My lower body feels numb and heavy. The more he talks about Damien the more the tightness in my chest intensifies.
"Are you listening?"
"Water..." I mutter as everything starts to spin. "Medicines..." The word's a weak murmur on my lips.
"What medicines?" His question echoes like a drum in my head. My limbs won't move.
"Hey...what's wrong?!" He begins pulling my hands. I realise he's trying to get me up.
"Hoi! Saint... Saint..."
I hear him call my name few times before everything starts to blacken.
There was a man standing tensely facing a dark tunnel. Only his back was visible. He's talking to someone.
"I don't want that to happen." He talked in a hushed voice.
The other person nodded subtly at his statement. "I will do as you say."
"Then make him disappear from his life." There was a coarse dissatisfaction the way he said that.
"But what about..."
As the other man tried to put a 'but' in his words he grabbed him viciously by the throat. "How dare you question my actions?!"
"But Sir..." The man coughed. "He's your son..."
Ugh! Suddenly the shortness of breath returns.
"Damien!" I wail out loudly.
I feel two pair of slim veiny fair arms grabbing me by my sides. One hand goes behind my upper back rubbing the place slowly.
"Saint... You're awake. Thank God!"
I see Mika holding me—a sigh of relief escapes his throat. "Even now he's talking about Boss, look at him Zeb."
Chris sits on the bedside chair. Only now I realise I was having a bad dream. I don't like this type of dreams at all I'm afraid of them coming true.
"Where's Damien? Where's Damien?" I panic again.
"Come down Saint. Did you forget that he's in NV for his sisters engagement. Good thing is he's on his way to come home," Chris speaks reassuringly.
"I informed him about this little mishap and I swear by god Saint, he was worried. It was as if a wild beast was trying to get out of his cage and return to his family," Chris adds.
"He's too much of a baby right now," Zeb comments.
Slowly everything comes back to me. My surroundings are of a hospital room, I am on the bed with four people who cares about me, around me.
I fainted.
"Seriously brother Saint," Mika shakes his head in worry. "Again?" He asks. "You promised him, didn't you?"
Todd grimaces crossing his arms. "He won't behave. That's why Boss gets mad."
I ask for water. Mika hands me the glass.
"Should I bring your pills now to swallow with that water?" Todd remarks in a dry sarcasm.
"Shut up guys!" Mika scolds them. "Brother Saint just recovered. Let him be."
"Do you know how much he had us worried?!" Now Zeb joins Todd's tone of rebuke. "Damien would've killed us if something serious happened to him!"
I put the glass down after I finish drinking. "I shouldn't have told you my exact age. You don't get to call me brother... I'm just ten months older than you. Not even a whole year." I smile at him feeling awkward.
Ever since he came to know it he'd call me that often.
"I liked calling you that."
"But we're all friends here Mika."
"Fine. Only if you promise to not take those antidepressants anymore," he states his condition.
"Last time it was insomnia pills and now they are antidepressants. Do you want to kill yourself, tell us clearly now?" Chris lectures me too.
"Are you saying... Is he..." Zeb asks Mika. "Depressed?"
"Don't tell me you started taking these when..." Chris's eyes fixated at me.
I sign him to be quiet as I check my phone.
"So Boss doesn't know. Hm..." Todd smirks taking out his phone.
"Don't tell him Todd! Please..." I appeal bringing my palms close together near my head.
But that's when his phone rings—as if the world can hear our desires and sense our fears.
"What a timing! Damien's calling."
"Hey Todd..." Damien's voice all rushed. "Are you with Saint now? Has he woke up? How is he?"
Anxiety infused questions bombard us. The call's on speaker.
Zeb sneers at Todd then answers, "Yeah... He has opened his eyes. You won't believe what happened. Anyway... We were just talking about you."
"What happened?" Damien asks.
Suddenly his voice becomes less panicky and harsh when he utters my name. "Saint..."
I remain silent. It's not that I don't feel like talking... but I don't know what to say. It's been over two months since I moved out of his place. Fighting in love—has anyone ever escaped that?
I clench my fists as Mika keeps holding the phone near my mouth. "Saint, say something to Damien. He's not a hard shell when it's you."
It's his turn to be suddenly quiet now. Is he embarrassed by Mika's claim?
I take the phone from him and turn off the speaker. His shallow breathing sounds causes me to shiver.
"Mm mm, feeling shy now?" Zeb and Todd teases.
"Should we leave?"
I say, "Don't."
Damien hears me and heaves a sigh. "Saint." He whispers my name again. "Do you know what I want right now?"
All three of them start whispering among themselves. "What's he saying..? He misses him so much, doesn't he?"
But I ignore those voices. "I do..." I answer. "When are you coming?" I finally let my desperation get full hold of me.
I can't... I can't wait anymore. I have missed him... It hurts... And then the fear wreathes around my tender soul in a coil of darkness. Without Damien I can't sleep... It's not even three whole months yet and I've already started taking those damned pills. What if he's gone oneday? He's tired of my cold nature... the lack of warmth in my words and my stoic expression... The one who shows a thousand emotions in one scene is often called a statue by his familiars.
