"What a load of crock!" Neera cried out in frustration, banging the table with her wooden tankard. "All that effort and I have nothing to show for it! It's just not fair!"
We had returned to the safety of Feldepost's Inn after a, uh, successful adventure.
Well, successful in that we saved Adoy, beat the bad guy and survived to tell the tale. Not so successful in Neera getting what she wanted in the first place. As all the rest of us expected, Adoy had no tips for Neera to control her wild magic. He didn't have any control of it himself, after all. The entire incident with the goblins was borne out of his magic summoning goblins out of nowhere when he was trying to cook himself a nice pot of pease porridge.
Risla, Magreb's companion, was dead. All for a bad wild surge.
Back in Adoy's Enclave, we had found Risla's body, and gave her dignified burial. With some coaxing, Magreb joined us as Branwen conducted proper funeral rites for the ranger.
Adoy and Neera didn't join us. Adoy, because he had disappeared right after the incident, through yet another wild magic surge while trying to conjure us a reward. So far I'm not certain he had cast a single spell without a surge.
Neera, because she was too busy ranting and complaining, and refused to be consoled. "Just leave me the hell alone!" were her exact words.
Speaking of Neera's words, throughout the ceremony for Risla, a lot of what Neera said ran through my mind. "It's not fair! I've traveled so far and overcome so many obstacles, ALL ON MY OWN, and he just disappears!" in particular. Emphasis mine. She really did say that in front of the whole party.
Urrrgh. How can anyone stand her? I get that she's meant to be leaning into the selfish part of the Chaotic Neutral alignment. But are all CN characters supposed to be so aggravating to be around? Garrick and Quayle aren't like this- no, wait, those are bad examples. Uh, Safana actually is also a terrible example. Never mind, moving on.
As Branwen went through the motions of the ritual, giving comfort to Magreb for his loss, I took a look at the other members of my party. Khalid, Jaheira, Imoen were all being solemn, but were also looking worn out.
I get it. We came here all this way just for Neera. And she has not said any words of thanks to any of us.
"Oh, of course you helped, Sonny. I haven't forgotten that's it's all about YOU" Neera had said.
God damn it. Why do her words sting so much?
Back in Feldepost's, I had made the executive decision to treat ourselves to a nice room and meal, something I'd never ever do in the game. The little luxuries hit different when you're experiencing it person.
Before that, we were having a post-adventure celebration with food and drink. Sort of? Neera has had every opportunity to show some appreciation to the people who put their lives on the lines for her, but she's just drinking herself into a stupor and whining.
Around me, everyone looked fed up. Khalid, Jaheira, Branwen, even Neera's best-est pal, Imoen. We were holding our mugs in our hands, barely drinking, just listening to Neera rant.
Jaheira got up first. "That's enough. I'm going. Come on Khalid, let's get some rest."
Branwen got up next. "I too, shall turn in for the night."
Imoen gave Neera a long, hard glare, then got up as well. "I'm tired. Bye."
Neera, not hardly sober, looked at everyone leaving. "Where are you all going?"
They didn't answer. Just walked up the stairs, head to their rooms.
I was about to head up as well, when Neera pulled at my shirt and shook me. "Sonny! Why did everyone leave? Nobody even tried to console me!"
I pushed her hands off. "You're drunk, we're tired. We're done for today. Good night."
I stood up, walked away. Then I heard a thump.
Please, no. I turned around, every so slowly, afraid of what I'd see. True enough, Neera was face first into the table.
I groaned out loud. This is so cliché it hurts. I'm to be the one that drags her to her room and put her to bed properly since I'm the only one left, right?
Except I'm a bloody halfling! I'm strong for my size, incredibly so, but due to the way physics works I can't actually carry Neera to her room. Leverage is a thing, and it hates short people.
I looked around the drinking area. Maybe I could get one of the inn staff to help me?
"Need a hand with the pink-haired beauty?" a gruff voice said behind me.
I turned, a huge smile on my face. My smile turned to surprise, but I smiled again.
"Hello Marl. Yeah, I could definitely use a hand," I said to him.
Dunkin was with Marl as well. The two men put their drinks aside, and hoisted Neera, unconscious, by her arms around their two shoulders.
"Wow, now I feel bad," I said to them. "It's my friend and I'm not even contributing."
I am so sorry for all the times I killed you Marl. You were asking for it, really. Man, the developers really made it hard to avoid killing you.
"No offense friend, but how would you?" Dunkin said, using his hand to illustrate the difference in our heights. "Kind of lopsided?"
"Don't make a big deal of it," Marl said. "Just think of it as us repaying a favor. To adventurers who returned from making the realms a better place."
"Yeah. We did do that, didn't we?" I said to myself rather than them. "I think I'll have a talk with the rest of my party tomorrow. They could use a reminder of what they've achieved."
I showed them to Neera's room upstairs, where we dumped her on the bed, tucked her in, and closed the door behind us.
Over breakfast, I took the trouble to give a little speech. "We avenged Risla, consoled Magreb, saved an innocent man, and put down some Thayans with evil intentions. It was good work we did back there, and I don't want to see any more sour faces."
I lifted my fork out of my bacon and pointed it at Neera, who was taken aback. "ESPECIALLY not from you! Not another word of complaint. We've been listening to it all the way back and the entire of last night."
Neera gave a weak nod and groaned, and covered her ears. Drinking too much was taking a toll on her. Again. In front of her was her mug of coffee.
The rest cheered, loudly, on purpose.
Pleased with myself, I took a good look at the pink-haired irritation. The timing was right for me to get this out of the way. "Hey folks, could you move to the other table? I want to speak to Neera about something private."
