At my insistence, we had gathered back at Magreb's house to rest and prepare for the final push. Prior to arriving here we had traveled a total of 32 hours and fought through the Ogres, half-ogres and ogrillons, and we had only jut now fought through throngs of goblins. Nobody argued with me on the point that we should rest. Having Magreb help keep watch and an actual house to rest in was a big bonus, even if it was a bit of a squeeze.
While we were seated on the floor of Magreb's house (not enough bed space, obviously), before the priests and mages started their spell preparations, I had something to say to them all.
"You know, I had been speaking with Garrick. He says all of life is a play, and were merely the actors in it," I said.
Urgh, this had better work.
"I think I've heard that before," Jaheira asked with eyebrow raised. "But what's the relevance here?"
"So think like a bard!" I said, trying to confident. "We're on Neera's personal quest! She's the star right now, it's all about Neera's story playing out. If all life is a play, what's the most dramatic thing that could happen next?"
Yes, I'm borrowing this from Elan of the Order of the Stick. Nobody in Faerun would have read the webcomic, so I should be safe?
The party blinked.
"Wha-what? I, I don't get it," Khalid said.
"It's okay. None of us do," Jaheira consoled her husband.
Imoen and Neera gave each other a look. Neera looked back at me, giving me a funny look. "Let me guess. Ekandor appears with his goons, right?"
"Exactly!" I said excitedly. This was going to work after all! "We're due to have Neera's personal nemesis make an appearance. And the perfect timing would be right when we find Adoy! It makes perfect sense!"
"…"
Everyone persisted in looking at me like I had grown horns.
"N-No, it doesn't? I think?" Khalid said.
"That's right dear. Well done," Jaheira said to him, then turned to me with a questioning glare. "What mushrooms have you been eating?!?"
Oh, crap! I cringed back. There was really no way, was there? We were just going to have to rough it out and make it through somehow, without special prep. Potentially live-saving prep.
"Never mind. Forget I said anything," I muttered then lay on my bedroll on the ground, and turned away.
Imoen and Neera gave each other another look (they've been doing that a lot lately). This time Imoen spoke, "Alright, I think it's time we address this." She sat up from her place on the bed (there were two beds and both she and Neera got them), and turned me over, and sat me up.
I looked back at her, puzzled by her behaviour.
She looked back at me, expectantly. "So, tell us what exactly is going to happen. How you know it can come later."
"Wha-what?"
She rolled here eyes. "Yes, yes. You've been doing this for awhile now. Jaheira just thought you had good foresight or whatever, but you really went too far. Not important," she said, then held me by the shoulders. "Focus. What is going to happen, what do we need to do to win? Spell it out."
I grimaced. I really did go too far, huh? Well, that problem can come later. Right now, we had to strategize.
"For the last time, we're not firebombing them along with Khalid. Nor you!" Jaheira yelled.
Magreb looked in to check on us, and we waved him away.
"Come on, I've been waiting for an opportunity to use all this stuff we have for so long! A Necklace of Missiles, two Oils of Fiery Burning, and three Potions of Explosions," I argued. "Ekandor will have Stoneskin up, firebombs are a great counter! Difficult fight, instantly incinerated!"
"The point is Adoy will be right there!" Neera shrieked. "He could get caught in the blast and killed!"
"He'll be fine! He's, uh, essential to Neera's story! Important plot characters can't die!"
"Stop it with the whole Order of, uh, life's a stage thing, no one's buying that!" Neera said, wringing her hands. "There are limits to the risks we can take. That's way over the line!"
"Your life isn't worth the risk?" I snapped back at her. "Because that's literally what's in danger here. Are you willing to risk your life for Adoy's? Because I'm not."
That took Neera aback. She pursed her lips, frustrated, but didn't argue back.
"We can find another way," Jaheira proclaimed. "Rather, you can find another way. I know you by now. You can both keep Neera and Adoy safe. You just have to find a way that is less fool proof, more uncertain. But you can make it work. Right, Branwen?"
Branwen nodded. "We shall save all our charges, Neera and Adoy. This duty, we entrust to you, our wise war-chief."
I sniffed. Ohhhh, now you're buttering me up. You think I'm so easy? That my pride is so important to me.
Yes, it's working. My chest is positively filled with delight. God damn.
"Fine!" I said in surrender, "You women always make things difficult for me. We give up easy victory for a somewhat reasonable chance of victory."
The ladies shared a smile together. Khalid smiled, too.
"What idiot let you in here? You shall die -ack- let me finish!" Rokgod or whatever his name was saying just before we filled him with arrows and bullets.
"Just die so we can move on, geez," Neera muttered.
That didn't escape my notice. Problems for later. I was a bit preoccupied with twirling bullets at goblins.
