Allison knew it was a bad idea before she even left her house.
That feeling sat low in her stomach, heavy and warm, like when you're about to do something you've already decided you're not going to regret even if you probably should.
Zayn had texted her an hour earlier.
"You still up?"
She had been lying in bed, staring at the ceiling, phone resting on her chest.
Yeah.
Three dots.
Gone.
Back again.
"I went for a walk. I'm near the park by your street."
Her heart had started racing immediately.
" Okay…"
She didn't ask why he told her.
She didn't ask what he expected.
Because she already knew.
"You don't have to come," he added a minute later.
"I just… didn't want to be alone with my head tonight."
That did it.
Ten minutes later she was pulling on a hoodie and sneaking out the front door as quietly as possible.
The night air was cold enough to wake her up properly.
Streetlights flickered softly along the sidewalk, and everything felt too quiet. Like the world was holding its breath.
She spotted him near the park entrance, hands in his hoodie pockets, shoulders slightly hunched like he was trying to make himself smaller.
He looked up when he heard her footsteps.
For a second, neither of them spoke.
Then
"Hi," she said.
"Hey."
His voice was softer at night. Less guarded.
"You okay?" she asked.
He shrugged. "Didn't feel like staying inside."
She nodded like she understood, even though she didn't fully. She just knew the feeling of needing to escape your own thoughts.
They started walking side by side along the path.
Not touching.
But close enough that their sleeves brushed sometimes.
Every tiny contact felt louder than it should've.
"I didn't think you'd actually come," he admitted after a while.
"I didn't think you'd text me," she shot back.
He smiled a little at that. It was small, but real. She noticed because Zayn didn't smile often.
They walked in silence for a bit, the sound of their shoes against the pavement filling the space between them.
Then he said, "I almost didn't."
"Why?"
He exhaled slowly. "Because being around you makes everything harder."
Her heart thudded.
"In a bad way again?" she asked, trying to sound light.
He shook his head. "In a way where I forget to be careful."
There was that word again.
Careful.
She stopped walking.
"So what are we being careful for?" she asked quietly.
He turned to face her, streetlight casting soft shadows across his face.
"I don't know yet," he admitted. "I just feel like there's something we don't know. Something that's gonna make this complicated."
Allison's chest tightened.
"Life is already complicated," she said. "Since when did that stop anyone?"
He let out a quiet laugh through his nose. "You always talk like that?"
"Like what?"
"Like you're not scared of anything."
She looked away.
"I am," she said. "I'm just more scared of missing things."
That made him look at her differently.
Softer.
Like she'd just handed him something fragile.
They reached the swings and sat down, the chains creaking softly as they moved.
It felt weirdly normal. Like they'd done this a hundred times before.
"I kept imagining what you'd be like in person," he admitted.
"Oh yeah?" she asked. "Disappointed?"
He looked at her, really looked at her.
"No," he said quietly. "That's the problem."
Her stomach flipped.
She looked down at her hands. "You're different too."
"How?"
"Less… mysterious," she said. "More real."
"Is that worse?"
She shook her head. "It's scarier."
Silence settled between them again, but it wasn't awkward. It was heavy. It was full.
He stood up first.
She thought he was going to leave.
Instead, he stepped closer.
Close enough that she had to tilt her head slightly to look at him.
Close enough that the air between them felt charged.
"Ally," he said softly.
It was the first time he'd said her name out loud.
Her heart melted and panicked at the same time.
"Yeah?"
"I think if I don't do this now, I'm gonna think about it forever."
Her breath caught.
"Do what?" she whispered, even though she already knew.
His hand came up slowly, like he was giving her time to stop him.
She didn't.
His fingers brushed a strand of hair away from her face.
Her pulse went wild.
This was the line.
The one they'd been circling for days.
The one they both pretended not to see.
"If this messes everything up…" he started.
"It already has," she whispered.
That was all it took.
He kissed her.
Soft at first. Hesitant. Like he was asking a question.
Then she kissed him back.
And that was the answer.
The world didn't explode.The sky didn't fall.
But something shifted. Something permanent.
Because in that moment, Allison knew one thing with terrifying clarity:
Whatever this turned out to be…
There was no going back.