"If the flight hadn't been delayed... I'd have been..."
In the blink of an eye Zeb snatches the phone from me. "You would've been what Boss?"
The others laugh as I feel my skin getting warmer. I'm going to get him at the airport. As the thought circles around my head I arouse my torpid body to grab the phone. Saint, make the thought happen.
"Hey hey what do you think you're doing?" Chris catches my arms.
"I need to get some fresh air. Tell him to not rush to me when he's back."
"Should I accompany you?" Mika's concerned voice rings out clear.
"No." I act like I don't care as I come out of the hospital room.
"So Boss, when are you arriving?" I hear Zeb asking Damien.
"In about an hour," Damien's rugged voice manages to infiltrate my mind and thoughts.
I quickly slip out in an imprudent manner.
"Hey Saint, Damien's asking for you again." Todd's yelling echoes in the hallway. "Wait where's he?"
Mika requests him to keep quiet. "Saint's just outside. He'll be back in a few minutes. Don't worry."
I feel fine. Besides I cannot let Mr. Charles know about this little happening. This is a private hospital where they brought me. Guess someone's gonna make headlines out of me again. Cause I'm not a regular human being anymore.
I wear the mask as fast as I can then come to the parking lot outside. Mika's car should be here. I'm sorry Mika... but I have to go.
I notice his peritwinkle Bentley parked not far from here. Mika has colored his hair just like his car. I never said this before but... he's one of those few people I've found to be gentle and patient with me. Sometimes I wonder how he manages to get along so well with those three. All four of them are like four different colors of Rubik's cube.
I hear some women's whispering talk as I get into his car. "He seems like that actor... See... Is that Saint Angel?"
Shit... I have to start this thing fast!
My phone starts vibrating this time. "Mika!"
I shrink in the seat inserting the key quickly. Do Not Pick Up. My subconscious yelps. Am I becoming like him? This sort of thing is expected from that troublemaker. I've never done something as crazy as this.
As the vibration ceases a message pops up on the lock screen. "You sneaked away with my car keys you crafty Angel."
I gulp driving away at full speed. "I...have to go Mika. I'm sorry. Your car will be safe and sound." I send the voice message.
His call interrupts again. I pick up recoiling in my seat.
"It's not about my car Saint!" He states aggressively. "Boss will kill us if he knows you left to meet him when you should be resting."
"Who said I left to see him?"
He sighs like an old man. "Isn't that obvious? I know you... We've known you for quiet a while now Saint."
"Then help me this time please Mika..." I plead. "If Charles Dean calls Chris to ask about my condition tell him I need another day. I'm still resting."
"Wow... You've made some progress after staying with that reckless guy," Chris's patronizing voice reaches me from Mika's side. He's heard it all.
"Stealing Mika's car keys to sneak out of the hospital after waking up from eating all those nasty pills that put you in the condition you were in until today..." He clicks his tongue repeatedly. "Your mother told me to look after you when both of us got busy in our lives... And here I am, babying her one of a kind son who's become wicked just like his lover..."
"Please... quit nagging Chris. I will apologize properly to you all. I'm driving right now. And I hate hospital beds. Understand?"
I hang up then head to my apartment. I have to dress up. So little time I have...
I change into the red black dragon printed shirt then do the buttons in swift motion.
'You look pale Saint.' The mirror as if mocking my situation stares back rudely. All those layers of flashy makeup couldn't heal my heart's sickness, even temporarily. They say when you look good you feel good too. Then why my heart feels so restless?
I clean my face then spray the pure white oud perfume Damien gifted on my last birthday. It's a very expensive and sturdy bottle. I even threw it on the floor when things got heated after that argument. It didn't break. Since when Saint Angel started losing his cool?
****
Only 15 minutes are left from that one hour. I cannot be late. Todd's calling. That's rare. If the whole world calls me today I won't be surprised.
"Todd Ezekiel calling me... Am I lucky or what hm..?" The words leave my mouth as soon as I receive the call.
"I'm following Mika's order. He's busy in a call," he replies begrudgingly. "And yes you're one lucky guy today, clueless little angel."
"So... Mika's your Boss now? Ordering you around?"
A car sweeps close by me and I slow down the speed. Phew!
"I think we'll have to take it into consideration... Since you've become our Boss's boss... lover boy."
It's my time to feel the heat of mortification.
"Okay okay I give up. Now, why did you call?" I ask realising us riling each other won't end at any point. That's Todd being Todd.
"Tell him to meet us at 6p.m. today. We have a meeting. That's it," he says. "We wanted to receive him at the airport too. But Mika suggested against it. It'd gather a lot of attention. Plus he said to give you two some 'much needed space'."
I step out of the car. The flight has landed five minutes ago. And I'm late.
Dread kindles like a kerosene lamp in my heart as the thought of Damien already in a cab heading home weighs me down.