Luke stared blankly at the white light in front of him.
Second one: he glanced over at the Everstone still sitting on the table.
Second two: he turned back, watching claws form on Gastly's evolving body.
Second three: he started genuinely searching for a "B" button to cancel the evolution outright.
There wasn't one. Obviously.
The light wrapped fully around Gastly as a misty aura spread outward, resolving into a jagged, purple ghost face lined with spikes down both sides of its head. Its once-round eyes stretched long and narrow, a pale blue flame flickering in its dark pupils, fangs sharpening into purple points. On either side of its new form floated a pair of gaunt, spectral hands — clawed, agile, unmistakably functional.
Haunter's eyes narrowed to slits as it reached out with both new hands, scooped up the sauce-covered plate, and started licking it clean with obvious delight.
"Kojie!"
...You evolved just to lick a plate more efficiently?
To be fair, hands were a genuine upgrade over Gastly's old setup. Luke pressed a hand to his forehead, headache brewing. I just spent fourteen hundred dollars on an Everstone and you evolved anyway?
Then again — the Everstone had only ever been there to prevent mid-battle evolution, not evolution outright. This one happening at home, off the clock, felt more like a natural checkpoint than a malfunction.
Gastly. No — Haunter, now.
Once the plate was fully clean, Haunter let out a satisfied burp, eyes narrowing into a familiar mischievous grin.
"Same old you." Luke smiled. "Wash the dishes after, though."
Having hands is going to make chores so much easier around here.
"Kojie!" Haunter, sauce still smeared across its face, extended its long red tongue and lunged happily toward Luke, who sidestepped smoothly, already scrolling through the move list.
Beyond the existing Substitute-Protect-Toxic package and its status moves, evolution had unlocked two new additions.
First: Hex. Haunter wrapped its Haze around the target, and — in theory — the more status conditions already stacked on the opponent, the harder it hit. In this world, where status conditions genuinely stacked without limit, a fully-loaded Hex against a target already juggling five different conditions would be devastating.
Luke actually shivered thinking about it. "That's filthy. Genuinely filthy."
Haunter had picked this up specifically from the Swellow fight, with the Everstone's help — which finally made that $1,400 purchase feel almost worth it. Almost. Still stung a little.
"Could've held off evolving until it learned Shadow Ball instead," Luke muttered. "Feels like a missed opportunity." Then, catching himself: "Oh wait — not a Trainer. Doesn't matter."
The second move, Shadow Punch, had come automatically with evolution — still rough, requiring real practice to land cleanly. But watching Haunter eagerly wailing on the nearest wall, Luke figured mastery wasn't far off.
"Sijie sijie!" Haunter looked thrilled, fists phasing straight through the wall and back out the other side in rapid succession, cackling the whole time.
Luke looked up at the ceiling. This feels oddly familiar. Isn't this basically that anime where people summon weird spirit things and just start punching?
"Haunter," Luke called. "Sink into my shadow for a second."
"Kojie!" It obliged instantly, phasing into the shadow pooling at his feet, natural talent for it clearly built into the species — only its faint glowing eyes still visible, scanning the room.
Luke planted a hand on his hip, snapped his fingers. "Shadow Punch."
"Kojie!" Haunter shot out from behind him, unleashing a flurry of afterimage punches into empty air.
"Perfect." Luke's eyes lit up. "Now I don't have to worry about getting jumped."
Personal safety was no small concern in this world — even genuine Elites weren't immune to getting caught off guard in unregulated wild encounters. Somewhere in Pokémon Adventures canon, the Dragon-type Elite Four member Lance had actually lost a wild battle to Yellow's Raticate and Caterpie, of all things. Embarrassing, honestly, for someone at that rank.
With Haunter's shadow-phasing ability now in play, Luke figured he had a decent safety net going forward. Not that he planned on becoming a Trainer — but contingency planning never hurt.
______________________________
Once Haunter wandered off to get used to its new body and finish the dishes, Luke pulled his camera down and started reviewing the footage.
Ten minutes in, his expression shifted from casual to genuinely stunned. This footage is actually incredible.
There was no denying it — Luke's looks alone carried a lot of weight, even in a food-content video. Watching himself cook with practiced ease was already pleasant viewing; the dark circles and light stubble from too many late nights didn't read as sloppy so much as they added a kind of lived-in charm. The shot of sauce pouring over the roast, steam curling visibly off the plate, Gastly's eager bite — it all landed cleanly on camera. A little editing, a color grade, and this was easily his best food video yet.
The final segment was the evolution itself. Right after finishing the roast, Gastly had lit up and evolved on camera — which, watched back, made it look almost like the food itself had triggered it.
Luke actually laughed out loud. "Of course. Even my cooking's powerful enough to trigger evolution." He patted himself on the shoulder, thoroughly pleased.
Then his hand froze mid-pat.
Wait. Haunter's food budget is definitely going to be worse than Gastly's.
A bead of sweat rolled down his forehead. On top of Haunter's pickier appetite, he'd now need to grind out BP even harder just to keep the berry supply flowing — and combined with the system's ever-more-specific quests, the whole pattern suddenly looked less like coincidence and more like a coordinated push.
This is a trap. The system's been quietly steering me toward the Trainer path this whole time.
"You've been playing me," Luke muttered, breath catching, all the earlier excitement draining out and leaving something closer to dread.
He pulled up his calculator and ran the numbers. "Gastly's monthly costs ran about $280. Blue's Breeding Manual puts Haunter's dietary needs at minimum triple that..."
"Call it $850 a month, and I'm broke in six months flat — and that's before rent and utilities."
He took a slow breath and, with forced calm, said, "Well. As long as it doesn't evolve into Gengar, I can technically still survive this."
Steadying himself, Luke pulled out his memory card and got to editing the new episode. Multi-camera setup meant no reshoots needed — he wrapped the edit in under two hours, finishing right around 1:30 AM.
On screen: golden, glistening bacon roast, sauce pooling thick around it, practically radiating comfort-food energy. The smell nearly leapt off the footage, sauce overflowing, Gastly chewing with unrestrained enthusiasm in the background.
Nobody's resisting midnight food content this good. Nobody.
Luke swallowed hard and hit Upload.
While it processed, he called out to Haunter, still tidying the kitchen. "Hey, make me a bowl of instant noodles — two sausages in it."
"Kojie!"
[Your video has passed review and is now live!]
[Click to watch: "Teacher Luke's Midnight Diner #01: Crispy Roast Replica!"]