Cherreads

“How Embarrassing Must Your Death Be to Get SSS Rank?”

Sven_Erickson
14
chs / week
The average realized release rate over the past 30 days is 14 chs / week.
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Synopsis
Lee Min lived an extraordinarily unimpressive life… and died in an even more unimpressive way. Crushed by a vending machine while trying to get a snack, he became a cosmic meme so embarrassing that even God couldn’t leave him like that. Out of pure pity (and maybe secondhand embarrassment), God reincarnates him into a fantasy world with: SSS-Rank stats A dual-layer System Ridiculously OP abilities A brand-new life And absolutely ZERO control over his infant body Now reborn as a baby with the power to level mountains but the motor skills of a wet noodle, Lee Min unintentionally terrorizes his father, delights his mother, and sends the local priest into weekly therapy. His random emotional outbursts cause shockwaves, mini earthquakes, wind blasts, and occasional teleportation. Meanwhile, the System treats every baby milestone as a quest: “Hold head up!” “Crawl!” “Speak!” “Socialize!” “Don’t panic!” (he always fails this one) Every achievement earns him tiny stat boosts… which still stack onto his already absurd SSS base power. Unfortunately, one thing followed him into this new life: A traumatizing fear of tall, box-shaped objects. Every once in a while, something remotely resembling a vending machine tips over — in moments of comedy, tension, or dramatic battles — and Lee reacts like he’s reliving his death… even though nothing can hurt him anymore. As he grows from baby to child to teen, his powers stabilize, his skills evolve, and the world begins to notice the “miracle child.” Villagers believe he’s a chosen one. Mages think he’s a reincarnated archmage. Father thinks he’s a walking apocalypse. Mother thinks he’s adorable. But Lee? He’s just trying not to accidentally flatten a building every time he sneezes. Eventually, he’ll enter the wider world — academies, dungeons, kingdoms — all while dealing with: Misinterpreted reflexes Accidental feats of strength Over-the-top monster annihilations Gods who regret giving him too much power Political factions terrified of a boy who doesn’t know his own strength And through it all? He’s still haunted by the memory of that vending machine.
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Chapter 1 - “WHY CAN’T I CONTROL MY NECK?!”

Darkness.

Warmth.

Floating.

Lee Min had no idea how long he'd been stuck in the void. He had no body. No voice. No feeling—except an overwhelming sensation of being swaddled in cosmic bubble wrap.

He wasn't sure how reincarnation worked, but he was pretty sure it wasn't supposed to be like being stuck inside a premium memory-foam prison.

Suddenly, everything around him began to squeeze.

"W-wait—WAIT—STOP—THIS ISN'T WHAT GOD MEANT!" he screamed.

Except it came out as:

"WAAAAAAAH!"

Oh no.

No no no no.

He couldn't speak—only cry.

He tried to move his arms and legs. They flailed weakly in a way that would have embarrassed even an octopus. He had no control. His limbs felt like undercooked noodles.

He realized the horrifying truth.

He was being born.

**THE FIRST TRAUMATIC ENTRANCE**

A blinding light hit him as he emerged into the world. Someone caught him—kind of. It felt more like being lifted by a slippery crane operator with a caffeine problem.

Voices echoed around him:

"It's a boy!"

"What a healthy cry!"

"Oh my gosh, he's gorgeous!"

Lee Min blinked through baby tears.

Everything was blurry, like someone smeared Vaseline across his eyeballs.

He saw vague shapes—people staring down at him with awe and sparkles in their eyes.

A soft chime rang in his mind.

📢 SYSTEM BOOTING…

[PITY SYSTEM INITIALIZING…]

[Welcome back, Lee Min!]

[You have been successfully reincarnated!]

Great. Fantastic.

At least the System was still with him.

Then more messages started popping up rapidly:

[Warning: Host body is currently 34 seconds old]

[Motor control: 0%]

[Speech capability: 0%]

[Urination control: 0%]

Lee internally screamed.

Why would the System list that?!

