"That's where I met you, ####. You and your mother. Back then, your father's disappearance hadn't yet broken Mayu the way it would later. She still smiled and laughed with you in her arms. I still remember her face every time you held her hands or grabbed at her hair. It was almost… almost comforting for me, after going so many years without seeing anything like it.
"At the hospital where I worked, everything was so loud, yet so gloomy. It reminded me too much of death, and I suppose I was unlucky enough to be tied to it every single day. Every patient I cared for, no matter how stable they first seemed, would eventually take a turn for the worse and slip away in that same white room they were confined to. The long, flat beep of the heart monitor, the way the warmth slowly left their body, as if life had been unjustly stolen from them. I was there… I was always there to pronounce their death, and always there to see them off.
"So when I met you and your mother, and was appointed as the personal nurse for such a small child, I felt so glad. Glad, but frightened at the same time. I was afraid that curse would follow me here too. But it didn't —not for most of that year I spent with you. Still, my worry grew with each passing day. Soon we were approaching the threshold no patient of mine had ever survived past, but… but you did. You lived.
"I was so happy, you can't imagine. So happy that I forgot everything else going on in the hospital, everything happening on the floor below. Hundreds of white-coated researchers crowded into that underground network beneath the 'hospital.' White lines defiling seas of flickering horizontal screens. The truth is, I didn't forget them. I chose to ignore them, for my own happiness… Because I wanted to hold on to this quiet life with you. I kept you in the dark and used you to fill the emptiness I had been craving to heal, all because I was too much of a coward… That's what I was. A coward…"
Liz let her head sink into her open palm, her elbow resting on her knees, and gave a small, trembling shake of her head before forcing herself upright and declaring, "Okay! That's enough for tonight, missy. Let's get you all bundled up and into bed."
I could tell by the heaviness in her voice. Even though she tried to shrug it off with a smile, it still weighed on her. Even if I didn't fully understand it all, I could feel it… I didn't need the rest of the story to understand why Liz was so kind, why she was so attached to me. I didn't need her to keep digging into a past she had tried so hard not to revisit. I had already wronged her by pressing her for answers for the past two months, and it hurt me just as much to hear how much pain she was in.
"I'm sorry, Liz. I didn't mean to push so hard. I just… I jus—"
"It's fine. Anyone would want answers after all that happened. If I were in your place, I wouldn't have acted any differently. But for now, let's stop here."
"Mhm."
"Guess what, ####."
"What?"
"Well, you're supposed to guess."
"Hmmm, are we going out tomorrow?"
"Close, but where do you think we're going?"
"Uhmm, into town maybe? Like you promised?"
"Yeah! And guess who we're going to see!"
"Uhmm—"
"Mayu! Your mom, ####. I know how much you've missed her, and I finally found out where she moved to. It's actually not that far, still here in town."
"Mom? Really?"
"Yeah, but only if you sleep well."
Liz rose from the chair, tucked the blanket carefully around me, and kissed my forehead goodnight.
"Do you want me to leave the curtains open?"
"Yeah. Goodnight, Liz."
"Goodnight, ####."
At those words, Liz left the room and closed the door softly behind her. I couldn't contain my excitement and started tossing around in bed, tangling the sheets and the blanket around me. My fists clutched at them and squirmed uncontrollably, and so did my legs. Not since that day—when Mom came to visit me for my birthday—had I seen or heard from her. Not since I woke up, not since the day we fled the 'hospital.'
The door creaked open again, and Liz spoke without coming in. "Oh, and I will tell you on the way there what happened while you were asleep. That's the least I owe you."
"Thank… you, Liz."
This owe again…
She closed the door again, and the restless energy that had made me toss and turn drained away all at once, replaced by a cold fear of what was to come. Now that I was finally about to learn the truth, I wasn't so sure I wanted it anymore. I knew that day Mom had tried to kill me. No matter how I tried to phrase it, I couldn't find any kinder explanation. Mom had tried to kill herself, and to kill me too. But even then… even when I found myself turning that day over in my mind, I had to come to terms with it. I couldn't bring myself to hate her, but I couldn't quite bring myself to love her either. No matter what I thought, she was still my mother. I was scared to see her again, but I ached to meet her once more. I was scared to speak to her again, but I longed to hear her voice. I was scared of what was to come, but I still looked forward to it… Because no matter where I went, or how my life turned out, Mom would still be Mom.
* * *
The next morning, I woke up much earlier than usual. The moment I remembered where we were going today, I sprang out of bed and made my way along the wall to the kitchen, where the ever-caring pink shape that was Liz was already making breakfast.
"Good morning, Liz."
Liz turned, surprised to hear me up so early, her humming trailing off. "Oh! ####, you're up early today."
"Mhm. I'm really excited."
She set down what she was holding on the counter and guided me to a chair. "I'm making pancakes, but since you're up already, you'll have to wait a little."
"Okay."
Liz went back to the stove and resumed humming the same soft tune I'd heard when I came into the kitchen. She seemed even more joyful than I was today. I guessed she was excited to see Mom too.
