Looking back now, I realize something painful.
I should never have softened my heart for him.
At the time, I only saw him as a younger brother, someone fragile, someone lost in the dark who needed a hand to guide him back into the light.
I thought I could help him.
I thought kindness would be enough.
But fate has a strange sense of humor.
Sometimes the people we try to save are the ones who change our lives forever.
And sometimes…
heaven plays a cruel joke.
Junhoo
I have always felt like a mistake that somehow slipped into a perfect family.
My mother is a lawyer.
My father is a doctor.
My older siblings move through life like they were born knowing exactly where they belong.
And then there is me.
Junhoo.
The son who keeps falling behind.
That morning, when I opened my university results, my hands were shaking.
My GPA had dropped again.
I had failed one of my core courses and barely passed two others.
My name sat near the bottom of the department list.
It wasn't just bad.
It was humiliating.
I stared at the numbers on the screen for a long time, hoping they would somehow change.
They didn't.
Around me, students were celebrating.
Some were talking about scholarships.
Others were planning internships abroad.
Their voices filled the hallway with excitement about futures that seemed bright and certain.
Meanwhile, I felt like I was standing still while everyone else moved forward.
At home, no one said anything directly.
But silence can say more than words.
My mother's careful pauses.
My father's quiet disappointment.
My siblings' effortless success.
Together they formed a message I couldn't ignore.
I was the failure.
The black sheep.
I didn't go home that day.
Instead, I walked.
I walked through streets full of strangers who didn't know my name.
Past buildings that didn't care about my grades.
The city didn't judge me.
It simply existed.
And somehow that made breathing easier.
Still, the voice in my head wouldn't stop.
You're not good enough.
You're wasting your family's name.
You're falling apart.
I kept walking until the world around me blurred.
And that was when I saw him.
A man stood too close to the road.
He looked lost in thought.
His shoulders were slightly hunched, his face tired in a way I recognized immediately—the look of someone carrying far too much alone.
Then a horn blared.
Everything happened in an instant.
I didn't think.
I ran.
I grabbed his arm and shoved him away from the street just as a car rushed past.
The force sent both of us stumbling.
He hit the ground hard.
For a second my heart stopped.
But I knew it would have been worse if I hadn't moved.
Later that evening I sat beside his hospital bed, still shaking.
The room smelled faintly of disinfectant.
Machines hummed quietly in the background.
The man lying in the bed looked pale and exhausted.
At that moment, he was just someone I had saved.
Just a stranger.
But then he turned his head slightly.
The light from the window fell across his face.
And my heart stopped.
It was him.
Kim Sok-joo.
My senior.
The boy I had followed through crowded university hallways.
The boy whose voice always calmed me when I was nervous.
The only person in college who had never made me feel like a failure.
The one I had loved quietly… painfully… from a distance.
For a moment I couldn't breathe.
Memories flooded my mind.
Him helping me study.
Him standing between me and the students who mocked me.
Him telling me something no one else had ever said.
"You're not stupid, Junhoo."
"You're just trying harder than everyone else."
He had been my safe place.
And now he was lying there, injured, unaware that I was sitting beside him.
Years had passed.
An entire lifetime, it felt like.
I didn't know if he would remember me.
And honestly…
I wasn't sure I wanted him to.
Because if he did remember, he would see what I had become.
A student with failing grades.
A son disappointing his family.
Someone who still felt small and lost.
I didn't think my heart could survive that.
So I sat quietly, hoping he would wake up and see only a stranger.
Not the boy who once loved him with everything he had.
Eventually Sok-joo stirred.
His eyes opened slowly.
He looked confused for a moment.
Then he noticed me.
"Hello… my name is Kim Sok-joo," he said softly.
He paused awkwardly.
"Sorry. I'm not really sure what to say."
I nodded gently.
"Just continue."
He took a breath.
"I wasn't trying to hurt myself or anything," he explained quickly.
"I just didn't notice the car."
His voice softened.
"And… thank you. For saving me."
I felt my chest tighten.
"Don't worry about the hospital bill," he added.
"I'll take care of it."
For a moment I simply looked at him.
The same calm voice.
The same gentle eyes.
He hadn't changed.
"Since you're okay," I said quietly, "I should probably go."
"Thank you," he said again.
I nodded.
"You're welcome."
The conversation was simple.
But the silence between us was heavy—filled with words neither of us was ready to speak.
When Sok-joo finally returned home that night, his body felt completely drained.
His head still throbbed.
The day had been too much.
The bullying.
The tension with Rider.
The accident.
Everything blended together into a dull exhaustion.
He lay on his bed and stared at the ceiling.
Then his phone rang.
The name on the screen made his heart jump.
Charlie.
Leader of Rider.
His crush.
For a moment Sok-joo simply stared at the phone before answering.
"Hello?"
"Kim," Charlie said.
His voice sounded calm, but there was concern in it.
"I wanted to apologize again for what happened earlier today… and check if you're alright."
Warmth spread slowly through Sok-joo's chest.
Despite everything that had happened, the fact that Charlie had called him personally made the day feel lighter.
"I'm okay," Sok-joo said softly.
"Really."
"That's good," Charlie replied.
"I'll see you tomorrow then. Get some rest."
"Okay."
When the call ended, Sok-joo lay there quietly.
His heart was still beating fast.
Then a strange thought crossed his mind.
How did Charlie get my number?
But exhaustion quickly swallowed the question.
He was too tired to think about it.
Too relieved.
Too strangely happy.
All he knew was that Charlie had called
And somehow…
that made the night feel a little brighter.