The last time I stood in this city… I almost died.
Seven years later, I came back carrying my daughter in my arms.
The streets looked the same as I remembered them. Cars moved past slowly, people walked by with busy expressions, and the tall buildings stood quietly under the afternoon sun.
No one paid attention to me.
To them, I was just another stranger standing on the sidewalk.
They had no idea that a young man had once bled on these very streets… that this city had almost swallowed him whole.
I adjusted my daughter gently against my shoulder. She slept peacefully, her small fingers curled into my shirt as if she trusted the world completely.
I looked down at her soft face and sighed.
"You're lucky," I whispered quietly.
"You don't know this city yet."
But the moment I stepped back here, the memories returned.
Memories of the boy I used to be.
A boy who never seemed to belong anywhere.
Seven Years Earlier
Growing up in this city was never easy.
For most people, school was a place where they made friends and laughed together.
For me, it was different.
I learned very early that people could dislike someone without even knowing them.
Smetimes the bullying came in the form of whispers.
Sometimes it came in the form of laughter.
But most of the time… it came through silence.
One afternoon in class, I heard two students whispering behind me.
"Don't sit near him," one of them muttered.
"Why?" the other asked.
"He's weird."
They didn't bother lowering their voices.
They knew I could hear them.
I stared down at my notebook and pretended I hadn't noticed.
The chair beside me remained empty for the rest of the school year.
I tried to change myself.
I tried to talk more.
I tried to smile more.
But no matter what I did, I was always the strange boy people avoided.
One evening, while watching me struggle to hold a conversation with a neighbor, my mother sighed.
"I wish you could just be normal."
She probably didn't mean to hurt me.
But those words stayed with me for years.
After that day, I stopped trying so hard.
I became quiet.
Careful.
Invisible.
And then, in 2015, something unexpected happened.
That was the year I discovered Rider.
A Chinese K-pop group that had suddenly become popular online.
At first, I only listened to their music out of curiosity. Their songs were catchy, and everyone at school seemed to be talking about them.
But the moment I watched one of their performances, something inside me changed.
Their world looked bright.
Colorful.
Alive.
So different from the quiet loneliness of my own life.
But it was their leader who captured my attention the most.
Charlie.
The moment he appeared on the screen, smiling softly at the audience, my chest tightened.
There was something warm about him.
Something gentle.
The way he spoke felt sincere, like he truly cared about the people watching him.
Sometimes, when I listened to his voice through my headphones late at night, it felt like he was speaking directly to me.
Like he understood the loneliness I never told anyone about.
I didn't want to touch him.
I didn't want to own him.
I just wanted to see him.
So I started collecting everything related to Rider.
Their albums.
Their magazines.
Their posters.
Anything that proved they were real.
Whenever Rider visited my city, I would skip class and stand far away from the crowd just to watch them arrive.
Fans would scream and rush forward with excitement.
But I stayed behind.
Quietly observing from a distance.
Just seeing Charlie smile in real life was enough.
I wasn't crazy.
I was just a lonely boy who had learned how to breathe by loving someone from far away.
In a world that never seemed to want me…
Charlie gave me a reason to stay alive.
Seven years ago, he had only been a face on a screen.
A voice in my headphones.
A dream I believed I would never touch.
But one day, everything changed.
Two months earlier, I had sent my résumé to an art company.
I worked as a videographer and sometimes helped guide creative teams during filming projects.
Music had always interested me, so I thought maybe I could work in that industry someday.
I didn't even bother checking who owned the company.
That was my mistake.
Two months passed with no reply.
I had almost forgotten about the application when an email suddenly arrived inviting me for an interview.
When I read the company name, my heart nearly stopped.
Rider Entertainment.
The same company that managed the group I had admired for years.
The day of the interview, my hands wouldn't stop shaking.
Stay calm, I kept telling myself.
Be professional.
Do your best.
When I entered the building, everything looked sleek and modern. Posters of Rider covered the walls, showing the members smiling confidently at the camera.
My legs almost gave out.
Then I saw movement through the glass wall of a nearby practice room.
Inside were the members of Rider.
They were practicing their choreography, laughing and joking with each other between dance steps.
Seeing them like that felt strange.
They looked so normal.
So relaxed.
Like they weren't the center of someone's entire world.
My entire body froze.
Without thinking, I stepped backward and pressed myself against the hallway wall.
"Why are you hiding?"
I nearly jumped.
The receptionist stood behind her desk, staring at me curiously.
"I… I'm not hiding," I said quickly.
She raised an eyebrow.
"You're literally pressed against the wall."
My face burned with embarrassment.
"I just… got nervous."
"Well," she said with a small smile, "your interview room is down the hall."
The interview itself went surprisingly well.
They asked about my experience.
My work style.
How I handled stressful environments.
I answered carefully, trying to sound confident even though my heart kept racing.
When the interview ended, one of the managers smiled politely.
"We'll contact you soon."
I thanked them and left the building, my legs still trembling.
Then something happened that I would never forget.
The elevator doors were closing when suddenly several people rushed inside.
They were laughing and talking loudly.
