Beep-beep-boop! Clunk!
With the hand not holding the cat, I punch in the door lock code and fling open the front door in a hurry.
"Uh, what do I do with this?"
I picked her up because she was so cute, but now that I've brought her inside, I have no idea what to do next.
"Should I have taken her to a vet? Is anywhere even open this late? Ah... I drank too much to drive anyway, so maybe call a taxi? No, she wasn't hurt or anything, so she's probably just hungry."
There might be milk in the fridge. And I'm sure there's a can of tuna in the cupboard... That was about the extent of what my cat-ignorant brain could think of as cat food.
"Milk first, maybe? Oh, right, put her down before that."
As I went to set the cat on the floor from my arm, the thought of this poor thing lying on the cold hard ground again made my heart ache.
'At least give her a cushion.'
Holding her tight, I head straight to my room.
I grab the cushion from the chair, lay it down next to the mattress, and gently place the cat on it.
"Myaa... Mreeow..."
The moment her paws touch down, she lets out another adorable "mreeow"!
"So... so cute... But is this really a cat? Why does she meow like that?"
"Mreeow?"
She struggles to lift her head and gazes at me with those pitiful eyes.
That look seems to say, "If I'm not a cat, will you throw me out?" So I decide not to worry if she's a cat or just some cat-like creature.
"Heh heh, as long as she's cute, that's what matters! People cry and wail all sorts of ways too, right? Cats must be the same. Anyway, where was I...? Oh yeah, milk. Milk."
After gazing contentedly at the cat lying obediently, I dash to the kitchen, grab the milk and tuna can. I pour the milk into a shallow bowl for easy lapping and plate the tuna in case the can edge hurts her.
"This is some top-tier service!"
Pat pat pat.
I hurry back and set the food right under her nose. She sniffs it cautiously for a second, then dives in, lapping it up greedily.
Lick lick.
"...Mreeow?"
"Oh yeah, that's it. Good girl. Lap it up, nice and steady! Stay put and eat, okay? Bro's gonna go wash up."
"Myaa!"
Seeing color return to her face almost instantly after the milk and tuna, my tension melts away.
'Guess she really was just starving. She's scarfing it down. Whew... Still, better safe than sorry—take her to the vet tomorrow. I think strays need shots or something.'
It was still the chilly end of winter, so I usually showered every other day, but I'd been out, sweated buckets fleeing the interview, and reeked.
"Ahem... Why is this smell so damn addictive?"
I sniff my pits a few times, grab a change of clothes, and head into the bathroom.
The mirror greets me with my ugly mug the second I open the door.
"Well, hello there, handsome! Haha!"
I flash a thumbs-up at my reflection a few times, then turn on the shower.
Shhh—warm water sprays out right away.
"Ahh... Oh yeah. Feels so good. Ahh!"
This warm soak is when my brain works best.
Too bad the booze kicks back in as my body warms up.
From the day's events to all sorts of fantasies, my mind races.
"Ugh, that bitch! Still pisses me off! If I looked like Won Bin, how dare she treat me like that?"
I recall the woman who humiliated me at the interview.
"I'd teach her a lesson with this dick! Hup! Hyah!"
I shake the heavy beast in my crotch a few times.
Slosh slosh.
"Ah, aaaah! How could you not appreciate such a mighty tool? I-I'm sorry! Punish this fool with your fiery rod!"
I replay her getting disciplined in my fantasy, then deflate.
"Fuck. No chance for me. Not hot, no skills, no inheritance... Am I gonna die a virgin?"
That's right. Despite packing this prime meat, I'm a pure 30-year-old with zero experience.
'All those other guys are filthy! How do they just stick it in and out of that piss hole? So unclean!'
"...I wanna get filthy as fuck."
It wasn't just my looks or lack of talent keeping me a virgin.
I'm no goody-two-shoes either—could just hit a brothel if desperate.
The issue? I'm a total introverted coward.
'What if I go to lose it and cops bust the place?' That thought keeps my feet planted.
Plus, my friends are the same type—no one's dragging me along.
"Argh! They say turning 30 still a virgin makes you a wizard, but what a load of crap... Wait, Korean age? Hold out one more year? Heh heh."
I'm babbling nonsense, feeling too down, so I think of the kitty I picked up.
"Aww, so cute! Yeah... No girlfriend anyway, so let's raise a cute kitty. Can't let myself get depressed like this. Sigh, but feeding a cat means job hunting again. Fuck. Should've bought Bitcoin last year..."
My thoughts drift to crypto.
"Let's think... Bitcoin was a few hundred thou back then, say 500k. If I'd bought two...? Nah, too few.