A little later, I devoured the stack of pancakes Liz set in front of me while she went to get ready. When she finished, she helped me bathe and get dressed, and then we bundled into our winter clothes by the front door.
"I'll bring your wheelchair."
I caught her hands and held her back. "It's fine… I want to walk today."
"Are you sure?"
"Yeah. I want to get stronger on my own."
"That's my girl," she said, patting my hair gently.
After we put on our boots and snuggled into our jackets, Liz opened the door, and a sharp wave of winter air brushed my nose and cheeks. It wasn't as bitter as yesterday, but the occasional gust still numbed my face for a moment. Liz, who had been holding my hand to steady me, noticed and wrapped her scarf around me.
The path from our little house near the edge of the mountain was still blanketed in snow from yesterday's storm, so walking was a little difficult. Luckily, Liz had bought me tall boots, so my toes stayed warm in my socks and no snow slipped in.
"Say, Liz. Could you tell me now? About what happened with Mom?"
"Oh… yeah. I did say I would."
The snow crunched satisfyingly under our boots, and with the two of us walking together, it was pleasant to hear it doubled. I sometimes let go of Liz's hand and shuffled around a little just to hear it more, knowing the snow would grow thinner the farther we got from the path. I wanted to enjoy it while it was still deep and crisp.
"That day… Mrs. Mayu tried to take her own life, and yours with it. But in the end, she only went so far as to stab you—not herself."
I dug into my memory, piecing together the scattered fragments I still had from that day. When it happened, Liz hadn't gone to my wound right away. She had been torn between me and Mom, until finally I heard her scream at Mom to leave. Then the room flooded with color, and my memory went blurred and dark.
"I took the knife from her and told her to leave."
"Why? Why did you tell her to leave?"
"I know you might not understand this yet, but if someone had walked in and seen us like that—and someone very likely would have—we would both have been accused of attempted murder. And if, God forbid, you had died that day, we would both have been accused of murder. So… if both of us were taken away, there would be no one left to look after you. I did what I thought was best for you. I stayed in the room and made Mayu leave, so they would only find me holding the knife. And they did. But now that I think about it," she chuckled softly, shakily, "she was covered in blood. How could I have been so foolish to think that plan would work? And yet, fortunately for me… it did. It really did. She got out, and I never heard from her again."
The snow-covered path was gradually thinning beneath us, and I could tell we were reaching town when my boots began to scrape against gravel. Liz kept on with her story, pausing now and then to breathe and to hold back the emotion rising in her voice.
"Right away, they took you to intensive care, and before I knew it, you had vanished from my reach. I thought to myself, 'Maybe it's that curse again. Just when I thought I'd finally escaped it.' Seeing your small body covered in blood stripped me of all will to fight. I told myself that if you died that day, a part of me would die that day too. I was at the police station when a strange-looking man told me that you hadn't died. I broke down crying on that hard wooden bench—that night, I cried tears of pure joy. I don't know what strings those researchers pulled, but that same night they released me without a trial, without any of the usual procedures. They didn't even take my fingerprints or my personal belongings. They just let me go, like that.
But when I got home, there was a letter waiting for me in the mailbox, sealed with the same seal as eight years ago. Inside was only a single folded sheet with one line: 'Your contract has been forcefully terminated. Thank you for your services.' And at the bottom, when I unfolded the last crease of the paper, there was the research center's logo. The same blue snake coiling around a cube. At the same time, another piece of paper slipped from the last fold, a little smaller than the first. That one was from Evan—the head of the research institute, and the one who had taken on the role of your doctor. I kept that letter. I'll show it to you when we come back from seeing Mayu.
"From it, that's how I learned that you were sleeping, and roughly when you would wake up. And that's what made me decide to do what I did. Thanks to that letter, I knew you were still alive. And because of it, I was able to carry out my plan so perfectly… It's almost as if… as if he knew I would try something like that."
Liz's steps slowed steadily, and she lifted her free hand as she walked, resting her fingers thoughtfully against her chin. "Almost as if Evan meant for it to— Ah! There it is!"
Liz suddenly stopped and guided my hand to the left. I understood we had arrived when she pressed my palm against a nameplate. It felt kind of old, but its surface was smooth and cold from the snow.
"What's written on it?"
"Mayu Fayewoud. It's the same as yours, silly. This home belongs to you too, ####."
"Excuse me?" An unfamiliar voice reached us from Liz's side. She let go of my hand and turned toward the person, while I shrank back and hid behind her. "Are you acquainted with the person living there?"
"Yes, we are," Liz answered.
"Please don't take this the wrong way, but there's been a strange smell coming from this place. I'm not sure what's causing it, but it's becoming unbearable. Would you be able to look into it?"
"Uh— yes. Of course."
"Thank you."
The faint, sparkly yellow of the man who had spoken with Liz faded into the distance, swallowed by the far-off darkness.
"Well, that's weird. Let's go in, shall we?"
Liz took my hand again, and we stepped onto my mother's property together.