I wake up from a very fitful night sleep. There is nothing really new there though, I mean what exactly was I expecting? That things would
change overnight just because I hoped and willed them to?
"At least, this time, I didn't wake up screaming", I mutter to myself even as I rub my eyes groggily. My nightmares are bearable as long as they are not the ones that have me trashing and screaming into the night. Those
ones are the scariest ones. I recall one night when the nightmares were at their peak, I had just newly escaped from the establishment, and I couldn't bring myself to wake up from it. That feeling of helplessness that comes from a sleep paralysis? That's exactly what I had felt
in that moment, but it felt even ten times worse. I had felt so trapped in the dream that I genuinely thought there was no way I was going to survive it. It had been so bad that night, it was probably one of the reasons why I finally agreed to therapy. I'm glad I started therapy, although it may not seem to be having an effect, but at the very least, the intensity of my nightmares have greatly reduced. Also, therapy brought me a partner in crime in the form of my Mirv. She may not have experienced the same things that I have been subjected to, but I know she is fighting her demons and I hope she gets to conquer them some day.
I glance at the wall clock and it is currently half past 6. I still have well enough time to get my shit together and get ready for what is already looking like a very dreary day. I still cannot understand my own reasoning behind getting a day job as a reception and a cashier at a café. It's not exactly like I am doing badly financially, infact it's quite the opposite. This
could also be one of the reasons why I decided to get a day job, not like I'm obligated to or like I really care what others think about me, but it's an easy front for me, especially with my very nosy neighbors. Another reason is the way
it keeps me occupied during the day and keeps my mind in a state of semi sanity. God knows without this job, I'd most likely have lost my mind and gone on a killing spree the minute I had the training and the skills to take down
the bastards who took the best part of my childhood and my innocence away from me.
That's not to say I didn't derive a very sick satisfaction in killing off a few of them. I made sure the killings were well spaced and too haphazard for even the police to find a pattern to label it as the work of a serial killer. By the
time I am done picking them off one after the other, they would not even know what hit them until it is too late. Just the thought of this is enough to make me smile even as I head towards the bathroom to freshen up for the day.
By the time I'm done taking my bath and preparing for the day, I'm left with 45 minutes left on the clock. I'd need 15 minutes to get to
the café , which only means that I have at least 30 minutes to myself before I need to go out and face the day. I decided to put a call through to Mirv, the gala is in 2 days and I don't have a dress that suitable for the occasion as
well as suitable for snooping around without having to worry about my dress getting in the way.
"I was wondering when you will finally need me enough to call me", Mirv teases the moment she picks up the phone. She knows more than
anybody else that phone calls are definitely not my thing.
"Yeah yeah, whatever…", I can't help the fond smile on my face. Mirv to me is like the sister I never knew I needed until she came into my life. "When would you be available for some shopping. Bills on me".
"I'm always available to go shopping whenever, you just have to say the word. Also, bills are obviously going to be on you, that's the least you can do if you're going to be having me there as your fashion advisor"
"Ohhhhh shut the fuck up, you're so annoying sometimes"
"But it doesn't make you love me any less, or does it?"
I'm full-on laughing now. I don't tell her often, but she's probably the best thing that ever happened to me. It felt like the universe saw
the dirty hand that had been dealt to me and decided to redeem me by sending Mirv my way.
"Yeah, I love you I guess", I'm trying to be sarcastic with my response but I end up failing, "How about 3:00 pm later today?", I hurriedly
say in an attempt to cover up the fact that I just shared a little too much of my true feelings with her.
"Ummm…that's great. Absolutely fine by me". If she notices my miserable attempt at cover up, she doesn't draw any attention to it which
I'm grateful for.
"Okay then, see you by 3:00pm".
I end the call and by now, it's time to me to leave the house or I'll be late to the café and Simon would not hesitate to give me a lecture
on the dangers of tardiness.