I don't know whether what I'm doing is right or not, but I can say that I truly saw it.
My eyes moved quickly from one page to the next. Each page was filled with a few words illuminated by the light from the window beside me. Every word was written in the language of my old world—Japanese. I continued to turn page after page, word by word arranged into sentences that led to the same thing—longing for Mother.
I paused for a moment in the middle of reading the book.
One of my eyebrows rose. Why are there writings like this? And the mother being referred to, is it My Lady's mother? Who exactly is My Lady's mother? I've never read any explanation about My Lady's mother in the novel I read before.
I stared at the book in my hand. But most importantly, is this really safe?! I'm reading some kind of diary that belongs to my own boss!
I let out a long sigh. "Since I've already started, I might as well try to continue a little more," I muttered.
My hand returned to the rough cover of the book. I kept turning the pages until I reached the last page I had read. I continued reading before moving on to the final page. My eyes moved from the top of the page to the bottom. Before I knew it, there was only one page left to turn, before maybe I would get my answer. In the middle of turning the page, a rapid knocking, three times in total, was heard from outside the door.
My gaze immediately turned. I immediately closed the book I was opening, before turning it back to the original position I found this book—under the white sheets.
"Yes. I'm coming, Sir!"
I moved from the position near the bedside lamp, towards the door not far from there. My steps quickened a little, and soon I stood before the two brown doors.
I cleared my throat softly, before pulling both handles of the two door leaves. From the crack of the door, slowly the figure of the person outside the door began to appear—the Head Butler. There, I saw him put both hands behind his back, as usual. His flat gaze was typical of him when our gazes met.
This time, I could only smile at him—covering up what I had just done in My Lady's room.
"Ahaha... Sir."
He looked at me with one eyebrow raised. "...Didn't you escort the Young Mistress to the dining room?"
My eyes widened when he asked like that. My gaze fell for a moment, while stroking the back of my neck. "Ah... that, yes. My Lady said she could do it herself, Sir."
Seeing me express myself like that, he couldn't help but soften his flat gaze.
'...Hang in there, okay."
After he said that, I immediately changed my gaze to him. Seeing him, he began to clear his throat once, before his mouth was locked again.
Was he just concerned about me just now?
For a moment we stared at each other, before finally my attitude returned to normal. I stared at him a little longer, the memory of My Lady calling the person in front of me "Uncle"—making me even more curious.
I don't know if this question is polite or not, but...
I cleared my throat once. "...Sir. May I ask something?"
He nodded. "Yes. What do you want to say?"
"...Regarding your age, Sir... how old are you actually?"
His eyes widened.
"Because My Lady once called you Uncle, so—"
"...Forty years old. My age is forty years old."
My eyes widened. "Eh? Seriously, that's your age, sir? I'm sorry but from your appearance..."
He let out a long sigh, before he nodded his head "...Yes. That really is my age. It's because of a rare genetic factor that makes me like this."
I paused for a moment after hearing that. My gaze fell to the side, while clasping my fingers under my chin. ...Well, I didn't expect it to be like that.
The memory of Big Brother Fukuro being hit at that time, suddenly flashed back into my mind.
...If I'm not mistaken, Big Brother Fukuro called him 'Old Man', right?
My eyes narrowed. Is that just some kind of sarcasm towards the Head Butler? What kind of relationship do they have that they can joke like that?
I looked at the Head Butler for a moment, he seemed confused by what I was doing.
...Should I just ask, huh?
My gaze fell down.
It seems like there's no need. It's not too important for now.
I looked at him again. A stiff smile formed just like that. "Well, hahaha... I didn't expect you to be only forty years old..."
Damn. I don't know what else to say.
The Head Butler only stared from there. My stiff smile slowly became more and more broken. He was silent for a few minutes, his fingers began to clasp under his chin. He seemed to be thinking about something, from his eyes it was clear who he was thinking about. The atmosphere felt silent for a moment, before he finally opened the conversation.
"...Hey, Touji."
I glanced at him.
"Do you want to come with me to shop for monthly groceries? Because the food stock for this month is out, so we have to buy it again."
My eyes widened. "...Eh?"
What does the Head Butler mean by that?
"...Are we going to shop at the bazaar, Sir?"
He tilted his head, confused by my strange question. "Why are you asking like that? If not at the bazaar, then where else do you think?"
The corner of my lips showed a thin smile. Nice! That means I have a chance to buy—
He narrowed his eyes. "We will not shop for anything other than food ingredients. Only food ingredients, then go home," he cut me off.
Hearing what he said, made my smile immediately crack. My gaze immediately fell down. My hand clenched tightly for a moment, before relaxing again.
...Turns out it's just grocery shopping, huh.
Seeing me like that, he could only let out a long sigh. His gaze stared straight at me, a little longer before the next sentence came.
"...So, do you want to come or not?"
I immediately glanced at him. Feelings of desire and confusion crept into my chest simultaneously.
Should I go or not? If I go, what else am I going to do besides accompany the Head Butler to shop?
My eyes narrowed, I bit the corner of my lips, before a sigh greeted me afterwards. ...Alright, I've made up my mind.
I looked at the Head Butler again, slightly raised—adjusting to his height.
"...I will come, Sir."
He let out a short sigh. "Good then. If that's the case, let's go."
He immediately moved after saying that sentence. I followed him a few moments later. Our steps echoed through the spacious corridor, I looked at him a few times who was beside me.
"..."
We continued walking, passing through the spacious corridor, down the stairs, until we were at the main door which was closed. Because it was still morning, it was only natural that the door in front had not been opened.
I looked at the Head Butler beside me. It seems like he is also the one who is in charge of opening the main door every morning.
He seemed silent for a moment looking at the two brown door leaves, before finally both his hands touched each of the cold handles. He exhaled quickly, and immediately he pushed the door in front of him. Veins appeared on the back of his hand. The hardened muscles of his back and arms were displayed in his pressed black suit.
Little by little the light behind the big door began to enter the room. The Head Butler seemed to be trying a little, pushing it, until the light from outside the room entered so quickly into it.
I reflexively raised my hand, blocking the light that came so quickly—until when I got used to it, I lowered it.
My eyes widened when I saw outside. Behind the big door that had blocked it earlier, now standing wide open, a different kind of beauty awaited. In the morning, the gardens that I usually saw when I first came, I didn't expect the beauty to be this extraordinary. Butterflies colored like rainbows circled the colored flowers. The sound of birds chirping in my right corner, on top of the trees. From their beautiful sounds that came out, it seemed even more interesting when they rubbed their heads against their partners.
I looked up. The blue sky greeted me along with a cool breeze. I closed my eyes, letting that feeling seep into my chest.
I didn't know this world could be so beautiful. I, who used to be locked in a room, could only feel it through the words written by the author of the story. I thought I would never be able to feel something like this, but fate seemed to say that I would receive it at the right time.
I let out a long sigh. Is this the pleasure of waiting?
I shouldn't have doubted fate from the beginning. I should have trusted the fate that awaited me.
My gaze returned to look forward.
There is no room for regret. What exists is only the will to learn from mistakes.
I didn't expect the Head Butler to be so far ahead of me. He turned toward me, waiting with his usual flat expression. I could only smile at him before quickening my pace—until I was walking beside him now.
I stared at the black gate that was already open in front of me. Two familiar soldiers were seen again there, guarding the gate there. A horse-drawn carriage, the same as the one in my memory before—one that only a nobleman would own—was already waiting in front. The door was open, a coachman greeted while holding the small door.
I smiled slightly. I can't wait, what kind of fate awaits me in front.