One hobgoblin and a couple of goblins, even a special hobgoblin, really weren't a match for us at this stage. I almost considered posing over Rodrod or whatever to farm some aura, but decided against it. A man's got to have standards.
Behind a screen door nearby, was where Adoy was apparently being held prisoner. "Seeing as how only Adoy is left, he must be the so-called god in question," I said. "Since he created the goblins, it's a reasonable they thought he was a god."
"You don't know that is what happened!" Neera protested, stamping her foot.
We didn't bother to argue with her. I looked to the party. "Everyone ready?"
Adoy was indeed behind the screen door. He was pleasantly surprised to see a group of adventurers burst into the room, mostly human or half-elf. Anything less goblin or goblinoid was welcome at this point. He was about to speak up when a halfling boy put a finger to his mouth, and walked to the back of the cave Adoy was held in. The halfling was lugging wooden planks on his shoulder.
"Here and here," the halfing said, pointing at the ground. A girl in pink clothes came forward, and she and the halfling boy got to work. Whacking at the ceiling with a pickaxe, reinforcing the ceiling with wooden planks. Adoy watched them work, bewildered.
Meanwhile, another pink-haired woman, half-elf, was looking his way. Trying not to be obvious. She looked like she wanted to say something, did not. She was guzzling down a potion of some sort which Adoy didn't recognise.
Once the halfling and the first pink-themed girl was done, they rejoined their group but stuck to the shadows of the cave. Only then did the only grown man of the group step forward. "So-so sorry about that. We're expecting trouble due to, uh, circumstances. How are you?"
"I'm fine, thank you good ser for asking," Adoy said. "Thank Mystra someone has come for me at last! It's too bad you had to cut your way through."
The pink-haired half-elf lady stepped forward. "I'm a wild mage," she said. "I hoped you could teach me how to control my magic."
Oh dear. Adoy knew he was going to have to disappoint the poor woman. "Well, I'm afraid I'm not the best example of learning to control wild magic. Especially not after I summoned goblins through my last wild surge."
The halfling gave Adoy the side eye, even as he kept watch over the section of the cave where he had set up his contraptions earlier. "You're not responsible for the goblins thinking you're actually a god are you?"
"I certainly did not indicate as such, but they came to their own conclusions. The arrival of the hobgoblin complicated the whole misunderstanding further. Going along with the whole god misunderstanding kept me alive 'til now," Adoy admitted. "It's all part of the wonder of wild magic. You have to be ready for a little unexpected excitement at any moment."
"He's not joking, let me tell you," the pink half-elf interjected.
"WE KNOW," everyone in the group answered back, making her cringe.
Their friendly banter was interrupted by a crackle of magic in the air. Five portals crackled, then five figures teleported in; two bald mage in red, a fierce ogre with a two-handed sword, and two rough-looking men wielding long spears.
One of the mages, the one in more elaborate robes, spoke, "At last! Not only have we caught up with that slippery elf-"
"Half-elf! What is wrong with you?" pink-hair half-elf interrupted him.
"Half-elf! You'll regret spoiling my grand entrance once we subdue you for examination," the mage said, shaking his fist. "We'll take you and the new wild mage!"
A brown-haired half-elven woman stepped forward. Adoy was just wondering where the halfling or other lady in pink went when the brown-haired half-elven woman spoke, "You'll be doing nothing of the sort. You teleport right back to Thay, or die right here."
"Then prepare to die!" the mage snarled.
This was Adoy's cue! "Not if I can help it. Behold the power of untamed magic!" Adoy declared and spun his magic.
Adoy promptly turned into a chicken.
Then a small section of the cave fell onto the heads of the ogre, two rough men, and the other mage.
Even as a chicken, Adoy was quite pleased with himself. What a great outcome! He couldn't have planned it better himself. I'll call it, 'Rocks fall, enemies die'!
In spite of dropping debris on their heads, all our enemies were far from defeated this time. That's just testament to how strong they were. As Khalid went toe to toe with the ogre berserker, I moved behind and took it out for good.
Unfortunately, in spite of our best efforts, we were unable to stop Ekandor and the other mage's first defensive spells; Stoneskin and Mirror Image respectively. The two Thayan Bodyguards predictably entered a berserker rage, screaming at the top of their lungs, and charged straight at Neera, right past Khalid, Jaheira and even Branwen.
Meanwhile, Jaheira and Branwen were busy casting Doom at Ekandor and Chant respectively. Imoen tried her best to start putting shots into the two Thayan Bodyguards, which was rather challenging in the heat of battle what with all the people moving around in a melee. Neera on the other hand cast Mirror Image.
Unfortunately, all she got was a wild surge. The surge targeted everyone in her party, healing our wounds. Of which we had none.
"A bit of help here?" Neera yelled even as the two berserkers reached her.
