You know that moment when you realize you've fucked up? Like, REALLY fucked up?
Yeah. I was having that moment right now.
"Chen Feng, you perverted dog! You dare defile the sanctity of the Jade Lotus Bathing Springs?!"
The voice belonged to Elder Crimson, a woman whose face looked like she'd been sucking on lemons for the past three centuries. Which, given that cultivators in this world could live for thousands of years, was entirely possible.
I knelt on cold stone, hands bound behind my back with some kind of glowing rope that burned like a bitch every time I tried to move. Around me, what looked like half the Azure Peak Sect had gathered in the Judgment Plaza—thousands of disciples in flowing robes of blue and white, all staring at me with expressions ranging from disgust to barely concealed amusement.
The worst part? The absolute WORST part?
I didn't even do it.
Well, technically Chen Feng did it. The original Chen Feng. The perverted idiot whose body I'd woken up in about thirty minutes ago.
Let me back up.
My name—my REAL name—is Alex Chen. Twenty-five years old, software developer, chronic web novel addict, and as of approximately two hours ago by my best guess… dead.
I died doing something heroic for once in my mediocre life. Saw a kid about to get pancaked by a delivery truck, shoved him out of the way, got hit instead. Very cliché. Very isekai. I actually had time to think "Oh come on, really? The TRUCK?" before everything went black.
I expected oblivion. Maybe heaven or hell if those were real. Reincarnation as a bug or something karmic like that.
What I did NOT expect was to wake up face-down in bushes, completely naked, with the sound of women screaming bloody murder about fifty feet away.
And then the memories hit me.
Not my memories. HIS memories. Chen Feng's memories.
Chen Feng, outer disciple of the Azure Peak Sect. Eighteen years old. Cultivation level: Qi Gathering, 3rd stage. Which apparently was trash-tier for someone his age in this sect. The kid had the spiritual roots of a potato and the work ethic of a stoned sloth.
Oh, and he was a MASSIVE pervert.
Like, legendarily bad. The kind of guy who'd "accidentally" walk into the women's changing areas. Who'd volunteer for laundry duty just to sniff the female disciples' robes. Who'd spent actual contribution points—the sect's currency—on a suspicious jade slip that claimed to have "secret viewing techniques."
And tonight? Tonight, genius Chen Feng had decided to sneak into the Jade Lotus Bathing Springs—the MOST sacred bathing area reserved for inner disciples and elders—to peek at the women bathing.
He made it about fifteen seconds before getting caught.
By Fairy Yue.
Fairy Yue Lingshuang, to be exact. The sect's number one beauty. Ice-affinity cultivator. Core Formation realm, which apparently meant she could literally freeze someone's balls off with a thought. Twenty-two years old but already being called the next Sect Master.
Also, according to Chen Feng's hormone-addled memories, she looked like a literal goddess carved from moonlight and winter itself.
She'd been bathing when Chen Feng's dumbass decided to peek through the spiritual barrier. She sensed him immediately, obviously, because he had the stealth skills of a drunk elephant.
The last thing Chen Feng remembered was her eyes—silver-white and absolutely murderous—locking onto him through the steam.
Then ice. So much ice.
And then… nothing.
Because that's when I woke up in his body, naked and half-frozen in the bushes where she'd apparently thrown him like garbage.
Great. Just fucking great.
I'd barely had time to process that I'd been isekai'd into a cultivation world—a REAL cultivation world like the ones I'd read about in hundreds of web novels—before sect guards grabbed me and dragged me to this plaza for judgment.
Which brought me to now.
Kneeling on stone. Hands bound. Thousands of people watching. And Elder Crimson looking like she wanted to personally castrate me with a rusty spiritual sword.
"The punishment for such vile behavior is clear," Elder Crimson announced, her voice amplified by some kind of cultivation technique that made it boom across the entire plaza. "Cripple his cultivation, expel him from the sect, and cast him into the Mortal Wastes to live out his miserable days as the worm he is!"
Oh shit.
Oh SHIT.