Neera's eyes widened. I could see her shrinking into the bench. She probably figured she's in for a lecture, or possibly even getting kicked from the group. The rest left us, carrying their plates of food across to another table, giving Neera a glance. Imoen looked the most concerned, but she left all the same.
Neera cringed, braced for what was to come.
I sighed. If you knew you had done something wrong, maybe you should have apologized? "First of, I wanted to check how you slept last night. No vomiting in bed, I hope."
She shook her head. "You were the one who put me to bed?" Neera blinked, looked at me up and down. "Can you even do that? No offense."
"None taken. I couldn't, in fact. Marl and Dunkin helped out, of all people."
Neera sat up in her bench at the table. "Seriously? That jerk helped? Damn, even they're better friends than me."
I raised an eyebrow. "If you know you've done something wrong-"
"I know, I know!" she said, putting her hands up in the air. "I was getting to it really. Just, hangover and stuff."
I crossed my arms, leaned back, looked her straight in the eye. "I don't buy it. You were never going to apologize. It would mean promising to do better next time, which was something you had no intention of doing. You will always act out whenever you feel like it."
Neera's eyebrows furrowed. She gave me her best death stare, which I met with a matter-of-fact look. In the end, she looked away and went back to sulking and sipping coffee. "You're really bad at talking to women, you know that?"
"So I've been told." If giving way to women when they're being a bitch to everyone was the right way, I wanted to stay wrong. "How's the coffee, by the way?"
She gave a so-so wave with her hand.
I laughed. "I figured you wouldn't like the basics. Figured you for something more upmarket, like cappuccino or matcha kind of girl."
"You think you know me so well," Neera muttered. She looked down at her coffee and laughed. "Alright, I'd love to try cappuccino someday. Something with coffee art maybe."
Right after the words left her mouth, Neera froze. Her eyes slowly turned to look at me, as if seeing me for the first time.
I'm sure I had a smug look on my face. I stood up, called out, "Hey, Khalid! Come here a second. Need you to confirm something for me."
He came over, and I pointed at Neera's drink. "What is this beverage called again?"
Khalid smiled, and took a long whiff. "Kaeth! It's a beverage from northern Calimshan. Rare in these parts. Feldepost's Inn really has nice things."
I smiled back. "That's all I needed. Thanks Khalid. Sorry, have to ask you to leave us again."
"Not a problem." And he sat back with the rest.
I turned to Neera. "I checked with the inn keeper earlier. It's not actually called coffee in Faerun. I doubt they have cappuccino or matcha either."
Neera peered at me. "That can't be what tipped you off though. What gave me away?"
I gave a shrug. "You're too modern. Speak too modern. 'Geez' is short for Jesus, by the way. Also they don't have telephones, so answering 'You rang?' when people call you makes zero sense in context."*
Neera took another sip of kaeth. "I'm still not so clear exactly what is going on, though. You know of the other world too?"
I frowned. "Know it? Yes, but that's not how I would put it. Aren't you from Earth as well?"
Neera's eyes widened, and she shook her head vigorously. "No. I just know of it. Didn't you grow up in Candlekeep?"
What? "You don't speak or act like you're local, Neera. How can you not be from Earth?"
"How would it make sense that I was?" she snapped back, clutched her head. "Ugh! You really had to pick when I have a hangover to have this conversation with me?"
I massaged my temples to put off the migraine I felt coming on as well. I thought I had it all figured out. Neera is a transmigrated character like me from Earth. It would all fit. Was she lying? Pretty doubtful at this point.
The rest of the party was watching us hold our heads in despair, concerned. Imoen came over to check, but we both silently shooed her back to the other table.
Neera pointed an accusatory finger at me. "You're… you're an isekai character. Or something like that. Somehow," she concluded. "Isekai isn't even a thing in the Forgotten Realms. Yet here you are."
"You shouldn't even know the Forgotten Realms is called the Forgotten Realms, much less know what isekai is," I said, groaning. "With what you know, how can you not also be an isekai character yourself?"
"I just know! I know what coffee is, what a phone is, what a licence is. I talk and act like this because I know it so well that I'm practically living there," Neera explained. "Just that I'm not."
That made zero sense to me.
"What the hell even is this? We don't have a term to explain what you are or why you are like this," I said. "Wait, so you know this is a setting in Dungeons and Dragons? A computer game?"
Neera's eyes shot out of her eyes. She stood up suddenly and shouted, "COMPUTER GAME?!?"
The whole inn stared at her outburst, puzzled and shocked.
She sat down again, and said softer, "Computer game? Stop joking, this is obviously not a computer game! D&D, yes. Somehow. But I don't see any keyboards or menus or nothing, do you?"
I pursed my lips and nodded. "I do see menus, actually."
Neera's mouth hung open. I could practically see the gears spinning in her head as she turned the information she just got over. "Oh. My. God. You're the player, the main character. That explains a lot. Like your foresight thing. It's all cos you've played this game before!"
"Working that 17 Intelligence, for once, eh?"
"Don't make me smack you, nerd!" Neera threatened, then paused. "…oh my god. You can see my stats," she said slowly. She held her cheeks in horror. "Oh my god, do you handle my level ups?!?"
"Obviously. It's not like you can access it yourself."
"I'm really gonna smack you, you jerk!" she shrieked. "You should have asked me first! …no, actually you couldn't. Secrets and all. Aaarghhh!"
Neera started banged the table with her fist. "This sucks! This sucks so much! I don't have words to describe how much this sucks! I'm still getting over my disappointment with Adoy, and you're not helping!"
The rest of the party were now watching at us VERY carefully. We were going to have to tell them something. But what?