Day 32 - Back to "normal" (whatever that means now)
Tama requested a formal
eeting.
Not through the bonds. Not through one of my other mates. Through proper pack channels, like I was the Alpha and he was petitioning for an audience.
It was weirdly respectful and also deeply annoying.
"He's trying," Elara said when I complained about it over breakfast.
"He's being extra."
"He's Beta. Being extra is literally his job description."
Fair point.
So I agreed to meet him in the formal greeting room, because apparently we had one of those, at exactly 2 PM.
Tama arrived five minutes early. Also typical.
He wore formal pack attire, his hair perfectly styled, posture rigid. Everything about him screamed "I have prepared extensively for this conversation."
"Ayla," he said. "Thank you for seeing me."
"You asked through official channels. Felt rude to decline."
"I wanted to do this properly. You deserve that."
I gestured to the chairs. "Sit. This feels too formal standing."
He sat, perfectly straight, hands folded in his lap.
"So," I said. "What's this about?"
"An apology. A real one. Not the half-formed attempt I made at the sanctuary." He met my eyes. "I spent years enforcing rules that kept you at the bottom of the pack hierarchy. I saw you struggling and did nothing to help. Worse—I actively made things harder because the rules said I should."
"Yeah. You did."
"I told myself I was being fair. Impartial. That following the law meant I was doing my duty." His jaw tightened. "I was wrong. The law was unjust. And I used it as an excuse to avoid being decent."
"Why?"
"Because it was easier. Because questioning pack law meant questioning everything. My role. My purpose. My worth." He looked down at his hands. "I'm the future Beta. My entire identity is built on maintaining order. Admitting the order was broken meant admitting I was broken."
"That's... actually pretty self-aware."
"I've had a lot of time to think." He pulled out a leather-bound book and set it on the table between us. "This is the new pack law. Rewritten from the ground up."
I picked it up, flipping through pages of careful handwriting. Sections on equal treatment regardless of rank. Protections for unmated wolves. Consequences for abuse of power. Rules against discrimination based on bloodline or perceived weakness.
Everything that would have protected me.
"The elders hate it," Tama said. "They think I'm destroying tradition. Undermining authority. Creating chaos."
"Are you?"
"Maybe. But I'd rather create temporary chaos than perpetual injustice." He leaned forward. "These laws won't undo what I did to you. Nothing can. But they'll protect the next person. Make sure no one else suffers because the law allows it."
I set the book down carefully. "This is good work, Tama."
"Thank you."
"But it doesn't erase what you did."
"I know. That's not why I did it." He straightened. "I rewrote the law because it was broken. Because I failed in my duty as Beta by enforcing injustice instead of preventing it. This is me being better. Not for forgiveness. For principle."
I studied him. The rigid posture. The careful words. The genuine determination in his eyes.
"You really believe that," I said.
"Yes. And I'll spend every day proving it." He stood. "I don't expect forgiveness, Ayla. I don't deserve it. But I'm asking for something else."
"What?"
"Let me serve you properly. As Beta should serve his Alpha's mate. With respect. With honor. With the protection I should have given you from the start."
"I'm not the Alpha's mate."
"No. But you're the white wolf. Which means you outrank everyone, including Ardana." He smiled slightly. "Pack law is very clear on that. Now that I actually bothered to read the ancient texts."
"You researched?"
"Extensively. You have authority over pack matters. You can override Alpha decisions. You can restructure hierarchy." His smile widened. "You could kick me out if you wanted. The law would support it."
I laughed despite myself. "Are you trying to give me ideas?"
"I'm trying to be honest. You have power here. Not just through your bloodline—through law. I want you to know that. Use it however you see fit."
Something in my chest loosened.
This wasn't just apology. It was acknowledgment. Recognition that I deserved authority, respect, protection.
Everything he'd denied me before.
"One chance," I said. "Same as the others. Prove you're worth it."
