He closed his eyes and rested his head against the wall. The heart knows what it wants. That was the issue, right?
He wanted to knock on Veronica's door right now because of his heart, or maybe his gut, or whatever part of him made decisions based on feeling rather than logic. He wanted to know if she was really okay, if she wanted to talk, or if she needed a friend.
But his brain knew that getting involved with a married woman was a bad idea, having spent two years learning how to be disciplined and control himself. He knew that getting involved with a married woman, even one whose marriage was falling apart, was a line he shouldn't cross.
He knew he had worked too hard to become someone he could respect, and he didn't want to throw it all away by becoming that guy. But what if the system was right?
What if his actions had nothing to do with being a vulture or a homewrecker? What if it was just about being there for someone who needed them, like Logan did all those years when he was alone and no one could see him?
"Fuck," Logan said softly in the empty apartment.
He was overthinking this, getting himself all worked up trying to find the right answer when there might not have been one. Sometimes life just threw you into messy, complicated situations, and you had to figure out how to get through them as best you could.
He got out of bed and began his workout. Planks, sit-ups, squats, and push-ups. The familiar burn in his muscles helped calm his mind, at least for a little while. When he was done, he was sweating and breathing hard, and the jumbled thoughts had turned into something that looked like clarity.
He couldn't stop thinking about Veronica. That much was clear.
He'd heard her fight with her husband, seen how worn out she was, and offered to help. Logan hadn't spent two years rebuilding himself just to be a coward now. It would be cowardly to act like none of that happened.
But he couldn't just go after her like it was some kind of mission or conquest for the system. She was a real person going through a difficult time, and she deserved better than to be treated like a target.
What was left after that? The options included being a supportive neighbor or simply showing kindness.
Or maybe someone she could talk to if she needed to, with no strings attached or hidden agendas. That's fine if something comes out of it naturally. If it didn't, that's fine too. He could deal with that lack of certainty.
...
Logan took a shower, put on clean clothes, and then made himself a simple dinner of rice and grilled chicken. He ate without tasting anything, his mind still going over the problem from every angle. He washed his dishes when he was done and then stood at the window, looking down at the courtyard below.
The lights were still on, making the picnic tables look warm and yellow. A couple sat on one of the benches, talking and laughing.
They were at ease with each other. Logan watched them for a while and felt something twist in his chest. That is how a relationship should be. Simple, cozy, and full of laughter instead of fights and silence.
He turned around, startled, when someone knocked on his door. It was almost ten o'clock at night. Who would be knocking at this time of night?
Logan walked over to the door and opened it. Veronica was standing in the hallway.
She had changed into sweatpants and a big hoodie that made her look younger and more vulnerable. She had no makeup on, and her hair was down, falling loosely around her shoulders.
The wedding ring was still on her finger, spinning around and around. "I'm sorry to bother you," she said in a soft voice.
"I understand it is late, but I genuinely require some coffee at this moment... and unfortunately, I do not have any."
"Do you have any that I could borrow? I'll pay you for it."
Logan knew right away that the exchange wasn't really about coffee. People didn't knock on their neighbor's door at ten o'clock at night because they really needed coffee. The visit was an excuse for her not to be alone in her apartment after her husband left in a fit of rage.
"She's coming with that appearance... I can't lie to myself anymore that she's one of my type."
He could politely tell her to leave and tell her he didn't have any coffee, which was true because he liked tea and protein shakes better. Or maybe he can close the door and stick to his promise not to get involved.
Logan instead stepped back and opened the door wider. "I don't have any coffee, but I do have tea if that works."
"You could also just come in and talk for a while. You seem like you could use a friend."
Veronica hesitated, and Logan could see the fight going on inside her. The part of her that wanted to stay away and be proper was at odds with the part that was tired of being alone and pretending to be fine.
She finally said, "I shouldn't... It's late, and you should probably get some sleep."
"Honestly, I'm not sleepy. Additionally, I must admit that I could use some company."
"This new apartment with no furniture is making me kind of lonely." Logan shrugged, trying to act like it was no big deal. "Don't worry about it, though. If you change your mind, the offer still stands."
For a long time, Veronica just stood there, and Logan thought she was going to say no and leave. Then she took a short breath and nodded.
"Tea sounds good... thank you."
Logan closed the door behind her as she walked into his apartment. He knew for sure that he had just crossed a line that he couldn't go back on.
The system didn't say anything, not even congratulations, warnings, or comments. It just sat there and watched to see what would happen next.
Logan plugged in his electric kettle and filled it with water. Then he took out two mugs and a box of green tea.
His hands were steady, but his heart was racing. Veronica stood by the window and looked down at the courtyard, just like he had a few moments before.
Logan said, "I heard your argument earlier," because he thought it was better to be honest than to lie.
"I'm sorry about that... I wasn't trying to listen in. I was just coming back from the store when I saw that your door was open."
Veronica didn't look back. "I'm sorry you had to hear that."
"That wasn't right for you, so there's no need to apologize."
"I'm sorry you're going through what you're going through."
She finally turned to look at him, and without makeup to hide it, her tiredness was even more obvious. "Marcus and I have been having issues for a while now, and tonight was just another reminder that we can't seem to fix them."
Logan poured hot water over the tea bags and brought both mugs over. He gave one to Veronica.
She held it in her hands, using the heat to keep her steady. They stood there for a moment without saying anything, and Logan knew this was it.
At this point, he had to either stick to his beliefs or admit that they might not be as strong as he thought. He asked in a low voice, "Do you want to talk about it?"
Veronica looked up at him and searched his face with her eyes. Maybe she needed to trust him, or make a decision, or see a sign that she could be honest without it being used against her later.
She must have been pleased with what she found because she took a sip of her tea and started to talk. Logan listened, knowing that things were about to change.