Cripple my cultivation? I didn't even KNOW how to cultivate yet! I'd literally been in this body for less than an hour!
"Wait!" I shouted, my voice cracking embarrassingly. "I can explain—"
"Silence!" Elder Crimson's hand rose, and I felt something—like invisible pressure—slam into my chest and shut my mouth forcibly. Qi manipulation. Had to be. "You have disgraced this sect for the last time, Chen Feng. You have harassed female disciples, stolen from the contribution hall, and now you dare to violate the sanctity of—"
[SYSTEM INITIALIZATION COMPLETE]
The glowing blue text appeared directly in my vision, transparent but impossible to ignore.
I nearly screamed.
[Welcome, Host, to the Heavenly Harem System!]
[Detecting current situation…]
[Analysis: Host is absolutely fucked]
[Emergency Mission Generated!]
A larger window materialized, expanding across my entire field of view:
[EMERGENCY MISSION: SURVIVE YOUR EXECUTION]
Objective: Convince the sect to spare you and gain the interest of at least one jade beauty
Time Limit: 5 minutes
Rewards:
∙ Heavenly Rizz Ability: Silver Tongue of the Casanova (Passive)
∙ Basic Cultivation Technique: Primordial Yang Scripture
∙ 1000 Harem Points
Failure Penalty: Death (for real this time), Eternal Virginity in the Afterlife
Note: Good luck, you perverted fuck! - SystemI stared at the floating text.
Then I looked at Elder Crimson, whose hand was now glowing with some kind of destructive energy.
Then back at the system window.
You have GOT to be kidding me.
"Elder Crimson," a new voice called out, smooth and cold as winter itself. "A moment, if you would."
The entire plaza went silent.
I turned my head—difficult with the binding rope—and my breath caught.
Walking through the crowd like Moses parting the Red Sea was the most beautiful woman I had ever seen in both of my lives.
Fairy Yue Lingshuang.
Long silver-white hair that flowed behind her like liquid moonlight. Pale, flawless skin that seemed to glow faintly. Eyes like chips of ice, beautiful and terrifying. She wore white and blue robes that hugged curves that could make a man stupid, with a sword strapped to her waist that probably had a body count in the thousands.
Every male disciple in the plaza was staring. Every female disciple looked jealous or awed or both.
And she was walking straight toward me.
Oh fuck. Oh fuck oh fuck oh fuck.
Chen Feng's memories supplied helpfully: That's the woman you peeped on, dumbass.
"Fairy Yue," Elder Crimson said, actually sounding respectful for once. "This matter does not require your attention. This… worm… has already been judged."
"Nevertheless," Yue Lingshuang stopped about ten feet from me, her cold eyes boring into mine. "I was the one violated. Should I not have some say in his punishment?"
My heart was hammering. Up close, she was even more terrifying. I could feel the cold radiating off her—actual, physical cold. The air around her shimmered with frost.
But there was something else in her eyes. Not just anger.
Curiosity?
[SYSTEM ALERT: Jade Beauty Detected!]
[Yue Lingshuang - Ice Phoenix Fairy]
[Cultivation: Core Formation, 7th Stage]
[Affection Level: -20 (Disgusted)]
[Danger Level: EXTREMELY HIGH - Can kill you with a sneeze]
[Note: She's way out of your league, but that's never stopped a protagonist before! Try not to die!]
Thanks for the confidence, System.
Yue Lingshuang tilted her head slightly. "Chen Feng. Look at me."
I looked. Hard not to.
"You've been a nuisance since you joined this sect three years ago," she said, her voice carrying easily despite being quiet. "Constantly causing trouble. Harassing female disciples. Failing every test. And now this."
I opened my mouth. Elder Crimson's pressure had released when Yue Lingshuang interrupted.
"I—" I started.
"However," Yue Lingshuang continued, and something flashed in her eyes. "Something is different about you now."
Shit. Could she tell? Could she sense that I wasn't the original Chen Feng?
Cultivators had all kinds of bullshit powers in the novels I'd read. Soul-sensing. Aura-reading. Karma-detection. What if she—
"Your eyes," she said simply. "They're different. Less… clouded."