"I will." He moved toward the door, then paused. "For what it's worth—the pack is better with you in it. Always was. I'm sorry it took me so long to see that."
After he left, I sat with the law book and wondered if maybe, possibly, Tama might actually earn his chance.
"He's trying," Sahya said. "More than trying. He's changing the entire system."
"Laws are easy to write. Harder to follow."
"True. But he's giving you tools. That's something."
Maybe.
---
Bima arrived the next day.
No formal request. No scheduled meeting.
He just showed up at my door at dawn and said, "Spar with me."
I blinked sleep from my eyes. "What?"
"Spar. Fight. You and me. No holds barred."
"You want me to fight you?"
"Yes."
"The Gamma warrior who spent years making me run until I puked wants me to fight him."
"Yes."
"Why?"
"Because I need to learn." He shifted his weight, uncomfortable. "How to be strong without being cruel. How to push without breaking. How to teach without destroying." He met my eyes. "You're strong despite everything I did to you. I want to understand how."
I stared at him.
This was possibly the most Bima thing ever—asking to get beaten up as penance.
"Fine," I said. "Training grounds. Twenty minutes. Don't be late."
"I won't."
---
We faced each other on the training grounds, watched by a small crowd of curious pack members who'd heard the white wolf was going to fight the Gamma warrior.
"Rules?" Bima asked.
"No rules. First to yield loses."
"Good."
He shifted to wolf form. Massive, gray, covered in scars from decades of fighting.
I shifted too. White fur blazing in the morning sun.
The crowd went silent.
We circled each other slowly.
Bima lunged first, testing, not committing.
I dodged easily. He was fast, but I was faster.
He tried again. Feinted left, struck right.
I was already moving, using his momentum against him, claws raking across his shoulder.
First blood.
"He's holding back," Sahya observed.
"I know."
Bima reset, circling again. This time when he lunged, he committed fully.
We collided mid-air, a tangle of claws and teeth and fury.
He was stronger. Heavier. More experienced.
But I was powered by years of anger and a bloodline that made me something more.
I twisted, using his weight against him, and we hit the ground hard.
Bima on bottom, me on top, teeth at his throat.
He could've thrown me off. Could've used his strength to escape.
He didn't.
He yielded.
I stepped back, shifting to human. Someone threw me clothes.
Bima shifted too, blood dripping from scratches that were already healing.
"You held back," I said.
"I did."
"Why?"
"Because I'm not trying to win. I'm trying to learn."
I walked closer. "Learn what?"
"How to be strong without hurting people weaker than me. How to know when to push and when to stop. How to teach without destroying." He looked at me. "You're strong because I tried to break you and you refused. I want to build that strength in others without breaking them first."
"That's... surprisingly thoughtful."
"I've had a lot of time to think about the damage I've done." He gestured to the younger wolves watching. "They're scared of me. They respect me. But they're scared. I don't want that anymore."
"What do you want?"
"To be worthy of them. Of you. Of the position I hold." He knelt. Right there in front of everyone. "Train me. Show me how to do better. I'll follow your lead."
The Gamma warrior. Kneeling. Asking me to teach him.
"He means it," Sahya said. "I can feel it through the bond."
"Get up," I said.
He did.
"You train with me. Every morning. We spar. I teach you control, patience, restraint. And when you mess up—and you will—I don't hold back."
"Good."
"And you train the younger wolves the way I train you. Build them up instead of breaking them down."
"I will."
"One chance, Bima. Same as everyone else."
"I'll earn it."
He left, and the crowd slowly dispersed, whispering about what they'd seen.
The white wolf and the Gamma warrior.
The future of the pack.
"You're teaching them all," Sahya said. "Not just your mates. The whole pack."
"I'm setting boundaries."
"Same thing."
Maybe.
But it felt right.
For the first time since I'd awakened, I felt like I had control.
Not just over my power.
Over my life.
Eighty-seven.