single spiritual pill to improve their cultivation base.
Li Jian let his hands drop to his sides and let out a long, exhausted sigh.
"Yeah, no. I'm not doing that."
He stared blankly at the wooden ceiling, his modern, overworked soul making the easiest decision of its two lifetimes.
"Forget ascending to the heavens. Forget fighting arrogant young masters. As soon as my ribs heal, I'm leaving this sect, finding a quiet village, and opening a tea shop. I just want to sleep for eight hours a day."
Suddenly, a mechanical chime rang out in his mind, clear as a bell.
[Ding!] [The 'Ultimate Leisure System' has detected the host's absolute lack of ambition.] [Binding successful.]
Li Jian blinked. "A system? Wait, don't tell me..."
[Host's goal: Live a peaceful, stress-free life. Reward for giving up Cultivation: 'Supreme Tea Brewing Technique (Level 1)'.]
A genuine smile crept onto Li Jian's bruised face. Finally, the universe was making some sense.