IT WAS THE START of another morning-or rather a beginning of a brand new school day. After getting dressed in my school uniform and finished my breakfast. I looked at the clock and saw the time. The clock hits exactly at 11:32 a.m. in the morning, it was almost the middle of the noon. I double checked my stuff before I left the house. I bid goodbye to my mother and pet my dog as I was opening the front gate of the house.
"Bye Ma, I'm off to school now." I slightly shouted in a polite manner
"Mmm, stay safe! Oh, wait, don't forget, please check the messages in our GC first before you finished school mkay? Maybe I'll have you buy something from the public store suddenly."
"I will Ma, see you later."
I then started walking in my subdivision and casually stared at the surroundings of my neighborhood. The flowers are in full bloom, grasses are waving, trees are radiant because of the sun's rays, the breeze of the wind slightly blows in my way, neighbors talking to each other in a friendly manner, vendor's having a polite conversation with the kids.
After casually observing my subdivision. I intrusively thought of a question.
"Will people really show their true nature?"
A question that pops up in my mind. Do people ever really show who they really are- or only the version that they're most convenient with? When a person walks towards you, they directed their smiles, but beneath that is with an intent. Did they walk up to you because your presence feels safe-or because they need something that only you can provide? It's uncannily uncertain.
I don't understand people that much- yet they show gestures that naturally gives us an idea to understand as to what kind of nature describes their personality really well, and yet…
Even with the gestures they kept showing- does not fully convince me whatsoever.
Actions and words come in and out so easily, but intentions hide quietly behind them. People tend to show their good side- or rather they don't want to let out the unpleasant version of themselves. It's just their way to build their reputation in order for people to like them. I mean, why would they show behaviour that conspires hatred from their peers in the first place? Every individual has two faces when it comes to their relationship of interacting with a certain person. They can even shift their own way of treating individuals. Choosing personalities that suit the person they're interacting with. Similarly, like a toolbox.
A person will show a variety of emotions that take actions in showing one's personality and other means necessary to influence the people in their environment.
Well in some cases, the worst case scenario is that the reputation you've built upon will just fall apart just by one mistake. That is why- we individuals are on guard with our status like our lives depend on it.
As Benjamin Franklin once said "it takes many good deeds to build a good reputation, and only a bad one to lose it."
Judgment.. how do I put it? it can be morally upright, yet iniquity seems to be in favor oft because it carries more weight to it. In this era, we live in a society that is heavily based on your merits, reputation, origins, experience, and everything that is displayed throughout your life. That's why people are having a hard time finding jobs that they need for a living in this season. One example is in the Philippines; finding a job in this society is quite hard because of the requirements needed.
"We listen, We dont judge"- It's all damn lies I tell you! That type of motto is ass. What a comfortable lie..
The truth is, we always judge instinctively and subconsciously against someone's confession of wrongdoings because of our own sense of right and wrong. It's just human nature. That's exactly why even if someone really did open-up, relief never truly comes. Instead- they met up with chains of doubts comes running through their minds, scared of the possibility of someone leaking it.
Then unexpectingly, rumours will appear out of nowhere about you. And even worse.. people kept adding twisted versions of the truth that are mixed with lies that were never been spoken about you. Even trying to clear it up feels pointless because the damage has already been done.
The sad reality is if they heard the rumours they will also likely to believe it. I know some individuals doesn't necessarily believe it willingly, but the majority of the population are mostly on the other side of the scale that does.
Unfortunately for me- I was a victim of an evolved rumour that followed me in my senior high school life, giving me a hard time. That is why- I will never trust people that easily ever again. I will only rely on myself, if people ever look down on me- I will not be bothered, I will not hesitate and let my words reach them and tell them what I really feel and protect my own space. I may sound narcissistic, thinking that I could handle everything on my own. I do believe that "No Man Is An Island", but based on my experience so far- what's even the point in seeking help from others if they are contemplated and hesitant to even help me? but of course the sole exception will be on group projects, reporting, and research, anything else is alright.
I don't want to confuse solitude and being lonely; I enjoy being alone. Its just.. interacting with people is tiring and draining. Even I know that we need our alone time and enjoy with being with ourselves. Don't confuse us loners for being lonely.
I have a couple of folks that I can confidently call best friends. I'm not qualified to be boastful and say I have a lot of friends, but hey, having a simple circle you're comfortable with is better than having a big one where you can't trust at all.
It's just so rare to find individuals to be mature and emotionally intelligent. It's like a distant dream that I can't even grasp... I guess we really are made to be unique and have opposing opinions huh?
Sometimes I wonder if the good and the bad traits are even balanced in our world. I was hoping.. just hoping.. I can find more unique people that I can interact with, and talk about things that we have the same interest in.
I stood outside of my subdivision waiting for a jeep to pass by.
I was answering my own question for a couple of minutes, and yet I saw no sign of a jeep arriving. There was some jeep that passed by, but it's not the jeep that will take me to the place that I wanted it too. Commuting really is a tardy way of traveling.
Speaking of the devil, I saw my preferred ride. I raised my hand signaling the jeepney driver that I was going to take a ride. The driver saw me and slowly stopped the vehicle. I went on and gave my fee and we went off.
Jargons:
[1] Jeep- One of the most common transportation vehicles in the Philippines used for transportation that takes you to the allocated location of where you want to be.
[2] Commuting- An individual who takes public transportation.