I blinked.
"Chen Feng was always looking at women like a starving dog looks at meat," Yue Lingshuang said, and several people in the crowd laughed. "But you… you look confused. Afraid. Desperate."
Well, she's not wrong.
[SYSTEM HINT: She's intrigued! Say something interesting! You have one shot at this!]
[Time Remaining: 3 minutes, 47 seconds]
My mind raced. What could I possibly say that would—
Wait.
In every cultivation novel, what did protagonists do when they got in trouble?
They showed value. They proved they were worth keeping alive.
I took a breath. "Fairy Yue is correct," I said, and my voice came out steadier than I felt. "I… I am different."
Elder Crimson scoffed. "More lies—"
"This morning," I interrupted, looking directly at Yue Lingshuang, "I had a… revelation. A spiritual awakening."
[SYSTEM NOTE: Ooh, nice! Keep going!]
"While I was unconscious after Fairy Yue's righteous punishment"—might as well play up the 'she was totally justified' angle—"I experienced something. A vision. The heavens themselves showed me the error of my ways."
I could see people leaning in now. Cultivators LOVED shit like heavenly visions and spiritual awakenings.
"I saw my entire miserable life," I continued, putting genuine emotion into my voice because fuck it, I was genuinely terrified. "Three years of wasted potential. Three years of disrespecting this sect and its disciples. Three years of being exactly the kind of trash that deserves to be thrown out."
Yue Lingshuang's expression didn't change, but she hadn't told me to shut up yet.
"And then the vision showed me something else. My future. Two paths."
I paused for effect. Nobody interrupted.
"One path: I continue as I am. I get expelled. I die in the Mortal Wastes, forgotten and pathetic, having accomplished nothing."
"Sounds about right," someone in the crowd muttered.
"The other path," I said, looking around at the thousands of watching disciples before returning my gaze to Yue Lingshuang, "I change. Completely. I dedicate myself to TRUE cultivation. I stop being a disgrace and become someone worthy of the Azure Peak Sect's teachings."
[SYSTEM NOTE: Getting warmer! But you need a hook! Something that makes her want to keep you around!]
Right. The hook.
"Fairy Yue," I said, putting everything I had into this. "You are absolutely right to want me punished. What I—what Chen Feng did was unforgivable. But…"
I let the word hang.
"But?" Yue Lingshuang prompted, one elegant eyebrow raising slightly.
"Killing a dog for being a dog accomplishes nothing," I said. "But if that dog could become a dragon… wouldn't that be more interesting?"
Her eyes narrowed.
Shit, too much?
"You claim you'll change," Elder Crimson said skeptically. "Every criminal claims they'll reform."
"Then test me," I shot back. "Give me one month. Thirty days. If I haven't shown genuine improvement—real cultivation progress, actual contribution to the sect, proof that I've changed—then expel me. Cripple me. I'll accept it."
[Time Remaining: 1 minute, 12 seconds]
[SYSTEM WARNING: Not enough! She's still at -20 Affection! You need to tip the scales!]
What else? What else could I possibly—
And then it hit me.
The novels. The cultivation novels I'd read. What ALWAYS worked?
Confidence. Absurd, borderline-suicidal confidence.
"In fact," I said, and I saw Yue Lingshuang's eyes widen slightly as I smiled—actually SMILED—despite being bound and kneeling and about to die. "I'll make you a wager, Fairy Yue."
"A wager?" she repeated, sounding almost amused.
"Thirty days from now," I said, locking eyes with the most dangerous woman in this sect, "I'll challenge you to a duel."
The plaza erupted in laughter and shouts.
"HE'S INSANE!"
"QI GATHERING CHALLENGING CORE FORMATION?"
"THE PERVERT'S FINALLY LOST HIS MIND!"
Elder Crimson looked like she was about to have an aneurysm. "You DARE—"
But Yue Lingshuang held up a hand, and everyone went quiet.
She was staring at me with those ice-chip eyes, but now there was something else there.
Genuine interest.
