'Wow! I haven't felt that kind of feeling since college, but this time it's different, it feels… strong,' I told myself. I had planned on finalising my designs for tomorrow's presentation but I found it hard to concentrate.
"FuXi! How are you getting on buddy? These look amazing," Suki asked, as she walked past.
"Oh! Thank you Suki. I'm just trying to figure out the final details, but finding it hard to concentrate today. I think it will be a late one for me tonight," I told her.
"Sorry to hear that. I wouldn't beat yourself up over this too much at this stage. You have reached this stage quicker than anyone. If you are finding it hard to concentrate or lack inspiration, I get like that sometimes, I always work on something else or listen to music while I work. Even just taking a break helps and what really works for me is taking a walk," Suki suggested.
"Thanks for the advice Suki. I think listening to music sounds like a good idea," I thanked.
"You're welcome. I will see you tomorrow and remember don't work too late. Don't make a rod for your own back, especially since you haven't been here long ," Suki reminded me.
"I know I know, I shouldn't be working this hard already, but this is going to be the company's next big collection. Well, we hope it will be," I corrected myself.
"Okay, okay! See you tomorrow FuXi," Suki said.
"See you in the morning," I replied, as she walked out the door.
I sat at my workstation and fiddled with my pens because that's what I usually do when I lack inspiration and it sometimes helps me figure things out. I decided to take Suki's advice. I grabbed my phone and scrolled through my Spotify playlists. I picked this artist I used to listen to all the time. It's sort of comforting. His name is Jai Wolf. His style is somewhat chilled out and it helps me think in ways I don't usually and it blocks out what's happening around me. Only this time it feels different, I may have to try something new to overcome this feeling.
For about an hour, I immersed myself in my work. When this sudden jolt came upon me, I spun and there he was standing in the shadows.
"Geesus Mica, you scared the shit out of me, I thought everyone had left already and I was the last one," I yelled, catching my breath.
"I am sorry FuXi. I was heading home when I suddenly felt a desire to check if anyone else was here. I got off the elevator and saw your light on and there you were, still working. Why don't you head out with me. I will take you back to your apartment," Mica offered.
"Erm… ok, sure, just let me finish this then we can go," I told him. As I tweaked one of the minor details of the mock-up ring I'd been doing, he stood speechless, quietly watching me as I finished up.
After I had locked everything away in the safe we headed out in silence and he guided me towards his chauffeured car. The journey to my apartment was also quiet, but it was the sort that I liked, not the awkward kind.
I was about to get out of the car, then I stopped. Our eyes locked and that's when I felt the sudden urge to kiss him. I know he's my boss, but it felt like the right moment. I was millimetres away but because of my highly sensitive sense of smell I could smell the whisky on his breath, which stopped me. I gagged a little, I hated the smell of whiskey. I pulled myself back and quickly exited the car. I glanced back a few times before his car drove off.
That evening I laid in my bed after my shower. I couldn't stop replaying that moment in my mind. There were only two ways that could have gone if I had kissed him. One, I could have kissed him and he would have pushed me away, or he'd kiss me back and we end up in bed, which was highly unprofessional of both of us. I know people like to do that just to get a promotion and a raise but I have no idea why.
I was tossing and turning most of the night, but I managed to sleep for a few hours. I even had my first sex dream about Mica. Imagine if he had reciprocated my kiss and it escalated into something bigger. Thinking about it now, it felt more like a vision than a dream. It felt so real.