"Don't look at me. It's your own bloody fault!" I shouted back at her. Seriously, she just has to find way to mess up our plans, even with her own life on the line. "Get moving!"
So a moving did she get! Neera dodged under one spear strike, side-stepped another, and ran towards Khalid. Good call, gotta admit.
Even through their rage, the Thayan Bodyguards looked surprised that their strikes didn't connect with an unarmored mage. They were too far gone to give up though, and dogged after Neera.
Imoen and I were busy trying to focus on one of the two berserkers, while Khalid tried to intercept. An arrow to the back, a bullet to the groin, and a longsword clean through his leg brought him down. Unfortunately the other berserker was right on Neera's tail, stabbing ferociously, every stab a lethal thrust.
Jaheira's and Branwen's spells completed, Doom affecting Ekandor and Chant affecting the whole battlefield. Ekandor, completely unhurt by Jaheira's and Branwen's spells, raised an eyebrow at them. "What are you playing at?"
It was time for round 2. Ekandor quickly topped up his defenses with Mirror Image, and the Thayan mage accompanying him started a long incantation. Branwen started incanting as well, while Jaheira joined Khalid to battle the surviving berserker.
"You'll regret ignoring us very soon," Ekandor said with a smile.
Not like the bodyguard gave us a choice!
"Neera! Stand your ground, Magic Missile the other mage!" I shouted, pulling out my wand as I did so. Khalid and Imoen did so as well.
6 Magic Missiles flew out at the other mage. Image after image disappeared, but one struck through, interrupting his spell.
But even Neera's short incantation put her in harm's way, the berserker with a spear ready to capitalise on it. He lunged with a furious thrust, ready to impale the pink-haired head at the tip of his spear!
And missed, once again. The berserker screamed in fury! Not a single strike between him and his ally had struck home!
His outrage was short-lived, however. Though he dodged an arrow, the two warriors' club and longsword struck true, battering and slashing him. A bullet to the skull ended his life summarily.
Ekandor laughed. "Fools! They're just here to buy me time. With all my defences up, you cannot hope to survive my onslaught!" He started incanting his third spell, and so did the other Thayan mage.
They never got a chance to finish. Branwen completed her second spell before them; Silence.
It was only as the Silence spell took hold over him, did Ekandor realise the purpose of the first two spells, Doom and Chant. They were lowering my defences against the Silence spell!
Ekandor and his ally looked at each other, unable to cry for help or even mercy. Their bodyguards were down, and they were unable to utter a spell to defend themselves. Ekandor may still have his Stoneskins and Mirror Images, but the slippery half-elf had nearly her full complement of spells left to destroy him in spite of those defenses.
Imoen did a little dance. "Do the thing! Do the thing!"
"As if. I can do better," Neera sneered. She pointed right at Ekandor, her eyes cold. "You thought you were going to have my head? On a platter, for you to study?" She said, then ran her thumb across her throat. "You're going to lose yours instead."
Dangerous enemies appearing in a specific place was just begging to be hit with traps. Having said that, causing a small cave-in was not strictly necessary. What was necessary were two considerations; shutting down the enemy mages, and protecting Neera from the two berserking Bodyguards.
Branwen had an extra cast of Silence prepared in case the other one didn't take hold, by the way. Silence is the absolute best solution for Ekandor and his Thayan mage, IF you can get it to connect. Ekandor has a very impressive save vs spell of 10, but fortunately saving vs Silence has a -5 penalty. So 10+5=15, Ekandor saves on 15 or better, meaning he had a 30% chance of saving against Silence. Not terrible, but I wanted better odds. So I cast Doom on him and Chant first, to increase the odds that Silence connects to 85%. Alternatively, we could have had Branwen cast Silence twice, or three times.
As for the Bodyguards, since they are very keen on attacking Neera, I used her as bait. This was a great use of a Potion of Defence, courtesy of Silke's trading partners, together with a Ring of Protection+1, pushed down her effective AC to -4. With the Girdle of Piercing, she had effectively AC -7 vs their spears. Mirror Images WOULD have helped her survive the rare hit that got through, if only she could be trusted to cast it right when it counted! She didn't need to tank them for very long, just stand still long enough for the rest of the team to put the Thayan Bodyguards down.
Personally, I would have just incinerated the lot of them with my growing supply of fire bombs.
PSA: Do not throw Lightning Bolts in round, small caverns. The bolts bounce, and have friendly fire issues.
"I'm really really really sorr-EEEEEE!"
"Move! Dodge! CRAP!"
Ekandor, watching the idiots dodging Neera's lightning bolts, thought to himself, I am going to die to these imbeciles. If only I had a dagger that I may kill myself first.
Loot: Rugged Leathers +2, 1 Wand of Fear, 3 potions of healing, a Potion of Genius (+4 Intelligence), Bastard Sword +1, a Shortbow +1 (and I just bought one!)