Day 29 - Back where it started
The pack compound looked different through wolf eyes.
Or maybe it looked different because I'd changed.
We traveled back as a unit—me in the center, my five mates surrounding me like a living shield. Ina followed behind, keeping pace easily despite her age.
Every wolf we passed stopped and stared.
At me. The white wolf.
At my mates, bloodied and fierce from the fight.
At the fact that I was here, not hidden, not invisible.
Finally seen.
"They're afraid," Sahya said.
"Of me or of what attacked us?"
"Both. You're powerful and that scares them. But you also attracted enemies, and that terrifiobserved"
Great. From invisible to terrifying. What an upgrade.
Alpha Ardana met us at the main compound, flanked by the elders. His expression was unreadable as always, but something flickered in his eyes when he saw me.
Relief? Pride? Guilt?
Maybe all three.
"The Gerhanas attacked," he said. Not a question.
"Yes," Ina answered. "They breached the sanctuary. The white wolf destroyed most of them, but they'll return with greater numbers."
"Then we prepare." Ardana's gaze swept over my mates. "You fought together?"
"Yes," Raka said. His hand brushed my flank, still in wolf form, possessively. "And we'll fight again. Whatever comes."
"Good." Ardana turned to address the gathered pack. "The enemy has revealed itself. The Gerhanas seek to consume the white wolf's power. To drain her bloodline and leave her as nothing. We will not allow this."
Murmurs rippled through the crowd.
"Why should we fight for her?" someone called out. "She brought this danger to us!"
Sahya growled. Low and threatening.
The voice shut up.
"She brought nothing," Ardana said coldly. "The danger was always here. We simply hid her from it. And now that she's awakened, we face what her parents faced. What I promised them we would face."
"What promise?" I asked, shifting back to human. Someone, Elara, immediately handed me clothes. "What did you promise my parents?"
Ardana was quiet for a long moment. Then he gestured to the pack house. "Inside. This conversation requires privacy."
---
The Alpha's private office was exactly what I expected. Dark wood. Heavy furniture. Bookshelves lined with pack history and law.
I sat across from Ardana while my mates stood behind me, a united front. Ina took a seat near the window.
"Your parents," Ardana began, "came to me eighteen years ago. Your mother was pregnant with you, and your father—my closest friend—was terrified."
"Why?"
"Because he knew what you were. The seal on your power wasn't perfect. He could feel your wolf, sense the ancient bloodline. And he knew what that meant."
"That the Gerhanas would come for me."
"Yes. They'd been hunting white wolves for centuries. Consuming their power, adding it to their master's strength. Your bloodline was thought extinct. But your father's family had hidden the gene, passing it down in secret, waiting."
"Waiting for what?"
"For you. For the white wolf to be reborn with enough strength to fight back." Ardana leaned forward. "Your father asked me to protect you. To keep you hidden until you were strong enough to face what was coming. I promised him I would."
"By letting the pack treat me like garbage?" The anger in my voice surprised even me. "By letting Raka and Bima and Tama make my life hell? That was protection?"
"Yes."
The simple answer stunned me.
"How?" I demanded.
"Because if I'd elevated you, shown you favor, treated you as special, the seal would have cracked earlier. Your wolf would have emerged before you were ready. The Gerhanas would have found you when you were still a child, still weak." His jaw tightened. "So I kept you low. Let you be overlooked. Let you suffer so you would survive."
"That's fucked up."
"Yes. It was." He met my eyes. "But you're alive. And you're strong enough now to fight. That was the goal."
"What about my parents? How did they die?"
Ardana's expression darkened. "The Gerhanas found them anyway. Demanded they hand you over. Your parents refused. Fought them. Died protecting your location." He paused. "I got there too late. Found their bodies. Found you, barely two years old, hiding in a closet, crying."
My chest tightened.
"The Gerhanas were gone. Driven back by your parents' sacrifice. I took you, reinforced the seal on your power, and raised you as I'd promised. Not as my daughter—that would draw too much attention—but as pack. Protected but not elevated."
"You let them hurt me," I said quietly. "For years. You watched and did nothing."
"I did what I had to do to keep you alive."
