Alferd Ceiser stood at the edge of the crater he had created, staring at an innocent-looking oak tree about ten feet away.
"Okay, Alferd," he whispered to himself, trying to psychoanalyze his own body. "Physics here is broken. You are broken. Just walk. Do not sprint. Do not double-jump. Just... walk."
He took a tentative step forward.
CRUNCH.
His foot sank six inches into the solid earth, compressing the soil as if he were stepping into fresh snow.
"Right. Strength stat is maxed. That means weight distribution is probably a nightmare," Alferd muttered. He took another step, lighter this time, focusing on being a feather. It worked better. He wasn't destroying the geology of the forest anymore, though he looked like he was walking on eggshells.
He navigated through the dense woods for about twenty minutes. The forest was beautiful—HD graphics, ray-tracing lighting effects filtering through the leaves, and 4K textures on the moss. It was a gamer's paradise, minus the smell of pine, which was actually kind of overwhelming.
Suddenly, a notification dinged in his ear.
[Passive Skill Acquired: Stealth (Level MAX)]
[Reason: You walked quietly for 10 minutes.]
"Wait, what?" Alferd stopped dead in his tracks. "I get max level skills just by doing things once?"
He waved his hand in front of his face.
[Passive Skill Acquired: Wind Magic Resistance (Level MAX)]
"Okay, this is going to get annoying fast," he groaned, swiping the blue window away.
Just then, a shrill scream cut through the peaceful ambiance of the forest. It didn't sound like a bird. It sounded human.
"Quest trigger," Alferd said instinctively.
He pivoted on his heel and dashed toward the sound. Bad idea.
With his Agility maxed out, Alferd didn't just run; he vanished. The world blurred into a tunnel of green and brown. He covered three hundred meters in a blink, unable to stop until his face met the side of a massive boulder.
BOOM.
The boulder shattered into gravel. Alferd stood there, face covered in dust, completely unharmed.
"Braking. Need to work on braking," he coughed, wiping his eyes.
He peeked through the bushes. In a small clearing, a girl with silver hair clad in rusted iron armor was backed against a tree. She was holding a chipped sword, her hands shaking violently.
Towering over her was a wolf. But calling it a wolf was an insult to wolves. This thing was the size of a minivan, with fur like steel wire and three eyes glowing crimson red.
[Enemy Identified: Dread Wolf (Level 45)]
[Danger Level: High for normal humans. Irrelevant for you.]
The wolf snarled, drool dripping from its jaws. The girl squeezed her eyes shut, swinging her sword blindly. "Stay back! I... I am a Knight of the Azure Guard!"
The wolf didn't seem to care about her résumé. It lunged.
Alferd didn't think. He just moved.
He stepped out of the bush and appeared between the girl and the beast. To his accelerated perception, the wolf was moving in slow motion. He could see the individual flecks of saliva flying through the air.
"Bad dog," Alferd said.
He raised his right hand. He intended to just slap it away. A firm 'get lost' smack.
But as his palm connected with the wolf's snout, the YouTuber remembered the crater. He remembered the boulder.
KRA-KOOM!
The sound was like a cannon firing. A shockwave rippled out from Alferd's hand, flattening the grass in a circle around them.
The Dread Wolf didn't just fly away; it vaporized. The sheer kinetic force of the slap turned the monster into a red mist that sprayed backward, painting the trees behind it. The upper half of the forest canopy for the next mile was blown away by the air pressure.
Silence returned to the clearing.
Alferd stood there, his hand still extended, staring at the empty spot where a Level 45 monster used to be.
"Oops," he whispered.
He slowly turned around. The silver-haired girl had opened her eyes. She was staring at him, her mouth hanging open. She looked from him, to the path of destruction carved through the forest, and back to him.
"A-Are you..." she stammered, her voice trembling. "Are you the God of War?"
Alferd looked down at his plain t-shirt and jeans, now slightly grass-stained.
"Uh, no," he scratched the back of his head. "I'm just a passing YouTuber. Name's Alferd."
She blinked. "You-Toober? Is that an ancient clan of assassins?"
"Something like that," he sighed. He extended a hand to help her up. "You okay?"
She looked at his hand like it was a loaded weapon. She hesitated, then slowly, terrified, reached out and took it.
As Alferd pulled her up—using 0.0001% of his strength so he didn't rip her arm off—a new window popped up.
[Quest Complete: Save the Damsel.]
[Reward: 500 Gold Coins, 1x Map of the Kingdom.]
A heavy pouch of coins dropped out of thin air and landed on Alferd's head with a thud.
"Ow," he rubbed his head.
The girl stared at the gold. "Did... did the sky just pay you?"
"Yeah," Alferd picked up the pouch. "It's a living. So, which way is the nearest town? I need a drink. Preferably something without caffeine."