My breath stopped.
Rider.
All of them.
And standing right in front of me…
was Charlie.
He was so close I could feel the warmth of his body.
My heart began pounding so loudly I thought everyone could hear it.
For seven years I had watched him through a screen.
Now he was standing right in front of me.
Real.
Alive.
Perfect.
I stared too long.
And then I saw something unexpected in his eyes.
Unease.
To him, I probably looked like some strange fan staring at him.
The elevator doors opened again.
The members stepped out together.
Just like that… they were gone.
When the doors closed, my legs gave out.
I slid down the wall, pressing my hand against my chest as I struggled to breathe.
Seven years.
Seven years of loving someone from far away…
And he had just stood right in front of me.
Then walked away.
Outside the building, excitement suddenly overwhelmed me.
"I actually saw him," I whispered.
A laugh escaped my mouth.
Before I realized what I was doing, I started dancing like an idiot on the sidewalk.
Then suddenly…
SPLASH.
A passing car sprayed dirty water across my clothes.
Reality returned instantly.
"…Okay," I muttered.
"Maybe I deserved that."
Later that evening, I sat in my favorite café across from my friend Ji-hyuk.
He leaned forward with wide eyes.
"Wait… you're serious?" he said.
"You were in the same elevator as Rider?"
"Yes."
"And Charlie was standing right in front of you?"
"Yes."
Ji-hyuk slapped the table.
"And you didn't say anything?!"
"I almost fainted!"
He stared at me in disbelief.
"You are unbelievable."
Just then, my phone rang.
Unknown number.
My heart skipped.
"Hello?"
"Good afternoon," a voice said. "This is Rider Entertainment."
My grip tightened around the phone.
"We reviewed your interview."
My breath caught.
"And we would like to offer you a position."
My eyes widened.
"Really?"
"Yes. Starting next week."
Joy exploded inside me.
But the next words froze my brain.
"You will not be working as a videographer."
My stomach dropped.
"Then… what position?"
"You will be joining the team as Rider's new manager."
The world spun.
Charlie.
My idol.
The man I had loved from afar for seven years.
And now…
I would be working beside him.
The phone slipped from my hand.
Everything went black.
A car slowing in front of me suddenly pulled me out of my memories.
I blinked.
My daughter stirred slightly in my arms.
The car looked painfully familiar.
My heart began to pound.
No…
It couldn't be.
Then the driver stepped out.
Junhoo.
Charlie's brother.
My heart froze.
One day, even my own mother told me she wished I could be normal.
She didn't know how deep that sentence would cut me.
So I became quiet.
I became careful.
I learned how to hide inside myself.
Then in 2015, I found Rider.
They were a Chinese K-pop group.
When I saw them on my screen, it felt like another world opened for me.
Their music spoke to the part of me that no one ever listened to.
But their leader… he changed everything.
The way he smiled was soft and kind.
His voice felt like it could hold broken hearts together.
I didn't want to touch him.
I didn't want to own him.
I just wanted to see him.
So I bought their albums.
Their magazines.
Every small thing that proved he was real.
Sometimes, when Rider came to town, I skipped class to stand far away and watch him walk past.
I wasn't crazy.
I was just a lonely boy who learned how to breathe by loving someone from far away.
In a world that never wanted me,
He gave me a reason to stay alive
I never thought I would get this close to him.
Seven years ago, he was only a face on a screen.
A voice in my headphones.
A dream I could never touch.
Now, I was standing in an office, face to face with him, and my heart felt like it was going to burst.
I thought I would faint.
Two months earlier, I had sent my résumé to an art company.
I'm a videographer, but I also know how to teach and guide people.
I thought maybe I could work in music too.
I didn't even check who owned the company.
That was my mistake.
They took two months to reply.
Two long months.
When they finally did, I told myself to be calm.
To be professional.
To do my best.
I didn't know the company belonged to the man I had loved for seven years.
When I walked into the building, I saw MKTO in the practice room
Laughing.
Playing.
Like they weren't the centre of my whole world once.
I froze and hid behind the wall.
"Why are you hiding?" the receptionist asked.
"I… I don't know," I said.
The interview went well.
They told me they would call.
I left shaking.
Then, in the elevator, the doors were closing, and suddenly the Riders rushed in
All of them.
Including him.
He stood so close I could feel his warmth.
I stared too long.
I saw the fear in his eyes.
To him, I must have looked strange.
When they left, I slid down the wall and couldn't breathe.
Seven years of loving him from far away had just stood in front of me… and walked away.
Outside the building, I started dancing like a fool.
I had finally seen him in real life.
Then a car splashed water all over me, pulling me back to reality.
I went to my favourite café and told my friend Ji-hyuk everything.
Then my phone rang.
I got the job.
Not as a videographer.
Not as a teacher.
But as rider's manager.
The world spun.
And I fainted.
Because loving someone from far away is one thing,
But being pulled into their world is something else.
I was pulled out of my thoughts when a car slowed in front of me… one that looked painfully familiar.
Could it be him?
No… it couldn't be.
Then I saw the driver.
Junhoo.
My heart froze.