Ten million! Say I dropped 10 mil on twenty coins. Recently hit 2k or so, right?
Easy math at 2k: 20 times 2k is 40 mil... No, wait, if I swapped to Ripple at 300 won, then it hits 3k—that's 400 mil! Kyaa, 400 mil!"
My delusion peaks with me, rich as hell from luck, world-touring with today's kitty find.
"Ah... 400 mil's overkill. 40 mil would be sweet."
As the fantasy fades, so does my shower. I grumble while toweling off, but today's end feels a tad less bleak. Why?
"'Cause a kitty's waiting in my room! What to name her? She goes 'mreeow,' so Mreeow? Kitty~!"
Still damp in spots, but that pitiful gaze from before the shower flashes in my mind—I couldn't dry properly.
I throw on boxer briefs in a rush, towel my hair roughly, and bolt to my room.
Bright light spills from my door as it nears. I call out louder to the kitty.
Peeking around the corner into the room.
"Kitty~! Bro's hooome! Gonna make more fo—... Wha... Wh-who are you?"
The room looks exactly as I left it before washing.
But the cute kitty's gone, replaced by a pure, sexy beauty sprawled naked on my bed!
'Oh... Oh man, that ass... Insane. Boobs too, holy—'
She lifts her head from her prone position and looks at me.
That innocent face doesn't match her voluptuous curves at all.
The very face that made the interviewer from earlier look like calamari in comparison!
'My type. Love you. Thank you.'
A woman's naked body outside a screen—for the first time since tagging along to the baths as a kid!
And stacked!
The pink bathhouse memory? Not even mosaic remnants in my head.
'If I could go back, I'd burn it into my brain with eyes wide open!'
So I vowed, but 30 years as a virgin weren't for nothing.
Suddenly faced with bare skin, I slap my hands over my eyes!
'Aargh! Damn it! Why cover up, idiot! That's why you're a virgin, moron! Fuuuck!'
I curse myself from seconds ago, but now it's too awkward to uncover.
'No, if I don't peek now, when will I ever?'
I can't stop my fingers from slowly parting.
She cautiously rises from her prone pose.
Through the gap, her jiggling breasts and hint of bush flicker by.
'Ah, what do I do? Getting hard.'
Impulse wins—I spread my fingers wide, but she's already yanked the blanket, barely covering herself.
'Ugh! Stupid! Why'd you cover your eyes!'
Maybe embarrassed by my staring, her cheeks flush as she hesitantly speaks.
"P-please save me."
"Huh?"
"Save me, bro! You said you'd take care of me earlier."
'Wha— Bro?!'
Heart shot with Cupid's arrow... Wait, what the hell is this?
Anyway, hearing "bro" from a naked bombshell makes my heart pound.
But...
'This is too weird!'
Even drunk as I am, I know this ain't normal.
Come back from shower, pity-picked kitty's now a naked sex... Did I say sex? Sexy. Sexy dynamite.
And she calls me bro, begs to be saved?
"Wh-what the...? A dream?"
I drop my hands from my eyes and slap my cheeks.
Not to sneak peeks or anything.
Smack, smack.
"Ow! That really hurts!"
Not a dream? Maybe not. My hyper-realistic imagination could be fooling my senses...
'Test with a phone number. Dreams mess those up.'
I rattle off my number in one go.
"010-XXXX-XXXX! Huh, clear as day? Okay, one more..."
I throw punches into the air: jab jab, cross cross.
"Jab jab... Cross, cross. Shit, fast punches... Not a dream then."
After flailing, I sneak a glance at her.
Cheeks red from shame, she's wide-eyed at my antics.
Our eyes meet, she smiles shyly—crescent eyes, dimples, and those queenly tits peeking over the blanket!
"G-goddess..."
"Huh?"
"N-nothing!"
If not a dream, what the hell is she?!
'Wait... Could it be?'
Yeah, seen this in old comics.
Girl sneaks into lone guy's home, seduces him.
He falls for it, gets dazed, finally pins her—bam, hidden camera!
'H-hidden cam blackmailer?'
Whirl—!
I spin, scan the room—no camera.
'Wouldn't spot it anyway!'
As I look around, her jade-like voice rings in my ear again.
"B-bro, we don't have time for this. Please listen."
'Ah... Keeps spinning... Dizzier.'
The booze isn't fading; my head's fogging more.
"Uh... Okay, talk."
She takes a deep breath, like gathering her words.
Jiggle.
Gulp. Then she speaks.
"I'm being chased. By the Demon King!"