He tried to speak, but it came out as another wail.

"WAAAAAAHH—!"

One of the blurry figures gently cradled him. Her voice was warm and soft.

"Oh, he's beautiful… look at his eyes!"

Great. He was handsome at birth.

God really did go all-out on the pity package.

The woman—his mother?—held him against her chest. He could feel her heartbeat, steady and warm. It was calming in a way he didn't expect.

A man's voice spoke next:

"He already looks like a warrior."

Lee tried to puff his chest proudly but only managed to wiggle like a confused caterpillar.

💫 THE FIRST ACCIDENTAL POWER SPIKE**

A nurse (or whatever fantasy-world equivalent) picked him up to clean him. As soon as she lifted him, he panicked and mentally shouted:

"DON'T DROP ME!"

The ground shook.

The nurse froze.

Everyone froze.

The entire room rumbled as if a mini-earthquake hit. Bottles rattled, shelves shook, and a chair flipped over dramatically.

His mother gasped.

"The baby… caused that?"

Lee froze too.

DID HE JUST ACTIVATE A SKILL BY ACCIDENT?!

A new notification confirmed the disaster:

[Skill Activated: Raw Mana Burst]

[Effect: Releases 10% of total mana]

[Note: 10% of your mana is equal to 4.5 city blocks]

Please refrain from panicking in the future.

Lee wanted to cry—no wait, he was already crying.

The nurse set him down VERY carefully now, like handling a live grenade.

**FAMILY REACTIONS: PANIC AND PRIDE**

His father's voice shook.

"D-did our newborn just… unleash magic?"

His mother proudly beamed:

"He's so gifted!"

"Gifted?" Lee mentally cried. "Lady, I nearly blew up your delivery room!"

A healer rushed in, panting.

"I sensed a mana fluctuation! What powerful mage is casting spells here?!"

Everyone pointed to the newborn.

The healer stared.

"…You must be joking."

The System chimed cheerfully:

[Congratulations! Social reputation increased!]

[New Title Earned: 'Scarily Powerful Infant']

Fantastic.

Not even two minutes old and already labeled a threat.

**BIG BRAIN BABY PROBLEM #1: NO NECK CONTROL**

After being cleaned and wrapped, Lee was placed in his mother's arms again. He tried to look around… but his head wobbled like a bobblehead doll on a trampoline.

His neck was made of cooked linguine.

He mentally screamed at his own muscles:

"Hold still! Stop wobbling! Stop—"

His head flopped sideways.

His father panicked.

"He's dying!"

His mother corrected him.

"He's just… being a baby."

His father whispered, "Can we return him?"

Lee wanted to die again.

The System was no help.

[Warning: Neck Strength = 0.0004]

[Recommendation: Do not attempt dramatic head movements for 4–6 months]

**BIG BRAIN BABY PROBLEM #2: HANDS HAVE THEIR OWN AGENDA**

He tried to control his hands.

Tried really hard.

They floated upward like claws. He looked like he was summoning a demon or warding off a ghost.

His father stepped back nervously.

"Honey… he's doing something."

"It's called moving."

Lee accidentally slapped himself in the face.

"GAAAH!"

Except it came out as:

"UHBWAAA!"

His mother giggled.

"He's precious!"

The System disagreed.

[Host has inflicted self-damage]

[HP -1]

LEE WAS LOSING HIT POINTS TO HIS OWN BABY HANDS.

**BIG BRAIN BABY PROBLEM #3: EVERYONE THINKS HE'S A PRODIGY**

A few hours later, after the chaos settled, the family priest visited. He placed a glowing crystal above baby Lee to assess magical potential.

The moment the crystal touched his aura, it exploded.

BOOM!

Shards flew everywhere.

The priest was blasted onto his back like a ragdoll.

He sat up trembling.

"SSS-rank potential! I've never seen such a reading! T-this child is destined to change the kingdom!"

Lee mentally sighed.

"Buddy, I can't even control my neck."

But it was too late.

The legend had begun.