「 Sunlight filtered through the branches, dappling the campus grove. A gentle breeze carried the warmth of early summer.
A girl stood beneath a cherry blossom tree, her silhouette strikingly vivid amidst the falling petals. She had slightly messy, short pink hair and light brown eyes that resembled autumn maple leaves. The corners of her eyes tilted up slightly, radiating a pure, worldly innocence. Her skin was a healthy, sun-kissed tan.
The girl wore a school uniform: a white blouse paired with a dark black skirt, and a lively ribbon tied at her collar, looking both spunky and cute.
In your hurry, you accidentally tripped and fell. Sitting on the ground in pain, you found yourself so captivated by the girl's figure that you couldn't move for a long moment.
She reached out a hand to you.
"Are you okay?"
"I..."
When she realized you were staring, she smiled, revealing two shallow dimples and a small snaggletooth. Her voice was crisp and full of energy, instantly making you feel welcome. "I'm Yuuyuuko. And you?" 」
Satoru Gojo: ...Is it just my imagination, or does this Yuuyuuko look a bit familiar?
Yuji? Is that you, Yuji?
Did his dear student fail to defeat Sukuna after all, only to be tossed into a galgame world to serve as the female lead?
Gojo was speechless. Seeing the three options pop up, he didn't even have to think before choosing the second one.
* "None of your business. Get lost."
* "Thank you, Yuuyuuko. My name is..."
* "Can I know what color your panties are?"
What kind of trash game did the System make? The first one is a sociopath and the third is a pervert. Any normal person would choose the second. It looks like this competition will be a bit difficult... eh?
He glanced at the other two.
Gin, without hesitation, chose the first option. Calvados, after deep and agonizing deliberation, chose the third.
Gojo: ...I overestimated you both. Fine. Next...
「 Lunch break at school, on a sun-drenched rooftop. Yuuyuuko approached you carrying an exquisite bento box, a shy blush on her face.
"I made this bento myself. Would you like to try some?"
The box was tied with a delicate bow, showing how much heart she had put into it. 」
* "Wow, it looks delicious! I'll eat every single bite!"
* "Can you feed it to me with your mouth?"
* "You eat first. Let's see if it's poisoned."
Is this dialogue seriously not custom-made for certain people?
Gojo clicked the first option, then watched as Gin and Calvados chose three and two respectively—perfectly embodying a paranoid prick and a sexual harasser.
They were hopeless. Utterly hopeless.
Yet, a shred of hope remained in his heart. While it was impossible for these two to win, he was curious to see if they could actually have an epiphany, so he kept going. Before he knew it, he had reached the final chapter.
By the way, how did these two make it to the final chapter? Shouldn't they have been forced into a Game Over halfway through? Yuuyuuko was clearly far too forgiving.
「 ...Yuuyuuko reached out to you, her pale lips trembling. She was dying. 」
Wait, wasn't this a school romance? Why did it suddenly turn into a 'Bad Ending' route? Author, is there something wrong with you?
I acknowledge you, the person who managed to turn the Six Eyes into a professional critic.
「 Her former energy and liveliness were gone, yet she looked at you tenderly and whispered: "Before, I always worked hard to help others, because my dream was to die surrounded by everyone."
"But, at this very moment, my dream is to die in your arms."
"Can you... hold me?" 」
* "It's okay, Yuuyuuko. You did great." (Hug tightly)
* "No. Don't get blood on me."
* "It's fine. If I don't hug you, you won't die."
Even the heartless Gojo felt a pang in his chest.
Why do I have to get stabbed by Jujutsu Kaisen tropes even after I've crossed over to Conan?! Even Gojo-sensei's heart can hurt!
He tenderly chose the first option, fulfilling Yuuyuuko's wish.
Unsurprisingly, one of those two chose option two and the other chose option three.
Kurosawa Jin, how on earth do you have the emotional intelligence to mix Martinis with Vermouth in the future? And as for the other guy—the combination of pervert and airhead—Gojo finally understood why he could only ever be the Vermouth's simp.
Over. Game End.
Without a doubt, the winner was Satoru Gojo, who had maxed out Yuuyuuko's affection.
If he had been playing for himself, he probably would have clicked the annoying options just for the chaos. But to win, he had to be somewhat serious.
"A total waste of time." Gin had thought romance games were pointless to begin with; now he finally snapped out of it and stopped trying to compete pointlessly with Gojo.
He put down the controller and turned to see Gojo patting Calvados on the shoulder, saying earnestly, "You'll never win the goddess like that."
Calvados, completely won over by Gojo's perfect score and realizing Gojo had seen through his feelings for Vermouth, asked humbly, "Please, Kaiser-sama, teach me."
"Hmm... I'm not used to that. Just call me Gojo-sensei."
"Understood, Gojo-sensei."
He didn't expect to be called "Sensei" again under these circumstances.
[Calvados, you pathetic loser, do you even remember you're older than Satoru Gojo? Have you no shame?]
Gin decided their conversation was brainless drivel. He was tired of playing, so he got up and headed out to train.
...In truth, Gojo himself didn't know how to date. The original Satoru was a lifelong bachelor, always joking around; he was just pure friends with Shoko and Utahime. Later, he was too busy reforming the Jujutsu world to think about such complicated matters.
The only reason he won the dating sim was that he chose answers based on basic human logic. It was just that his opponents weren't exactly "normal."
So, facing Calvados's request for guidance, he bought a "Love Bible" filled with cheesy pick-up lines from the System Mall. He pulled it out from behind his back like a magic trick and gave it to the man, boasting that with this book, the goddess would be his—the only catch was whether his understanding was deep enough.
Perhaps due to the long-standing "Genius Filter," Calvados flipped through the book and actually felt inspired. He believed Gojo's words implicitly and said, "Gojo-sensei, I owe you one. If you ever need me for anything in the future, just contact me."
[Impression Points from story character Calvados increased by 500. Analysis: Respect.]
I didn't expect this guy, who barely had any lines in the original story, to be so honest.
Well, not bad. When Akai Shuichi is about to break his legs, maybe I'll give him a hint or two.
Happy times are always short-lived. A few hours flashed by, and the sun was setting.
Gojo felt hungry. He got up to dial the "omnipotent" delivery number Vermouth had left, but noticed Sake—Kasumi Shimizu—was in tears beside him.
"Shimizu... no, Sake, what's wrong?"
The sensitive girl wiped her tears. "Kaiser-sama, I'm fine... it's just, this manga is so touching. I've never seen such a bond. Why couldn't they be together in the end? Uuu..."
Gojo looked at the manga. It happened to be open to a page where two boys were smiling at each other, one of them saying, "Because we're friends."
...Seriously, how many other manga tropes is this story going to mix in?!