"A duel," she said slowly. "You. Qi Gathering, 3rd stage. Versus me. Core Formation, 7th stage."
"Yes."
"That's suicide."
"Probably," I agreed. "But here's the wager: If I land even a single hit on you—just one—then you'll acknowledge that I've changed. That I'm not the same trash I was before."
"And when you fail?" Yue Lingshuang asked.
"When I fail," I said, "you can personally cripple my cultivation and throw me out yourself. No trial. No appeals. Your decision is final."
[Time Remaining: 15 seconds]
[SYSTEM ALERT: AFFECTION CHANGE DETECTED!]
[Yue Lingshuang - Affection Level: -20 → 0 (Neutral/Curious)]
[She's intrigued by your massive balls! Keep going!]
Yue Lingshuang studied me for a long moment.
Then, impossibly, she smiled.
It was a small smile. Cold. Like the first crack in winter ice.
But it was a smile.
"Interesting," she said. "You've never spoken more than crude pickup lines to me before. And now you challenge me to a duel you cannot win, with nothing to gain except proving you've changed."
She turned to Elder Crimson.
"I request that Chen Feng's punishment be delayed," Yue Lingshuang said formally. "Thirty days. Under my supervision."
Elder Crimson looked like she'd swallowed a bug. "Fairy Yue, this is highly irregular—"
"If he shows no improvement, I will handle his punishment personally," Yue Lingshuang continued, her voice carrying absolute authority. "But if there's even a chance that a disciple of our sect has had a genuine spiritual awakening… shouldn't we nurture that?"
Holy shit. It's working.
Elder Crimson clearly wanted to argue, but Yue Lingshuang was technically higher ranked despite being younger. And everyone knew she was being groomed as the next Sect Master.
"…Fine," Elder Crimson said through gritted teeth. "Thirty days. But he'll be under constant supervision. One step out of line—"
"Understood," Yue Lingshuang said.
She looked down at me.
"Can you stand, Chen Feng?"
The binding ropes vanished in a flash of frost.
I stood shakily, my legs numb from kneeling. I was still naked from the waist up—apparently nobody had bothered to give Chen Feng a shirt before dragging him to execution.
"Thank you, Fairy Yue," I said, bowing deeply. "I won't waste this chance."
"See that you don't," she said coolly.
Then she leaned in slightly, close enough that I could smell something like winter jasmine, and whispered so only I could hear:
"I don't know what happened to you, Chen Feng. But you're right. Your eyes are different. So I'll give you this chance."
She pulled back.
"Don't make me regret it."
And with that, she turned and walked away, the crowd parting for her again.
[EMERGENCY MISSION COMPLETE!]
[Calculating Rewards…]
[CONGRATULATIONS!]
[Rewards Granted:]
∙ Heavenly Rizz Ability: Silver Tongue of the Casanova (Passive) - ACTIVATED
∙ Basic Cultivation Technique: Primordial Yang Scripture - DOWNLOADED TO SOUL
∙ 1000 Harem Points - ADDED TO ACCOUNT
[Achievement Unlocked: "Somehow, That Worked" - Survive certain death through pure audacity]
[Bonus Reward: Yue Lingshuang's Interest - She'll be watching you now. CLOSELY.]
[SYSTEM MESSAGE: Not bad for a virgin! Now comes the hard part - actually getting stronger without dying. Good luck! You're gonna need it! ♡]
I stood there in the plaza as people dispersed, still processing what the hell just happened.
I'd been in this world for less than two hours.
I'd already nearly died.
I'd somehow convinced the Ice Phoenix Fairy to spare me.
And I had a system. A HAREM system.
With a mission to challenge someone who could literally kill me by blinking too hard.
In thirty days.
What the fuck have I gotten myself**[AUTHOR'S NOTE: And so begins Alex's journey! Next chapter: He actually has to figure out how to cultivate, deal with the system's "helpful" missions, and oh yeah, everyone in the sect now thinks he's either insane or secretly a genius. Probably both.
Thanks for reading! Comments and reviews fuel my writing! - Author]**