"Protection and neglect aren't the same thing!"
"I know." For the first time, Ardana's control cracked. "I know. And I failed you in that. I kept you alive but I didn't keep you whole. That's my burden to bear."
Raka stepped forward. "You told me about her bloodline. When I was sixteen. You made me promise not to tell anyone."
"Yes. Because you needed to know what she'd become. What she'd mean to the pack." Ardana looked at his son. "I didn't anticipate you'd use that knowledge to be cruel."
"That's on me," Raka said. "Not you."
"It's on both of us." Ardana stood. "I made choices to keep Ayla alive. Those choices had consequences. She suffered. The pack was unprepared. And now we all face the fallout."
"So what now?" I asked.
"Now we prepare for war. The Gerhanas will come in force. They want your power, and they won't stop until they have it or you're dead."
"Great. Fantastic. How do we stop them?"
Ina spoke up. "The white wolf has the power to destroy Gerhanas permanently. But it requires control. Training. And most importantly" she looked at my mates "it requires her bonds to be complete."
"Complete how?" Tama asked.
"The white wolf shares her power through mate bonds. Five mates to balance five aspects of her strength. Right now, only one bond is fully accepted." She nodded to Elara. "The others are acknowledged but not completed. That limits her power."
"So I need to accept all of them?" I looked at my four other mates. "Fully?"
"Eventually. When you're ready."
"And if I'm never ready?"
"Then you fight at partial strength. And the Gerhanas will overwhelm you."
Silence fell over the room.
"That's not a choice," I said. "That's coercion."
"That's reality," Ina corrected gently. "The bonds exist whether you accept them or not. But accepting them, truly accepting them, will give you the strength you need."
I looked at Raka, who'd taken a hit for me. At Rivan, who'd burned with his poetry. At Tama, who'd rewritten pack law. At Bima, who'd changed everything about himself.
They were trying.
But trying wasn't the same as earning.
"I need time," I said.
"You don't have much," Ardana warned.
"I need it anyway."
He nodded. "You'll stay in the pack house. Your mates will guard you in shifts. Ina will continue your training. And when the Gerhanas come..."
"We fight together," I finished. "All of us."
"Yes."
I stood, suddenly exhausted. "Can I go? I need to sleep for about a week."
"Of course." Ardana hesitated. "Ayla. For what it's worth, I am sorry. For the choices I made. For the pain you endured. You deserved better."
It was the most emotion I'd ever heard from him.
"Yeah," I said. "I did."
I left before he could say anything else.
---
My mates followed me to the honored guestscared, which was apparently mine permanently now.
"You don't have to guard me yet," I said. "I'm just going to sleep."
"We know," Elara said. "But we're not leaving."
"All five of you are going to camp in my room?"
"Yes," they said in unison.
I looked at them, exhausted, bloodied, determined, and sighed.
"Fine. But someone better order food because I'm starving."
Bima immediately left to handle it.
Tama started setting up a guard rotation.
Rivan grabbed blankets and pillows.
Raka just stood there, watching me like I might disappear.
Elara pulled me close and kissed my forehead. "You did good today. Healing Raka. Fighting the Gerhanas. Confronting Ardana."
"I feel like I did terrible."
"That's how you know you're growing."
"That's a terrible metric."
He laughed. "Get some rest. We'll be here."
I crawled into bed, still wearing borrowed clothes because apparently my entire wardrobe was limited to training gear, and tried to process everything.
My parents died protecting me.
Ardana kept me alive by letting me suffer.
The Gerhanas wanted to consume my power.
My mates were trying to earn me.
And I was the white wolf, with enough power to destroy ancient enemies but only if I accepted bonds I wasn't sure I wanted.
"You want them," Sahya said sleepily. "You're just scared."
"Of what?"
"Of being hurt again. Of opening yourself up and having them destroy you."
"That's a valid fear."
"Yes. But it's also limiting you. Them too."
I looked at my mates, spread around the room, guarding even in exhaustion.
Maybe Sahya was right.
Maybe I was scared.
But I'd earned the right to be scared.
And they'd earn the right to heal that fear.
Or they wouldn't.
Either way, it was my choice.
Eighty-nine.