Allison became very aware of space.
The space between desks.The space between hands.The space between almost and actually.
Zayn sat one row over and slightly behind her in English, which meant she could feel him without looking. And that was worse than if he sat right next to her.
Every time he shifted in his chair, she noticed.Every time he laughed quietly at something the teacher said, her stomach flipped.
She told herself to calm down.
It didn't work.
Emma was talking a lot at lunch.
About London. About her mom. About how weird it was being back.
Allison tried to listen. She really did.
But Zayn was sitting across the cafeteria with a group of guys from the soccer team, and every ,now and then, she felt it, that pull she didn't know how to explain to anyone, even Emma, so she just sat with it.
Like someone gently tugging a string tied around her ribs.
"Mum burned the toast and blamed the toaster," Emma was saying, laughing.
Allison laughed too, half a second late.
Emma tilted her head. "You okay?"
"Yeah," Allison said quickly. "Just tired."
That wasn't a lie. She was tired.
Tired of pretending her heart wasn't racing every time Zayn looked up.
Because he did.
Look up.
And every time their eyes met, neither of them smiled.
They just… held it really tight like their lives depended on it.
Like they were both thinking the same thing and were too scared to say it first.
Nighttime arrived. "Today was weird", Allison texted.
She stared at the screen, waiting.
Yeah, Zayn replied.
That was it.
Just yeah.
She frowned.
We barely talked.
Three dots.
I didn't trust myself to.
Her breath caught.
Why?
A pause.
Longer than usual.
Because when you're in the same room, he wrote,
It's not the same as texting.
Her heart thudded.
In a bad way?
She hated how small that sounded.
The reply came fast this time.
In a way that makes it hard to breathe.
She sat up in bed.
Her room suddenly felt too warm.
You're dramatic, she typed, trying to play it off.
I'm serious, he replied.
She didn't know what to say to that.
So she sent the truth.
I feel it too.
The typing bubble appeared instantly.
Stopped.
Then appeared again.
That's the problem, he wrote.
The next day in the hallway, it almost happened.
They reached the corner at the same time.
Almost collided.
She stepped right. He stepped left. Then they both stopped, awkward and too close.
"Sorry," she said, breathless for no good reason.
"It's fine," he said quietly.
But neither of them moved.
People brushed past them, annoyed. Someone muttered, "Move."
Still, they just stood there.
Close enough that she could see the tiny scar near his eyebrow. Close enough to notice he smelled like clean laundry and something colder, like outside air.
"Hi," she said, softer this time.
"Hi," he replied.
There was so much they weren't saying.
You're real.I know you.I shouldn't want to touch you this much.
His hand twitched at his side like he was fighting the urge to reach for hers.
Allison's heart pounded so loudly she was sure he could hear it.
Then someone bumped into her shoulder, breaking the moment.
She stepped back.
"So… see you in class," she said.
"Yeah," he replied, but he didn't look away until she did.
That afternoon, Emma plopped down beside Allison on the grass outside school.
"You and Zayn have English together, right?"
Allison's stomach dropped.
"Yeah."
Emma smiled. "He's so quiet, right? He's always like that."
Allison forced a small laugh. "Yeah. Quiet."
If Emma noticed the way Allison's fingers were digging into the grass, she didn't say anything.
"He's had a rough few years," Emma added. "Family stuff."
Allison's chest tightened.
She thought about the message.
Because if I use it, things get complicated.
She swallowed.
"Yeah," she said softly. "I get that."
That night, Zayn sent a message first.
"We need to be careful."
Her heart sank a little.
"Careful of what?"
The reply took longer than usual.
"I don't know yet", he wrote.
"But something about this feels like it could ruin things."
Allison stared at those words for a long time.
Then she typed the only honest answer she had.
"I think it might be too late for caution."
The three dots appeared.
And stayed.